Not quite a therapist - life coach? Counsellor?
Discussion
I'm not quite sure what I'm after but I had to put finger to keyboard after another crappy day. I need someone unconnected to me to essentially review 'me' and help me change for the better. I do need to change - I don't want my daughter to grow up and be like me - but I don't know how.
I'm a mug. Or at least, people treat me like one. I must have it written on my forehead, but I can't see it. My wife is kind and says she's sorry I'm having a hard time at the moment, but that doesn't solve my problems unfortunately.
Every day, I seem to have to make contingencies for someone letting me down. As I do at the same time every year, I have to justify another team at work, who can't do their own jobs, trying to do mine instead. People who I've employed to give me services - fix my motorcycle, fit my kitchen - mug me off. I'm at risk of missing a biking holiday on Sunday because I can't get my bike back. They've just lied to me on the phone over the past week instead of doing work.
My career choices have been poor and I have continually been let down by my own poor choices. I don't deliberately make bad decisions, but what is consistent is that I get it wrong. I don't have a satisfaction at work but equally it is not easy to shift into something that pays the same.
My health is pretty crap, I have very little free time due to lack of energy due to my health, as well as the usual wife/kid responsibilities which I am very mindful of. I think I have two guys whom I'd call friends - I don't see them often. They have commitments and one lives at the other end of the country. I have been a member of clubs in the past but I'm the person who turns up and has to crowbar themselves into a conversation just to get folk to say hello, or the people pleaser who does everything for folk and then when you expect reciprocation, nobody wants to know.
I'm not really looking for sympathy. If I take credit for my successes, I must own my many failures. I've actually always done that, but it's the continual failing that is really, really getting me down. I'm on antidepressants now. I've had plenty of CBT over the years, though it's something I consider self-gaslighting and getting you to accept the unacceptable.
So, what I'm after is some sort of life coach or counsellor to tell me where I'm going wrong. To tell me how to get people to respect me - I am not the sort of person or move in the sort of circles where I can impose that through fear and battering f
k out of people. To tell me how to not make the same bad decisions over and over.
Does anyone have any advice?
I'm a mug. Or at least, people treat me like one. I must have it written on my forehead, but I can't see it. My wife is kind and says she's sorry I'm having a hard time at the moment, but that doesn't solve my problems unfortunately.
Every day, I seem to have to make contingencies for someone letting me down. As I do at the same time every year, I have to justify another team at work, who can't do their own jobs, trying to do mine instead. People who I've employed to give me services - fix my motorcycle, fit my kitchen - mug me off. I'm at risk of missing a biking holiday on Sunday because I can't get my bike back. They've just lied to me on the phone over the past week instead of doing work.
My career choices have been poor and I have continually been let down by my own poor choices. I don't deliberately make bad decisions, but what is consistent is that I get it wrong. I don't have a satisfaction at work but equally it is not easy to shift into something that pays the same.
My health is pretty crap, I have very little free time due to lack of energy due to my health, as well as the usual wife/kid responsibilities which I am very mindful of. I think I have two guys whom I'd call friends - I don't see them often. They have commitments and one lives at the other end of the country. I have been a member of clubs in the past but I'm the person who turns up and has to crowbar themselves into a conversation just to get folk to say hello, or the people pleaser who does everything for folk and then when you expect reciprocation, nobody wants to know.
I'm not really looking for sympathy. If I take credit for my successes, I must own my many failures. I've actually always done that, but it's the continual failing that is really, really getting me down. I'm on antidepressants now. I've had plenty of CBT over the years, though it's something I consider self-gaslighting and getting you to accept the unacceptable.
So, what I'm after is some sort of life coach or counsellor to tell me where I'm going wrong. To tell me how to get people to respect me - I am not the sort of person or move in the sort of circles where I can impose that through fear and battering f
k out of people. To tell me how to not make the same bad decisions over and over. Does anyone have any advice?
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