My other half's sister.
Discussion
I’ve known my other half for years, long before we started dating, I also knew who her sister was. In her youth and throughout university she was athletic and in healthy shape but over the last 3-4 years this has all changed.
She is now 30, living with a chap of around 60 (at a guess, she won’t tell us his age and we never see him.) She has ballooned from a size 12 to around size 18-20 at a guess. I realise it is her life and she can do what she want’s but its quite unnerving to see her like this considering how she used to be.
She did a sponsored 10k run a few months back which was greeted with a sigh of relief. Maybe this was a turning point for her bad habits? I’ll admit she did lose some weight during her training.
That was the last time I saw her until this weekend. Now she is bigger than ever. This Saturday we headed out with her, my other half and their family to celebrate a birthday. We had a delicious Chinese banquet then headed to the parents house for an hour before going out to the pub until the small hours.
The sister doesn’t drink alcohol, she reluctantly came to the pub, had 2 J2O’s and left alone to head back to the parents house.
The kitchen is usually bare of any goodies keeping temptation to a minimum, except this time for a multipack of Kit Kats, a pack of 10. The other half’s Dad had eaten one the day before and left them in the cupboard. When we got back from the pub we found the multipack of Kit Kats with one left. The sister had eaten 8 Kit Kats in the 2 and a half hours she had spent in the house alone.
I’m not sure what is more amazing, the fact she felt the need to eat 8 kit Kats between 11pm and 1.30am after a Chinese banquet or the fact she decided that she was full after 8 and didn't fancy the 9th!
This is not the first instance of such behaviour. Last Christmas she proceeded to demolish her advent calendar, opening all the doors and eating all the chocolate on the 1st December.
Is this normal behaviour for a 30 year old woman? I am pretty worried for her health as you can imagine. Quite rightly, her family members are a little concerned. Is there anything that can be done or should I leave her to it, stay silent and watch on helplessly?
Now where's the popcorn smiley!
She is now 30, living with a chap of around 60 (at a guess, she won’t tell us his age and we never see him.) She has ballooned from a size 12 to around size 18-20 at a guess. I realise it is her life and she can do what she want’s but its quite unnerving to see her like this considering how she used to be.
She did a sponsored 10k run a few months back which was greeted with a sigh of relief. Maybe this was a turning point for her bad habits? I’ll admit she did lose some weight during her training.
That was the last time I saw her until this weekend. Now she is bigger than ever. This Saturday we headed out with her, my other half and their family to celebrate a birthday. We had a delicious Chinese banquet then headed to the parents house for an hour before going out to the pub until the small hours.
The sister doesn’t drink alcohol, she reluctantly came to the pub, had 2 J2O’s and left alone to head back to the parents house.
The kitchen is usually bare of any goodies keeping temptation to a minimum, except this time for a multipack of Kit Kats, a pack of 10. The other half’s Dad had eaten one the day before and left them in the cupboard. When we got back from the pub we found the multipack of Kit Kats with one left. The sister had eaten 8 Kit Kats in the 2 and a half hours she had spent in the house alone.
I’m not sure what is more amazing, the fact she felt the need to eat 8 kit Kats between 11pm and 1.30am after a Chinese banquet or the fact she decided that she was full after 8 and didn't fancy the 9th!
This is not the first instance of such behaviour. Last Christmas she proceeded to demolish her advent calendar, opening all the doors and eating all the chocolate on the 1st December.
Is this normal behaviour for a 30 year old woman? I am pretty worried for her health as you can imagine. Quite rightly, her family members are a little concerned. Is there anything that can be done or should I leave her to it, stay silent and watch on helplessly?
Now where's the popcorn smiley!
Edited by Republik on Monday 2nd November 16:05
My thoughts exactly. Something more deep seated is at work here I think. She used to be a bit of a looker, always had boys chasing her and ended up moving north of London for work and to be with friends. Her friends have all since dispersed and she is, looking in from the outside, very much out on her own.
She had a boyfriend who nobody approved of who was around 40 when she was 25, not long after they got together she started to pile on the pounds. They got engaged, which made her panic, she said yes to his proposal but quickly ditched him, by now she was size 16-ish.
Now for whatever reason she is living with a 60+ year old guy who we know of, but have seen sparsley, maybe once or twice in the 18 months they've been together.
She had a boyfriend who nobody approved of who was around 40 when she was 25, not long after they got together she started to pile on the pounds. They got engaged, which made her panic, she said yes to his proposal but quickly ditched him, by now she was size 16-ish.
Now for whatever reason she is living with a 60+ year old guy who we know of, but have seen sparsley, maybe once or twice in the 18 months they've been together.
fat girls and feeders?
i'd stay well out. my own sister used to be a size 8 for years, then ballooned to an 18 in the space of 2 years. i have tried to point out where she's going wrong [eating crap, lazy as, prob. a touch of mental as well] but my mum defends her and i'm told its none of my business. i have taken this on board and now just resort to fat jokes.
i'd stay well out. my own sister used to be a size 8 for years, then ballooned to an 18 in the space of 2 years. i have tried to point out where she's going wrong [eating crap, lazy as, prob. a touch of mental as well] but my mum defends her and i'm told its none of my business. i have taken this on board and now just resort to fat jokes.
