Crippling anxiety - any emergency services/armed forces?
Discussion
I had a traumatic incident at work. I'm now at the start of month two off sick.
I absolutely hate it. I've tried to make it positive by doing things that I stopped doing during Covid or doing them more whilst off taking the opportunity of time available however rather than relishing the free time to do my hobbies I'm going through the motions , almost like doing a job. No passion. No fun.
I keep having sudden points where I feel disorientated, short of breath where I have to keep taking deep breaths. It then passes. My heart rate states static. No erratic movement.
Every time there's even a hint of stress my anxiety peaks.
I've got counselling through work but I don't seem to be moving forward. I also have a horrible feeling that I don't want to return back to work, ever. Which frightens me. I can't even imagine doing any other job. I love my job.
I have no feelings of self harm but the anxiety is crippling. Why am I not getting better, it's been a month already.
I've gone from being hyper normally to someone who can sit on a sofa or go back to bed.
The Doc first gave me Propranolol then Busiprone but I've not taken either. I should but which? I don't want bad side effects to add to everything else.
Has anyone been here?
(I'm a regular PHer but don't want or need calling out please).
I absolutely hate it. I've tried to make it positive by doing things that I stopped doing during Covid or doing them more whilst off taking the opportunity of time available however rather than relishing the free time to do my hobbies I'm going through the motions , almost like doing a job. No passion. No fun.
I keep having sudden points where I feel disorientated, short of breath where I have to keep taking deep breaths. It then passes. My heart rate states static. No erratic movement.
Every time there's even a hint of stress my anxiety peaks.
I've got counselling through work but I don't seem to be moving forward. I also have a horrible feeling that I don't want to return back to work, ever. Which frightens me. I can't even imagine doing any other job. I love my job.
I have no feelings of self harm but the anxiety is crippling. Why am I not getting better, it's been a month already.
I've gone from being hyper normally to someone who can sit on a sofa or go back to bed.
The Doc first gave me Propranolol then Busiprone but I've not taken either. I should but which? I don't want bad side effects to add to everything else.
Has anyone been here?
(I'm a regular PHer but don't want or need calling out please).
Yes been there done that as they say, yes do take the meds, it will give you a degree of relief and enough to maybe think a bit clearer, I also took citalopram which also helped. The thing with anxiety is not to fight it, allow yourself to become used to it and how it makes you feel, at first I thought this was bonkers but it actually works, check out the Anxiety Guy on YouTube he will explain everything, everything that you are feeling is perfectly normal, the fight or flight response has kept up alive for thousands of years! Of course practical things like exercise mindfulness and diet will help hugely too.
Have you considered meditation? It won't be the answer to everything but it may help.
When I was highly stressed then I found this helped. It is more difficult than it sounds. The aim is to breathe in a relaxed manner (slow deep breaths and slow exhalation), concentrating 100% only on the breathing. The challenge is to focus only on your breathing and not think about anything else, just in that moment.
Think of an image of a relaxing scenery e.g. you are alone on a sandy beach with untouched sand, no footprints, just yourself sitting there, you hear the whooshing of the waves as they come in and out, you smell the sea air and seaweed. You use your imagination for sight, smell and sound to get yourself in that environment.
Once I get into this zone then I am able to draw my mind away from my body as if I am outside of my body and my mind detaches itself from the body.
This takes practice but working at it you can just take small steps to get better at it each time. Don't worry about it not working straight away just take small steps in making progress each time. Be pleased with yourself as you get more practice with it rather than focus on having achieved an end goal.
When I was highly stressed then I found this helped. It is more difficult than it sounds. The aim is to breathe in a relaxed manner (slow deep breaths and slow exhalation), concentrating 100% only on the breathing. The challenge is to focus only on your breathing and not think about anything else, just in that moment.
Think of an image of a relaxing scenery e.g. you are alone on a sandy beach with untouched sand, no footprints, just yourself sitting there, you hear the whooshing of the waves as they come in and out, you smell the sea air and seaweed. You use your imagination for sight, smell and sound to get yourself in that environment.
Once I get into this zone then I am able to draw my mind away from my body as if I am outside of my body and my mind detaches itself from the body.
This takes practice but working at it you can just take small steps to get better at it each time. Don't worry about it not working straight away just take small steps in making progress each time. Be pleased with yourself as you get more practice with it rather than focus on having achieved an end goal.
Sorry to hear about your situation OP.
My read is this:
You’ve been through something clearly very bad at work. It’s not unreasonable for it to have affected you this way.
You have been away from work for less than two months. Actually, you’re doing great for being in as good a place as you are right now as these things take time.
