Haphephobia, I don't like being touched
Discussion
Not the worst thing in the world, but why the feck do people want to touch you all the time. I get anxious when people are closer than a metre from me and sure as eggs are eggs once inside that space suddenly out comes the hand for a little social touch.
It takes all my will power in the moment not to hit them very very hard,as hard as I possibly can and then secondly not to tell them to feck off. I mean really belittle them as inconsequential s
ts as I tell them to feck off.
I have a hospital appointment in a couple days time to see if a metal plate can be removed. I am dreading it, for sure the doctors will want a good feel. I will say up front about my phobia but will still be fighting the urge to lash out every time they get near my body
As I said I could have many other threatening conditions that would make this a mere trifle but living with the constant causes of this phobia and then people touching you awful.
I know some people are touchy feely but have a thought about the recipients of your touches. Twice I have had to ask work colleagues not to touch me, just why do it?
Thanks for letting me share, anyone else suffer?
It takes all my will power in the moment not to hit them very very hard,as hard as I possibly can and then secondly not to tell them to feck off. I mean really belittle them as inconsequential s
ts as I tell them to feck off.I have a hospital appointment in a couple days time to see if a metal plate can be removed. I am dreading it, for sure the doctors will want a good feel. I will say up front about my phobia but will still be fighting the urge to lash out every time they get near my body
As I said I could have many other threatening conditions that would make this a mere trifle but living with the constant causes of this phobia and then people touching you awful.
I know some people are touchy feely but have a thought about the recipients of your touches. Twice I have had to ask work colleagues not to touch me, just why do it?
Thanks for letting me share, anyone else suffer?
Between what you’ve written here and this, I fear for your family.
“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
Ken_Code said:
Between what you’ve written here and this, I fear for your family.
“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
Huh?“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
I get it OP - perhaps not to the point of smashing someone's face in, but an involuntary fight or flight reaction when someone outside of my immediate family does the touchy feely thing.
It's usually at work, and it's about the person demonstrating or trying to assert their authority over you. Upper arm touch? I'm your superior, your parent figure, your mentor, you're mine, here I am caring for you and showing you I'm your protector. They're pricks for it, to a man (or woman [/reg]).
Because it's unwanted, unnecessary, intrusive and done by someone trying to show they're a bigger fish than you are, sometimes I do react with a flinch that could almost be the start of violent retaliation - it's not supposed to be, it's involuntary - but it don't half shock them.
In the case of my immediate manager, he knows I don't like it but seems to feel the need to do it every so often, usually when he thinks I've overstepped my mark by telling him where he's fked up. He's a prick too though 
Common technique chatting girls up too. I've never felt like it's anyone chatting me up, happily
It's usually at work, and it's about the person demonstrating or trying to assert their authority over you. Upper arm touch? I'm your superior, your parent figure, your mentor, you're mine, here I am caring for you and showing you I'm your protector. They're pricks for it, to a man (or woman [/reg]).
Because it's unwanted, unnecessary, intrusive and done by someone trying to show they're a bigger fish than you are, sometimes I do react with a flinch that could almost be the start of violent retaliation - it's not supposed to be, it's involuntary - but it don't half shock them.
In the case of my immediate manager, he knows I don't like it but seems to feel the need to do it every so often, usually when he thinks I've overstepped my mark by telling him where he's f
ked up. He's a prick too though Common technique chatting girls up too. I've never felt like it's anyone chatting me up, happily
zarjaz1991 said:
Ken_Code said:
Between what you’ve written here and this, I fear for your family.
“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
Huh?“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
KAgantua said:
zarjaz1991 said:
Ken_Code said:
Between what you’ve written here and this, I fear for your family.
“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
Huh?“ Doesn't matter the slight.
Doesn't matter the money.
How do you currently get even?
I start this believing that in the moment "getting even" sometimes doesn't over many years. I start this also believing solving something is much better than arriving at "getting even".
Do you "knock them out".
Do you secretly cause them some "personal property/financial harm" without the recipient knowing that is was you?
Do you "follow the law" and if that doesn't work out how you think it should, you think it is complicated shrug your shoulders?
For me when I was young I followed the Clarkson mantra "hit it with a hammer".