To be honest I think your better off staying out of it, sounds like she might be a bit depressed and comfort eating. In my experience of life a lot of people are just a bit strange, and do strange things, the whole family ganging up on her telling her that somethings wrong might just drive her further away, if her secretive nature with regards to her partner is anything to go by. Some peoples lives change in ways we wouldn't like them too and theres not much we can do about it.
Has she always not drunk alcohol, or is this a recent thing? To my eyes this self control contrasts with the compulsive eating, superficially at least. I imagine eating 8 kit kats(2 finger or 4?) isn't nearly as bad for you as having eight pints of beer on a friday or saturday night, and I'm guessing a lot of us on here do that regularly.
I really don't hink you should get involved, just be there to support your partner.
Has she always not drunk alcohol, or is this a recent thing? To my eyes this self control contrasts with the compulsive eating, superficially at least. I imagine eating 8 kit kats(2 finger or 4?) isn't nearly as bad for you as having eight pints of beer on a friday or saturday night, and I'm guessing a lot of us on here do that regularly.
I really don't hink you should get involved, just be there to support your partner.
She used to drink a little, maybe the odd glass of wine and some alco pops, but as long as I've been with my missus I haven't seen her have any.
The strange thing is when we've been to her house she has little to no food in the fridge. Yet late at night she will drive to the local garage and buy a big bag of malteasers/minstrels and demolish them watching tv. Obviously its then straight to bed. That can't be good.
She does preech to her mum and dad that she is healthy as she doesn't smoke and drink like they do, which to an extent is true. However, it's a less convincing argument now as she weighs probably 16-18 stone (and that's being kind).
They were 2 finger kit kats by the way!
The strange thing is when we've been to her house she has little to no food in the fridge. Yet late at night she will drive to the local garage and buy a big bag of malteasers/minstrels and demolish them watching tv. Obviously its then straight to bed. That can't be good.
She does preech to her mum and dad that she is healthy as she doesn't smoke and drink like they do, which to an extent is true. However, it's a less convincing argument now as she weighs probably 16-18 stone (and that's being kind).
They were 2 finger kit kats by the way!
Republik said:
The strange thing is when we've been to her house she has little to no food in the fridge. Yet late at night she will drive to the local garage and buy a big bag of malteasers/minstrels and demolish them watching tv. Obviously its then straight to bed. That can't be good.
Depends. Maybe she's carb loading for a month long trek in the Himalayas.That seems to be something many fat people do. They avoid food all day, telling everyone they're starving and on a diet ("Poor you...", "Ah, good for you.", "You must have so much self-control, I could never do that." etc). Then right at the end of the day, they wolf down the biggest dinner ever before going to bed.
Definitely sounds like comfort eating, but unless she realises it's a problem she's not going to even consider changing her ways. I used to get through a packet of Maryland cookies a day at one point my 2nd year of university until I went home for the holidays and realised I had put on a stone. Instantly stopped what I was doing and started eating properly and lost the stone within 3 months, haven't put it back on since then.
If you're miserable then you eat things that make you feel better, in my case my Grandad had just been diagnosed with a nasty illness and my landlord at my student house was starting to show his true colours, the two things combined meant that I was miserable as hell and eating sugary snacks made me think I was feeling better. When I realised I had put on weight I was horrified enough to put the snacks away and try to deal with the problems rather than avoid them.
She needs to realise that she has got a big problem, and someone needs to find out exactly what is making her so miserable. The fact that no one has seen this bloke of hers is not a good sign, has she ever given an excuse for why he never goes to family events? How did he seem on the two occasions that family members met/saw him?
If you're miserable then you eat things that make you feel better, in my case my Grandad had just been diagnosed with a nasty illness and my landlord at my student house was starting to show his true colours, the two things combined meant that I was miserable as hell and eating sugary snacks made me think I was feeling better. When I realised I had put on weight I was horrified enough to put the snacks away and try to deal with the problems rather than avoid them.
She needs to realise that she has got a big problem, and someone needs to find out exactly what is making her so miserable. The fact that no one has seen this bloke of hers is not a good sign, has she ever given an excuse for why he never goes to family events? How did he seem on the two occasions that family members met/saw him?
MentalSarcasm said:
The fact that no one has seen this bloke of hers is not a good sign, has she ever given an excuse for why he never goes to family events? How did he seem on the two occasions that family members met/saw him?
He seems like an ok bloke. He is very shy and wears a cap the whole time pulled down over his face. He chipped into the conversations but was quite reserved. I'm not sure of reasons why he doesn't come to family events, I've heard excuses that range from work, illness, holiday. How many of these are true I'm not sure. We have only seen him when we go to her house.When her mum asked his age she said 40. Her Dad's comment was, if he's 40 then he had a tough paper round. We predict he is much more like 60, he certainly looks it.
That had crossed my mind!I agree with the stay well out of it personally, but I would at the same time press the direct family to take it up with her. Two options:
1) Somebody shakes the tree by being honest and she gets better
2) She dies a fatty in 2 years time when her heart gives out and you are left with the bill for a shed sized coffin
Hard conversations are always the most valuable ones
Shabs
1) Somebody shakes the tree by being honest and she gets better
2) She dies a fatty in 2 years time when her heart gives out and you are left with the bill for a shed sized coffin
Hard conversations are always the most valuable ones
Shabs
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