Anger Management
Discussion
I'm asking for the experiences of people who have personally made some progress in getting a grip on their anger.
It doesn't take much for me to get enraged if something has pissed me off (normally something lots of people would regard as trivial) I'll be angry for days. It's a problem.
Has anyone been like this and got better?
It doesn't take much for me to get enraged if something has pissed me off (normally something lots of people would regard as trivial) I'll be angry for days. It's a problem.
Has anyone been like this and got better?
Hoofy said:
Not had the issue myself but try mindfulness.
10 minutes.
Every day.
For a month.
Report back.
Most people manage 2 minutes then think it doesn't work. I tried the gym for 2 minutes and disappointed I didn't double my bicep size.
FFS MATE I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR REPLIES FROM PEOPLE WHO HAD PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF THE PROBLEM. 10 minutes.
Every day.
For a month.
Report back.
Most people manage 2 minutes then think it doesn't work. I tried the gym for 2 minutes and disappointed I didn't double my bicep size.
TGCOTF-dewey said:
Try posting in NP&E... Lots of anger there.
A link to a post I made in NPE, from someone who has a rather volcanic temper and is a very emotional person....but who has chosen to keep the genie in the bottle rather than chosen to release it over the last several years. Don't put yourself in positions where you are likely to be triggered. Make positivity and kindness the point you embark from rather than a final destination, you soon realise its a really nice place to be and don't want to leave in the first place. And when you do f
k up, because you will, make amends quickly. Always remember one kind or good act is better than innumerable kind or good intentions. Judge yourself on your actions, not your words. https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Anger is a symptom caused by something else, I would suggest you go talk to someone as they will help you discover what that is, that alongside practising mindfulness and changing the way you do things will help you.
A professional will also be well versed in the correct coping strategies and will explain how to do them correctly, such as breathing exercises and the afore mentioned mindfulness or meditation, find out what the route cause is and go from there.
I'd say it's not about keeping the genie in a bottle as Biggbn mentioned (I'm not having a dig there Biggbn) but removing it from the equation, we are all a product of our experiences and environment and most of those cannot be erased but we can accept them and forgive ourselves (often we are punishing ourselves without realising it)
To know that you are enough is to know peace.
A professional will also be well versed in the correct coping strategies and will explain how to do them correctly, such as breathing exercises and the afore mentioned mindfulness or meditation, find out what the route cause is and go from there.
I'd say it's not about keeping the genie in a bottle as Biggbn mentioned (I'm not having a dig there Biggbn) but removing it from the equation, we are all a product of our experiences and environment and most of those cannot be erased but we can accept them and forgive ourselves (often we are punishing ourselves without realising it)
To know that you are enough is to know peace.
Edited by Wills2 on Sunday 9th June 14:38
Slowboathome said:
Appreciate the replies but I want to hear more from people who've been where I am and have made progress.
There's no shortage of well-meaning advice out there.
My advice is what I now choose to practice man. I was a very reactionary human being who allowed his emotions to drive his actions and had litte respect for anyone else. My changing mindset came about due to the long time support of my partner and daughter and competing a degree course in philosophy, which I suppose is one of the ultimate 'mindfullness' adventures. I analysed why I acted the way I did and it became apparent that I was essentially an unhappy person living various lies, and lying to yourself isn't easy at first, but once you have bought your own bullsThere's no shortage of well-meaning advice out there.
t once, believe me you'll buy any old ste you tell yourself. It was never my fault, always someone else's. One of the most profound things I realised is that one of the only true things we have control over in life is how we react to it. And 'emotional' distance gives us reaction time. I slowed down. I made time. I felt genuinely happy, and decided I liked it. When you map out how you feel compared to how you felt, making the right choices becomes laughably easy. I have been arrested because of my temper, lost jobs, friends, limited my options, but now the world is a gift, I can do what I want as long as I take the right decisions and always make happiness my default. Always move towards the light, not the shade. Its hard to find things in the dark, isn't it? Again, that's simple logic.