Sometimes a hammer breaks things.”
It is a real, you are not making it up.
Tell your doctors etc, they deal with it, they know what to do, why won't touch you unless they need to, they won't get student nurses in to touch, prod and feel.
There are also drugs they can give you to reduce this, again, talk to them.
I don't think you were really in a fit place to argue when they inserted the plate, sounds like you are healing, long may that continue!
Tell your doctors etc, they deal with it, they know what to do, why won't touch you unless they need to, they won't get student nurses in to touch, prod and feel.
There are also drugs they can give you to reduce this, again, talk to them.
I don't think you were really in a fit place to argue when they inserted the plate, sounds like you are healing, long may that continue!
summit7 said:
Not the worst thing in the world, but why the feck do people want to touch you all the time. I get anxious when people are closer than a metre from me and sure as eggs are eggs once inside that space suddenly out comes the hand for a little social touch.
It takes all my will power in the moment not to hit them very very hard,as hard as I possibly can and then secondly not to tell them to feck off. I mean really belittle them as inconsequential sts as I tell them to feck off.
I have a hospital appointment in a couple days time to see if a metal plate can be removed. I am dreading it, for sure the doctors will want a good feel. I will say up front about my phobia but will still be fighting the urge to lash out every time they get near my body
As I said I could have many other threatening conditions that would make this a mere trifle but living with the constant causes of this phobia and then people touching you awful.
I know some people are touchy feely but have a thought about the recipients of your touches. Twice I have had to ask work colleagues not to touch me, just why do it?
Thanks for letting me share, anyone else suffer?
i am the same. I am quite happy to tell people I don't like to be touched/hugged etc. It takes all my will power in the moment not to hit them very very hard,as hard as I possibly can and then secondly not to tell them to feck off. I mean really belittle them as inconsequential s
ts as I tell them to feck off.I have a hospital appointment in a couple days time to see if a metal plate can be removed. I am dreading it, for sure the doctors will want a good feel. I will say up front about my phobia but will still be fighting the urge to lash out every time they get near my body
As I said I could have many other threatening conditions that would make this a mere trifle but living with the constant causes of this phobia and then people touching you awful.
I know some people are touchy feely but have a thought about the recipients of your touches. Twice I have had to ask work colleagues not to touch me, just why do it?
Thanks for letting me share, anyone else suffer?
Colleagues / friends / family all know not to hug me.
I will give a high five occasionally.
Yes i hug my children and partner. Its mainly the feeling of my space being invaded that I don't like.
My other half is a very touchy/feely type so when we host people at our house, they will be the one to open the door and do greetings. I stand back with drinks / nibbles as then my arms are full and I no one can hug me anyway
ETA - i also avoid any type of appointment which involves touch unless I really have to.
I will put off getting my hair cut for example and eye appointments are even worse as they have to be really close to my face, but luckily i can manage with one of those every 2 years.
Edited by Nemophilist on Wednesday 26th June 10:19
jdw100 said:
Douglas Quaid said:
What about sex? Do you like having your cock and balls touched?
Are you making him an offer?What happened to getting to know the other person first, maybe dinner, before jumping straight to cock and balls.
TGCOTF-dewey said:
Modern dating has left me behind... Tinder has a lot to answer for.
What happened to getting to know the other person first, maybe dinner, before jumping straight to cock and balls.
I believe that the prevalence of men pretending to be women may be behind people wanting to check first.What happened to getting to know the other person first, maybe dinner, before jumping straight to cock and balls.
I don't like it either. I've given up shaking hands. I hate when the person next to me on the train can't stay in their seat and keeps prodding me with an elbow.
Our MD once took a supplier rep to one side and told her to stop poking me. She did that arm-touching thing to punctuate conversations.
Our MD once took a supplier rep to one side and told her to stop poking me. She did that arm-touching thing to punctuate conversations.
TGCOTF-dewey said:
jdw100 said:
Douglas Quaid said:
What about sex? Do you like having your cock and balls touched?
Are you making him an offer?What happened to getting to know the other person first, maybe dinner, before jumping straight to cock and balls.
I thought that was a pretty bold move on your part, getting straight in there. My mistake.
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