Not sure what to do next
Discussion
No financial constraints, no debt, minimal outgoings. I was made redundant recently after over a decade in a high-stress industry. I don’t feel any motivation to go back into it.
I’ve been spending my time focusing on my health, exercising, reading, and generally living a quiet, simple life. On paper, it sounds ideal, but I can’t shake this feeling of being lost/empty.
I know I’ll need to find something new eventually, but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move.
Thanks
I’ve been spending my time focusing on my health, exercising, reading, and generally living a quiet, simple life. On paper, it sounds ideal, but I can’t shake this feeling of being lost/empty.
I know I’ll need to find something new eventually, but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move.
Thanks
I don't know how to quote multiple posts, so...
Countdown - What I want to do and my need for a purpose seem to be different things. That's what I'm struggling with. I think it could be a mental thing rather than what I'm actually filling my day with. Who knows.
Speed Badger - Funnily enough, I have been looking at MX-5s recently
DickyC - Thanks for this, good suggestion. I've recently joined a few sports clubs, so that's a good opportunity.
Mr E - Good luck with your search!
Douglas Quaid - I have a partner. She's wonderful and doesn't need replacing anytime soon.
loskie - Another good suggestion, thanks. I'll look into this.
Countdown - What I want to do and my need for a purpose seem to be different things. That's what I'm struggling with. I think it could be a mental thing rather than what I'm actually filling my day with. Who knows.
Speed Badger - Funnily enough, I have been looking at MX-5s recently
DickyC - Thanks for this, good suggestion. I've recently joined a few sports clubs, so that's a good opportunity.
Mr E - Good luck with your search!
Douglas Quaid - I have a partner. She's wonderful and doesn't need replacing anytime soon.
loskie - Another good suggestion, thanks. I'll look into this.
Badda said:
There’s been a definite uptick in these sorts of posts recently.
As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.
Per my first post:As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.
"but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move."
Cheese on Toast with Worcestershire Sauce said:
Badda said:
There’s been a definite uptick in these sorts of posts recently.
As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.
Per my first post:As an adult, if you’ve not found something on this planet that interests you then a stranger is unlikely to be able to help.
"but I’m more interested in how others in a similar position figured out their next move."
As per the MX-5 suggestion but get a Boxster, any one and go and rip up the roads in Wales for a quick injection, (this is a car forum!).. If you have a great partner and she enjoys that, you will have a great time. Come back, look at what you really want to do and do it. Have children, they fill up your time! I have four, see them all socially as well as help each other out. For me, it’s Track Days and car preparation to fill my time. I had my own little business which filled the time more than you can imagine but I was always looking forward to what I could do in my spare time. If you don’t feel this way, then you probably need a bit of head work!
You only have one life, pick the things that you want to do and go and do it FFS.
You only have one life, pick the things that you want to do and go and do it FFS.
phazed said:
As per the MX-5 suggestion but get a Boxster, any one and go and rip up the roads in Wales for a quick injection, (this is a car forum!).. If you have a great partner and she enjoys that, you will have a great time. Come back, look at what you really want to do and do it. Have children, they fill up your time! I have four, see them all socially as well as help each other out. For me, it’s Track Days and car preparation to fill my time. I had my own little business which filled the time more than you can imagine but I was always looking forward to what I could do in my spare time. If you don’t feel this way, then you probably need a bit of head work!
You only have one life, pick the things that you want to do and go and do it FFS.
Hi Phazed. We can't have kids, but that would certainly give me the purpose I am looking for. Oh well. Anyway, I think the point I was trying to get across is interests vs purpose. I have plenty of interests and hobbies, but after over a decade of working 14+ hour days in the city, I am struggling to fill that mental hole, despite filling my day with activities and such. Maybe I am not expressing myself correctly, or maybe I'm nuts. To put it frankly, I didn't expect to find myself in this position in my 30's. You only have one life, pick the things that you want to do and go and do it FFS.
Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 22 November 19:35
Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 22 November 20:03
I'd guess the biggest factor that's affecting you is the transition from a high stress job to having all the time in the world.
Things come along when yiu least expect. Maybe for now take things steady
Enjoy catching up on a few home jobs, maybe take up fitness and exercise and look after yourself for a bit?
The high stress, long hours take their toll.
After Christmas perhaps start by writing a list of things that you want to achieve and go from there
Steady as she goes for now id say
Things come along when yiu least expect. Maybe for now take things steady
Enjoy catching up on a few home jobs, maybe take up fitness and exercise and look after yourself for a bit?
The high stress, long hours take their toll.
After Christmas perhaps start by writing a list of things that you want to achieve and go from there
Steady as she goes for now id say
What strikes me is that working v long days in a stressy job may have obscured your inner life / purpose.
You may even have developed a 'mask' or 'persona' to engage with that world. I know I would. And I know others who do that. I'm a coach and psychotherapist in training, so I love all these questions.
Drop a message if you'd like to chat
You may even have developed a 'mask' or 'persona' to engage with that world. I know I would. And I know others who do that. I'm a coach and psychotherapist in training, so I love all these questions.
Drop a message if you'd like to chat
You need to understand what you want and what will give you that feeling. Maslow hierarchy of needs may help you understand yourself better. A good place to start is what did you always want to do as a kid? We often forget these things.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
This being ph though you need a convertible and a fancy new watch.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
This being ph though you need a convertible and a fancy new watch.
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