Not sure what to do next

[Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce]

No financial constraints, no debt, minimal outgoings. I was made redundant recently after over a decade in a high-stress industry. I don’t feel any motivation to go back into it.

I’ve been spending my time focusing on my health, exercising, reading, and generally living a quiet, simple life. On paper, it sounds ideal, but I can’t shake this feeling of being lost/empty.

I know I’ll need to find something new eventually, but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move.

Thanks

[Countdown]

What do you WANT to do with your time and have you got enough money to do it?

[Speed Badger]

I think the answer to this is, and always has been...MX-5?

[DickyC]

Become an active member of whatever club or society you belong to.

[Mr E]

Redundant 5 months ago. I’m looking, but I’m not pressuring myself to take any job.

Might be nice to actually get offered one at some point.

[Douglas Quaid]

Get a girlfriend.

[loskie]

Do some volunteering

[Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce]

I don't know how to quote multiple posts, so...

Countdown - What I want to do and my need for a purpose seem to be different things. That's what I'm struggling with. I think it could be a mental thing rather than what I'm actually filling my day with. Who knows.

Speed Badger - Funnily enough, I have been looking at MX-5s recently

DickyC - Thanks for this, good suggestion. I've recently joined a few sports clubs, so that's a good opportunity.

Mr E - Good luck with your search!

Douglas Quaid - I have a partner. She's wonderful and doesn't need replacing anytime soon.

loskie - Another good suggestion, thanks. I'll look into this.

[Badda]

There’s been a definite uptick in these sorts of posts recently.

As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.

[Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce]

Badda said:

There’s been a definite uptick in these sorts of posts recently.

As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.

Per my first post:

"but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move."

[Chauffard]

Classic First World Problem, as the shantytown woman gives birth to her 10th kid and wonders how she will feed the rest of her family, she realises she should put aside more time to contemplate whether she is more lost than empty.

[Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce]

Chauffard said:

Classic First World Problem

Absolutely.

[Badda]

Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce said:

Badda said:

There’s been a definite uptick in these sorts of posts recently.

As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.

Per my first post:

"but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move."

Yes I read it. You want someone else to tell you how to live.

[Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce]

Badda said:

Yes I read it. You want someone else to tell you how to live.

Yep, spot on.

[phazed]

As per the MX-5 suggestion but get a Boxster, any one and go and rip up the roads in Wales for a quick injection, (this is a car forum!).. If you have a great partner and she enjoys that, you will have a great time. Come back, look at what you really want to do and do it. Have children, they fill up your time! I have four, see them all socially as well as help each other out. For me, it’s Track Days and car preparation to fill my time. I had my own little business which filled the time more than you can imagine but I was always looking forward to what I could do in my spare time. If you don’t feel this way, then you probably need a bit of head work!

You only have one life, pick the things that you want to do and go and do it FFS.

[Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce]

phazed said:

As per the MX-5 suggestion but get a Boxster, any one and go and rip up the roads in Wales for a quick injection, (this is a car forum!).. If you have a great partner and she enjoys that, you will have a great time. Come back, look at what you really want to do and do it. Have children, they fill up your time! I have four, see them all socially as well as help each other out. For me, it’s Track Days and car preparation to fill my time. I had my own little business which filled the time more than you can imagine but I was always looking forward to what I could do in my spare time. If you don’t feel this way, then you probably need a bit of head work!

You only have one life, pick the things that you want to do and go and do it FFS.

Hi Phazed. We can't have kids, but that would certainly give me the purpose I am looking for. Oh well. Anyway, I think the point I was trying to get across is interests vs purpose. I have plenty of interests and hobbies, but after over a decade of working 14+ hour days in the city, I am struggling to fill that mental hole, despite filling my day with activities and such. Maybe I am not expressing myself correctly, or maybe I'm nuts. To put it frankly, I didn't expect to find myself in this position in my 30's.

Edited by Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce on Friday 22 November 19:35

Edited by Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce on Friday 22 November 20:03

[Dog Biscuit]

I'd guess the biggest factor that's affecting you is the transition from a high stress job to having all the time in the world.

Things come along when yiu least expect. Maybe for now take things steady

Enjoy catching up on a few home jobs, maybe take up fitness and exercise and look after yourself for a bit?

The high stress, long hours take their toll.

After Christmas perhaps start by writing a list of things that you want to achieve and go from there

Steady as she goes for now id say

[kevinon]

What strikes me is that working v long days in a stressy job may have obscured your inner life / purpose.

You may even have developed a 'mask' or 'persona' to engage with that world. I know I would. And I know others who do that. I'm a coach and psychotherapist in training, so I love all these questions.

Drop a message if you'd like to chat

[Forester1965]

Experiment with drugs.

[White-Noise]

You need to understand what you want and what will give you that feeling. Maslow hierarchy of needs may help you understand yourself better. A good place to start is what did you always want to do as a kid? We often forget these things.

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html




This being ph though you need a convertible and a fancy new watch.