Man, all the best in your quest, it took me years to become a version of myself I truly like, and not one I had to convince myself daily that I did. And remember, and this is not a negative, it will take time, you will f
k up along the way and even once you think you are 'there'. You're never there, but if you keep moving towards the light by your decisions, it's amazing what you will find. I have jist had two weeks off of my work because of a mental health collapse because the old me surfaced briefly. I now know that he was only 'here' for a few hours, bit his presence has impacted my life in such a negative way that rather than feel bad about it, I now feel validated in my decision to choose positivity. That person will always be part of me, and you have to embrace that, but choose to control it.
Edited by biggbn on Sunday 9th June 15:07
biggbn said:
My advice is what I now choose to practice man. I was a very reactionary human being who allowed his emotions to drive his actions and had litte respect for anyone else. My changing mindset came about due to the long time support of my partner and daughter and competing a degree course in philosophy, which I suppose is one of the ultimate 'mindfullness' adventures. I analysed why I acted the way I did and it became apparent that I was essentially an unhappy person living various lies, and lying to yourself isn't easy at first, but once you have bought your own bullst once, believe me you'll buy any old ste you tell yourself. It was never my fault, always someone else's.
One of the most profound things I realised is that one of the only true things we have control over in life is how we react to it. And 'emotional' distance gives us reaction time. I slowed down. I made time. I felt genuinely happy, and decided I liked it. When you map out how you feel compared to how you felt, making the right choices becomes laughably easy. I have been arrested because of my temper, lost jobs, friends, limited my options, but now the world is a gift, I can do what I want as long as I take the right decisions and always make happiness my default. Always move towards the light, not the shade. Its hard to grind things in the dark, isn't it? Again, that's simple logic.
Man, all the best in your quest, it took me years to become a version of myself I truly like, and not one I had to convince myself daily that I did. And remember, and this is not a negative, it will take time, you will fk up along the way and even once you think you are 'there'. You're never there, but if you keep moving towards the light by your decisions, it's amazing what you will find.
I have jist had two weeks off of my work because of a mental health collapse because the old me surfaced briefly. I now know that he was only 'here' for a few hours, bit his presence has impacted my life in such a negative way that rather than feel bad about it, I now feel validated in my decision to choose positivity. That person will always be part of me, and you have to embrace that, but choose to control it.
Thank you. I'm grateful to you for sharing your story. It helps.t once, believe me you'll buy any old ste you tell yourself. It was never my fault, always someone else's. One of the most profound things I realised is that one of the only true things we have control over in life is how we react to it. And 'emotional' distance gives us reaction time. I slowed down. I made time. I felt genuinely happy, and decided I liked it. When you map out how you feel compared to how you felt, making the right choices becomes laughably easy. I have been arrested because of my temper, lost jobs, friends, limited my options, but now the world is a gift, I can do what I want as long as I take the right decisions and always make happiness my default. Always move towards the light, not the shade. Its hard to grind things in the dark, isn't it? Again, that's simple logic.
Man, all the best in your quest, it took me years to become a version of myself I truly like, and not one I had to convince myself daily that I did. And remember, and this is not a negative, it will take time, you will f
k up along the way and even once you think you are 'there'. You're never there, but if you keep moving towards the light by your decisions, it's amazing what you will find. I have jist had two weeks off of my work because of a mental health collapse because the old me surfaced briefly. I now know that he was only 'here' for a few hours, bit his presence has impacted my life in such a negative way that rather than feel bad about it, I now feel validated in my decision to choose positivity. That person will always be part of me, and you have to embrace that, but choose to control it.
Slowboathome said:
Appreciate the replies but I want to hear more from people who've been where I am and have made progress.
There's no shortage of well-meaning advice out there.
I have hence my reply I think many who have posted will have as well, the advice I gave comes having been there hence I suggest you go talk to a professional, I did and it has helped enormously. There's no shortage of well-meaning advice out there.