I would say you should worry yourself less about work (whether this job, the same role somewhere else or some other version of work). That needs to wait. Don’t rush yourself back to anything and take your time.
Therapy, medication and being kind to yourself are the most important things.
Therapy is highly individual- what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another - give it a shot but be prepared to try something different.
Medication can allow you to have a breathing space to permit the therapy to work. Again, not all medications are equal - work with your GP (or find one you can work with).
Kindness to yourself - I’ve known people return to work after 6 months away and they’re thriving because they had time and were kind to themselves about getting better. Please allow yourself the permission to accept you’re not where you want to be and accept it will take time to move forwards.
You’ll be ok.
My read is this:
You’ve been through something clearly very bad at work. It’s not unreasonable for it to have affected you this way.
You have been away from work for less than two months. Actually, you’re doing great for being in as good a place as you are right now as these things take time.
I would say you should worry yourself less about work (whether this job, the same role somewhere else or some other version of work). That needs to wait. Don’t rush yourself back to anything and take your time.
Therapy, medication and being kind to yourself are the most important things.
Therapy is highly individual- what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another - give it a shot but be prepared to try something different.
Medication can allow you to have a breathing space to permit the therapy to work. Again, not all medications are equal - work with your GP (or find one you can work with).
Kindness to yourself - I’ve known people return to work after 6 months away and they’re thriving because they had time and were kind to themselves about getting better. Please allow yourself the permission to accept you’re not where you want to be and accept it will take time to move forwards.
You’ll be ok.
Ex military here. I suffered a panic attack in a very difficult situation whilst at work; I was sent on leave but cared for extremely well, I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed that the panic attack was the culmination of a period of intense stress that had caused my already anxious personality to go into overdrive. Interestingly (at least to me!) I had never been aware that I was naturally anxious but the realisation that I was suddenly made sense of a lot of things in my life.
I was prescribed medication (it was some time ago so I don't remember what it was) and also given a programme of CBT all of which helped a lot. As time progressed I was gradually reintroduced to the environment that caused the panic attack. With very sympathetic colleagues I was asked, during the process, to rate my anxiety level and pause when anxiety increased too much until I was back in control then we continued, a process that took place over some weeks. To control my anxiety during this I was taught to concentrate absolutely on one thing near me, which may have been something like the markings on a piece of equipment, noting any marks that may be on it, any text, what font the text is, any numbers etc, etc, every tiny detail; by doing that I had effectively taken my mind out of the anxiety inducing situation and thereby caused the anxiety to diminish and allow me to carry on. This technique can also be used in daily life when anxiety is building but you have to work at it, it's very easy for the mind to stop concentrating and return to the anxious thoughts. I was also taught to think about a day that I really enjoyed in minute detail - try to think of every single aspect of the day from the moment you opened your eyes. Hopefully by breakfast the anxiety will have eased!
I'm sure you will have been told that anxiety feeds on itself, as you feel anxious you worry, as you worry you become more anxious and so on until, in my case, a full blown panic attack. You will also probably have been told about 'the bucket'. The theory being that we all have a certain capacity for stress or anxiety and as the level increases the bucket tops up until it's full and we can no longer cope. It is important to realise that many things can cause increased stress/anxiety and top 'the bucket' up; these things are not only the original stressful situation but add in things like money worries, pain, discomfort, noise, relationship issues... the list goes on but I'm sure you get the idea. Having understood that it is clear that removing or minimising any of these, even things that are extremely minor, will have the effect of lowering the level in 'the bucket'.
Something else I have found very useful are mindful apps - Headspace is very good as is Calm (although quite American!).
It is important to understand that you can and, I'm sure, will get through this but, in the words of the 'trick cyclists', your brain has encountered negative programming from the stressful situation and you now have to reverse that programming to be able to get back into that environment. It will take time and effort but, from my experience, when you do achieve it life becomes so much easier. As I said, I had no idea that I was prone to anxiety but, now I've learnt about it, I am able to recognise the onset and do something about it before it takes over. If nothing else my wife says I'm a lot easier to live with!
As a footnote, I retired from the military in 2019 after 31 years and, amongst other things, I'm now a Mental Health First Aid Trainer.
I wish you all the best.
I was prescribed medication (it was some time ago so I don't remember what it was) and also given a programme of CBT all of which helped a lot. As time progressed I was gradually reintroduced to the environment that caused the panic attack. With very sympathetic colleagues I was asked, during the process, to rate my anxiety level and pause when anxiety increased too much until I was back in control then we continued, a process that took place over some weeks. To control my anxiety during this I was taught to concentrate absolutely on one thing near me, which may have been something like the markings on a piece of equipment, noting any marks that may be on it, any text, what font the text is, any numbers etc, etc, every tiny detail; by doing that I had effectively taken my mind out of the anxiety inducing situation and thereby caused the anxiety to diminish and allow me to carry on. This technique can also be used in daily life when anxiety is building but you have to work at it, it's very easy for the mind to stop concentrating and return to the anxious thoughts. I was also taught to think about a day that I really enjoyed in minute detail - try to think of every single aspect of the day from the moment you opened your eyes. Hopefully by breakfast the anxiety will have eased!
