Relocating an elderly infirm person, any experience please
Discussion
My elderly uncle just died leaving my aunt alone in a nursing home two hours away from me & my wife, they had no children and I am next of kin, attorney, executor etc. they have very few visitors as their few remaining (still living) friends there are also very old.
We have wondered about moving here to be closer to us, but have no idea about the logistics, I am assuming it’s not an NHS service as it would be completely her choice. She had a stroke 5 years ago & is completely confined to bed having the use of just one arm. Her body below the waist is immoveable.
If this is a not a realistic prospect I’d rather know sooner than later as I would not want her to get her hopes up.
I’d appreciate any advice on the topic.
We have wondered about moving here to be closer to us, but have no idea about the logistics, I am assuming it’s not an NHS service as it would be completely her choice. She had a stroke 5 years ago & is completely confined to bed having the use of just one arm. Her body below the waist is immoveable.
If this is a not a realistic prospect I’d rather know sooner than later as I would not want her to get her hopes up.
I’d appreciate any advice on the topic.
Who is funding her care at the moment ?
Obviously if its self funding she can choose to live where she wants. If its local authority funding then your "local" authority will need to be involved as they will be funding.
Have you researched care homes local to you - they vary massively in quality ?
Do they have vacancies ?
Im sure a private ambulance company could do the actual transfer for you but will no doubt want to approve whoever is chosen
Obviously if its self funding she can choose to live where she wants. If its local authority funding then your "local" authority will need to be involved as they will be funding.
Have you researched care homes local to you - they vary massively in quality ?
Do they have vacancies ?
Im sure a private ambulance company could do the actual transfer for you but will no doubt want to approve whoever is chosen
Hmm Private Ambulance, would that be a dark metallic grey Transit van with no windows ? I think that might give her some doubts about my true intentions. I'll try to get a white one.
She is self funding, I know the care homes local to me as many are clients of my firm & there are regular vacancies especially at this time of year.
It was more about any paperwork that might be needed, care plans, risk assessments etc.
Do her present and future GP's be need to be involved ?
She is self funding, I know the care homes local to me as many are clients of my firm & there are regular vacancies especially at this time of year.
It was more about any paperwork that might be needed, care plans, risk assessments etc.
Do her present and future GP's be need to be involved ?
How long has she been confined to bed OP?
I've just lost my Dad to Alzheimer's. He went into a care home first in a residential capacity where he was able to shuffle about on a Zimmer frame for about 9 months as his condition worsened. After a couple of night-time falls his condition worsened, he became bed bound and then muscle atrophy set it.
Once that started it was a 9 month decline until he was a bag of bones, lost the ability to swallow, basically faded away until he passed 3 weeks ago.
In short, how long do you realistically think she has left? What do the Doctors say? It might be best for her to leave her where she is.
(Apologies if stating the obvious)
ETA: is she happy with the care she is getting where she is? That makes a massive difference. When I was viewing care homes for my Dad I saw some absolute horrors, places I wouldn't send my worst enemy. If she is happy where she is and getting good care then I would be inclined to leave her there. My Dad received amazing care, but it was all down to the lovely staff at this one particular place I got him into. I didn't have the same vibe about other places I viewed.
I've just lost my Dad to Alzheimer's. He went into a care home first in a residential capacity where he was able to shuffle about on a Zimmer frame for about 9 months as his condition worsened. After a couple of night-time falls his condition worsened, he became bed bound and then muscle atrophy set it.
Once that started it was a 9 month decline until he was a bag of bones, lost the ability to swallow, basically faded away until he passed 3 weeks ago.
In short, how long do you realistically think she has left? What do the Doctors say? It might be best for her to leave her where she is.
(Apologies if stating the obvious)
ETA: is she happy with the care she is getting where she is? That makes a massive difference. When I was viewing care homes for my Dad I saw some absolute horrors, places I wouldn't send my worst enemy. If she is happy where she is and getting good care then I would be inclined to leave her there. My Dad received amazing care, but it was all down to the lovely staff at this one particular place I got him into. I didn't have the same vibe about other places I viewed.
Edited by Shooter McGavin on Thursday 28th November 15:39
She has been confined to bed since October 2019, there has been a gradual decline, but I do not think the end is on the near horizon, she was 85 in August. She moved to the current nursing home in Dec 2023 together with my recently deceased uncle.
They seldom have any visitors, just a former neighbour who was more friendly with my uncle than my aunt, so he may not go as often.
Moving her closer to me, which would be in her home town would make it far easier all round, although all her old friends have now died or moved away, but my wife could nip in for a quick visit when shopping etc.
They seldom have any visitors, just a former neighbour who was more friendly with my uncle than my aunt, so he may not go as often.
Moving her closer to me, which would be in her home town would make it far easier all round, although all her old friends have now died or moved away, but my wife could nip in for a quick visit when shopping etc.
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