I went every week for 12 months best money I've ever spent.
Slowboathome said:
biggbn said:
My advice is what I now choose to practice man. I was a very reactionary human being who allowed his emotions to drive his actions and had litte respect for anyone else. My changing mindset came about due to the long time support of my partner and daughter and competing a degree course in philosophy, which I suppose is one of the ultimate 'mindfullness' adventures. I analysed why I acted the way I did and it became apparent that I was essentially an unhappy person living various lies, and lying to yourself isn't easy at first, but once you have bought your own bullst once, believe me you'll buy any old ste you tell yourself. It was never my fault, always someone else's.
One of the most profound things I realised is that one of the only true things we have control over in life is how we react to it. And 'emotional' distance gives us reaction time. I slowed down. I made time. I felt genuinely happy, and decided I liked it. When you map out how you feel compared to how you felt, making the right choices becomes laughably easy. I have been arrested because of my temper, lost jobs, friends, limited my options, but now the world is a gift, I can do what I want as long as I take the right decisions and always make happiness my default. Always move towards the light, not the shade. Its hard to grind things in the dark, isn't it? Again, that's simple logic.
Man, all the best in your quest, it took me years to become a version of myself I truly like, and not one I had to convince myself daily that I did. And remember, and this is not a negative, it will take time, you will fk up along the way and even once you think you are 'there'. You're never there, but if you keep moving towards the light by your decisions, it's amazing what you will find.
I have jist had two weeks off of my work because of a mental health collapse because the old me surfaced briefly. I now know that he was only 'here' for a few hours, bit his presence has impacted my life in such a negative way that rather than feel bad about it, I now feel validated in my decision to choose positivity. That person will always be part of me, and you have to embrace that, but choose to control it.
Thank you. I'm grateful to you for sharing your story. It helps.t once, believe me you'll buy any old ste you tell yourself. It was never my fault, always someone else's. One of the most profound things I realised is that one of the only true things we have control over in life is how we react to it. And 'emotional' distance gives us reaction time. I slowed down. I made time. I felt genuinely happy, and decided I liked it. When you map out how you feel compared to how you felt, making the right choices becomes laughably easy. I have been arrested because of my temper, lost jobs, friends, limited my options, but now the world is a gift, I can do what I want as long as I take the right decisions and always make happiness my default. Always move towards the light, not the shade. Its hard to grind things in the dark, isn't it? Again, that's simple logic.
Man, all the best in your quest, it took me years to become a version of myself I truly like, and not one I had to convince myself daily that I did. And remember, and this is not a negative, it will take time, you will f
k up along the way and even once you think you are 'there'. You're never there, but if you keep moving towards the light by your decisions, it's amazing what you will find. I have jist had two weeks off of my work because of a mental health collapse because the old me surfaced briefly. I now know that he was only 'here' for a few hours, bit his presence has impacted my life in such a negative way that rather than feel bad about it, I now feel validated in my decision to choose positivity. That person will always be part of me, and you have to embrace that, but choose to control it.
te. Time spent during this activity can also become 'safe mind space', genuine you time FreeLitres said:
OP - Have you checked your blood pressure recently?
When my blood pressure was creeping up (energy drinks, salty snacks, work stress) I got increasingly irritable. Worth checking.
Thanks. I keep an eye on it and I'm on medication. It's where it should be when I'm resting but I suspect it goes up when emotions are running high.When my blood pressure was creeping up (energy drinks, salty snacks, work stress) I got increasingly irritable. Worth checking.
Slowboathome said:
FreeLitres said:
OP - Have you checked your blood pressure recently?
When my blood pressure was creeping up (energy drinks, salty snacks, work stress) I got increasingly irritable. Worth checking.
Thanks. I keep an eye on it and I'm on medication. It's where it should be when I'm resting but I suspect it goes up when emotions are running high.When my blood pressure was creeping up (energy drinks, salty snacks, work stress) I got increasingly irritable. Worth checking.
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