How to talk someone out of suicide

[Eggle]

I have a dear friend who is contemplating suicide. They are many miles away abroad so I can't be there for them, only try to talk and email. I'm not too sure how serious, but it has been tried before, but luckily failed. If I thought it would help, I would go out.
I am hoping some of you guys can give me serious suggestions that can help me. I am sailing in the dark a bit, but need to help somehow.

No crap please, I have enough to think about. They won't open and talk to anyone, which is the problem. I need to talk them out of this.

[Cara van man]

Just tell him/her how much they mean to you as a friend and that you'll be on the end of the phone 24 hours a day to talk.

Can't think of much else you could possibly do.

Edited by Cara van man on Tuesday 3rd November 14:55

[allister88]

Call a psyciatric doctor straight away, get this person sectioned. They clearly need help.

Sorry for the blunt answer.

[V8mate]

Cara van man said:

Just tell him/her how much you mean to them as a friend and that you'll be on the end of the phone 24 hours a day to talk.

Can't think of much else you could possibly do.

I disagree. Ever tried talking to a woman when she's got 'the mental'? Just doesn't compute. This level of depression will have the OP's mate's mind in the same place.

You either need to get a medical/social intervention to happen locally or give him the 'don't be such a selfish ' talk.

Edited by V8mate on Tuesday 3rd November 14:58

[Schmeeky]

I don't have any great pearls of wisdom, but quite a few years ago I was in a very dark place myself. It helped knowing there were people out there who cared about me. Counseling also helped, having someone who didn't know me to unload all my worries onto.

I hope you friend works through their troubles and can find a way forwards.

[10 Pence Short]

WHATEVER YOU DO- DO NOT ASK THEM TO START A THREAD ON PH.

[allister88]

Schmeeky said:

I don't have any great pearls of wisdom, but quite a few years ago I was in a very dark place myself. It helped knowing there were people out there who cared about me. Counseling also helped, having someone who didn't know me to unload all my worries onto.

I hope you friend works through their troubles and can find a way forwards.

I'm sorry to hear that, but could it not be questioned that the individual from the OP has tried this before (and failed), yet is willing to give it another go?

Counciling isn't a short term fix.

[Mattygooner]

10 Pence Short said:

WHATEVER YOU DO- DO NOT ASK THEM TO START A THREAD ON PH.

Professional help sounds like the way to go on this one.

[Schmeeky]

allister88 said:

Schmeeky said:

I don't have any great pearls of wisdom, but quite a few years ago I was in a very dark place myself. It helped knowing there were people out there who cared about me. Counseling also helped, having someone who didn't know me to unload all my worries onto.

I hope you friend works through their troubles and can find a way forwards.

I'm sorry to hear that, but could it not be questioned that the individual from the OP has tried this before (and failed), yet is willing to give it another go?

Counciling isn't a short term fix.

Counseling helped me enough to get to a place where I could start to help myself, so it worked for me. I'm still affected by depression, but somehow I manage. The OPs friend probably needs their friends more than anything, plus counseling, plus help from their GP.

All IMHO, though, there's probably as many reasons for depression as there are people with depression.

[funkyol]

Get them to speak to Lindylops and PageJobe

[RDMcG]

Strongly advise being very careful on the internet. Thee are suicide forums with some very,very sick people lurking out there. Your friend should get face to face professional help.

http://ksax.com/article/stories/S1192447.shtml?cat...

[Frankeh]

10 Pence Short said:

WHATEVER YOU DO- DO NOT ASK THEM TO START A THREAD ON PH.

Err, last time it happened didn't everyone do a paypal whip around?

Anyway, it's most likely a cry for attention. You can't fail suicide imo. You either half heatedly do it for attention or you do it with dedication and die.

This does not mean they wont kill themselves.. It just means they wont want to do it when they finally manage it half heatedly.

[Mc lovin]

If they are going to do it, then they will, there is no help for some people.

However if its a cry for help, which i'd be inclined to think due to the fact that they have obviously told you they have been having these thoughts then, i wouldn't be so concerned. Having said that i would make sure they had professional help and treatment for severe depression.

[Don]

Professional help. A.S.A.P.

Whether they hate you forever or thank you once they've come around it's irrelevant. It's the right thing to do.

[AB]

RDMcG said:

Strongly advise being very careful on the internet. Thee are suicide forums with some very,very sick people lurking out there. Your friend should get face to face professional help.

http://ksax.com/article/stories/S1192447.shtml?cat...

Always been intrigued, can I see a link?

[Jam Spavlin]

Go see them if they are a true friend you will drop anything for them I know I would. Alternatively ask them to come stay with you for a bit he may just be a lonley soul who needs some redirection in his life. The other option is point him in the direction of pistonheads forum im sure even the most depressed person can get a smile out of this forum as its so diverse makes me a happier person!

[Cara van man]

V8mate said:

Cara van man said:

Just tell him/her how much you mean to them as a friend and that you'll be on the end of the phone 24 hours a day to talk.

Can't think of much else you could possibly do.

I disagree. Ever tried talking to a woman when she's got 'the mental'? Just doesn't compute. This level of depression will have the OP's mate's mind in the same place.

You either need to get a medical/social intervention to happen locally or give him the 'don't be such a selfish ' talk.

Edited by V8mate on Tuesday 3rd November 14:58

so, a bit of tact and a shoulder to cry on won't help?

It may be what he's crying out for.....a bit of attention and someone to spill his troubles to.

[V8mate]

Cara van man said:

V8mate said:

Cara van man said:

Just tell him/her how much you mean to them as a friend and that you'll be on the end of the phone 24 hours a day to talk.

Can't think of much else you could possibly do.

I disagree. Ever tried talking to a woman when she's got 'the mental'? Just doesn't compute. This level of depression will have the OP's mate's mind in the same place.

You either need to get a medical/social intervention to happen locally or give him the 'don't be such a selfish ' talk.

so, a bit of tact and a shoulder to cry on won't help?

It may be what he's crying out for.....a bit of attention and someone to spill his troubles to.

Would the real Cara Van Man please stand up

[Cara van man]

I have to deal with some quite unusual situations sometimes at work......so I'm not totally devoid of empathy.

Nearly, but not quite.

[BigAlinEmbra]

Agree on the professional help if they really are serious. Indeed, if it's proper depression then there's not a huge amount you can do yourself.

That said, if it was my mate I'd still want to wade in myself. My approach would be, what's the problem?

1) Money?
2) Work?
3) Woman/marriage?
4) Kids?
5) Health?

Worst case scenario.
1) Bankruptcy?
2) Unemployed?
3) Left single at the age of x?
4) Single, no access to kids?
5) Long lingering death of motor neurone disease, gradually losing your marbles, etc?

Answers
1) So what if you'e skint? Come and stay with me, while you sort stuff out. This could well be related to 2.
2) Given the heave-ho from work? Did you really like it? Take opportunity to take career break, travel, start in a new direction.
3) If you've just got divorced/dumped, then just as equally there could be someone else in the same boat. I'd veer clear of recommending goin out hunting divorcees, but you get the idea. Women get a bit deranged every time they hit a half deade marker over 25 and they don't have kids and get increasingly desperate, point this out to your newly desperate mate.
4) Don spiderman suit and climb prominent public building. If the kids are young he could well have more rights than he thinks anyway.
5) Dignitas.

I'm not a mental health professional btw, just some pointers to get you thinking.