I'm sure you will have been told that anxiety feeds on itself, as you feel anxious you worry, as you worry you become more anxious and so on until, in my case, a full blown panic attack. You will also probably have been told about 'the bucket'. The theory being that we all have a certain capacity for stress or anxiety and as the level increases the bucket tops up until it's full and we can no longer cope. It is important to realise that many things can cause increased stress/anxiety and top 'the bucket' up; these things are not only the original stressful situation but add in things like money worries, pain, discomfort, noise, relationship issues... the list goes on but I'm sure you get the idea. Having understood that it is clear that removing or minimising any of these, even things that are extremely minor, will have the effect of lowering the level in 'the bucket'.
Something else I have found very useful are mindful apps - Headspace is very good as is Calm (although quite American!).
It is important to understand that you can and, I'm sure, will get through this but, in the words of the 'trick cyclists', your brain has encountered negative programming from the stressful situation and you now have to reverse that programming to be able to get back into that environment. It will take time and effort but, from my experience, when you do achieve it life becomes so much easier. As I said, I had no idea that I was prone to anxiety but, now I've learnt about it, I am able to recognise the onset and do something about it before it takes over. If nothing else my wife says I'm a lot easier to live with!
As a footnote, I retired from the military in 2019 after 31 years and, amongst other things, I'm now a Mental Health First Aid Trainer.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you.
I was laying awake at 3am this morning and read about a recent murder.
I had a sudden feeling of self doubt. I've not any self doubt in the past 4 weeks but it was intense. What if I went back and forgot/didn't know what to do? Have I lost it.
I had a panic attack- I went back to work two days after the incident. I was walking round a huge shopping centre, I never go in these places usually but thought I'd get in/get what I need and get out. As I walked in I was surprised by how busy it was. I suddenly became very short of breath, as though I needed a paperbag (at that moment I fully understood why one is used now). I really struggled on the spot and had to breath rapidly and deeply.
I'd gone from a very confident, self assured person (with hidden anxiety about what people felt about my performance) who was respected at work to someone who was a liability.
I'm on a voyage of self discovery. I'm very good at welfare for my staff. I deeply cared about their wellbeing and their future. But one thing I discovered- I completely forgot how good I am when it comes to myself.
American or not if it works- I'm in!
I was laying awake at 3am this morning and read about a recent murder.
I had a sudden feeling of self doubt. I've not any self doubt in the past 4 weeks but it was intense. What if I went back and forgot/didn't know what to do? Have I lost it.
I had a panic attack- I went back to work two days after the incident. I was walking round a huge shopping centre, I never go in these places usually but thought I'd get in/get what I need and get out. As I walked in I was surprised by how busy it was. I suddenly became very short of breath, as though I needed a paperbag (at that moment I fully understood why one is used now). I really struggled on the spot and had to breath rapidly and deeply.
I'd gone from a very confident, self assured person (with hidden anxiety about what people felt about my performance) who was respected at work to someone who was a liability.
I'm on a voyage of self discovery. I'm very good at welfare for my staff. I deeply cared about their wellbeing and their future. But one thing I discovered- I completely forgot how good I am when it comes to myself.
American or not if it works- I'm in!
Edited by Newestme on Saturday 10th August 10:59
It will get better, but it will take time. The doc was right to not give you Valium - you can’t take it long term as it’s highly addictive and the last thing you need is withdrawals from that. It’s hell from what I’ve been told.
Stick with the meds you have been given, there might be some mild side effects but these only usually last a few weeks at most.
I’ve been on anti depressents for years, I’ve accepted that I need them and they have helped me a lot.
Stick with the meds you have been given, there might be some mild side effects but these only usually last a few weeks at most.
I’ve been on anti depressents for years, I’ve accepted that I need them and they have helped me a lot.
markiii said:
stick with it, the first week side effects (if you get them) with sertraline may put you off. But its worth sticking with, it does get better
I have just had mine upped from 50 to 100mg as I felt like they weren’t working any more. Loads of anxiety and quite a few intrusive thoughts over recent weeks. There’s a lot going on that’s out of my control contributing to the anxiety but I guess a lot of it is due to 27 years of dealing with negative stuff in my job. Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff