Is this really it? What does your typical week look like?

[Megaflow]

As I have said in other post, I am trying to understand just what is going on inside my head after a really bad weekend. I'd like to see what a typical week looks like for other people. Here's mine:

Monday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Tuesday - Work in the office, dinner and TV
Wednesday - Work in the office, gym, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a parish council meeting.
Thursday - Work in the office, food shopping, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a motor racing club meeting, Bourne Motor Racing Club.
Friday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Saturday / Sunday - An occasional day out somewhere, fishing (not as much as I should, but we won't go into that here), food & drink with friends, jobs around the house, clean the pond pump, mow the lawn, wash the cars, cleaning, iron, etc.

ETA: the title should say "Is this really it?"

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 10:31

[Mr Pointy]

Sadly yes, if you live on your own that's about all there is to life.

[blue_haddock]

Megaflow said:

As I have said in other post, I am trying to understand just what is going on inside my head after a really bad weekend. I'd like to see what a typical week looks like for other people. Here's mine:

Monday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Tuesday - Work in the office, dinner and TV
Wednesday - Work in the office, gym, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a parish council meeting.
Thursday - Work in the office, food shopping, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a motor racing club meeting, Bourne Motor Racing Club.
Friday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Saturday / Sunday - An occasional day out somewhere, fishing (not as much as I should, but we won't go into that here), food & drink with friends, jobs around the house, clean the pond pump, mow the lawn, wash the cars, cleaning, iron, etc.

ETA: the title should say "Is this really it?"

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 10:31

Welcome to suburbia!

[Slowboathome]

Megaflow said:

As I have said in other post, I am trying to understand just what is going on inside my head after a really bad weekend. I'd like to see what a typical week looks like for other people. Here's mine:

Monday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Tuesday - Work in the office, dinner and TV
Wednesday - Work in the office, gym, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a parish council meeting.
Thursday - Work in the office, food shopping, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a motor racing club meeting, Bourne Motor Racing Club.
Friday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Saturday / Sunday - An occasional day out somewhere, fishing (not as much as I should, but we won't go into that here), food & drink with friends, jobs around the house, clean the pond pump, mow the lawn, wash the cars, cleaning, iron, etc.

ETA: the title should say "Is this really it?"

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 10:31

Get a dog.

[Muzzer79]

OP - What do you think a typical week should consist of?

Wakeboarding on a Monday
Skydiving on a Tuesday
Group sex on a Wednesday
Film premiere on a Thursday?

Your life could be like that if you pursued it, but life is what makes people happy.

If you're happy doing what you've listed; carry on. Don't worry about what makes other people happy (or not, as the case may be)

If you're not happy with it, find what makes you happy and do more of that. Again, don't work off what floats others' boat.

[Megaflow]

Muzzer79 said:

OP - What do you think a typical week should consist of?

Wakeboarding on a Monday
Skydiving on a Tuesday
Group sex on a Wednesday
Film premiere on a Thursday?

Your life could be like that if you pursued it, but life is what makes people happy.

I am not sure, hence the question. I am trying understand if I have got unrealistic expectations of life.

Muzzer79 said:

If you're happy doing what you've listed; carry on. Don't worry about what makes other people happy (or not, as the case may be)

If you're not happy with it, find what makes you happy and do more of that. Again, don't work off what floats others' boat.

I am not sure I am happy with the above, I keep having mental health issues. But I am genuinely not sure what does make me happy, apart from seeing friends, see this thread here https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... which so far seems to suggest my need for contact with friends is higher than normal.

[V8covin]

Muzzer79 said:

OP - What do you think a typical week should consist of?

Wakeboarding on a Monday
Skydiving on a Tuesday
Group sex on a Wednesday
Film premiere on a Thursday?

Your life could be like that if you pursued it, but life is what makes people happy.

If you're happy doing what you've listed; carry on. Don't worry about what makes other people happy (or not, as the case may be)

If you're not happy with it, find what makes you happy and do more of that. Again, don't work off what floats others' boat.

Group sex would be a Saturday

[KTMsm]

Many would aspire to have a week like that, not to be scared, hungry, cold...

To be healthy and live in a decent country you have won the lottery of life - you may feel bored because it isn't a challenge to survive

Write a list of things that make you happy and go for it

[greygoose]

Megaflow said:

I am trying understand if I have got unrealistic expectations of life.

Most people do, then you realise it's all a bit pointless and then you'll die.

[Megaflow]

KTMsm said:

Many would aspire to have a week like that, not to be scared, hungry, cold...

To be healthy and live in a decent country you have won the lottery of life - you may feel bored because it isn't a challenge to survive

Write a list of things that make you happy and go for it

Oh, I totally get that. Objectively I have absolutely nothing to complain about, nothing at all...

So why do I feel so totally unfulfilled?

[KTMsm]

Megaflow said:

Oh, I totally get that. Objectively I have absolutely nothing to complain about, nothing at all...

So why do I feel so totally unfulfilled?

I watch reels on FB instead of watching TV

It seems a common theme that men need to feel respected and need to look after something / someone to feel fulfilled

You're not alone, I think it's common in single / divorced men, even family men as their kids don't need them as much as they get older

[Jamescrs]

Seems pretty standard for a great many people, if you want to change it you have the ability to but you need to decide how, the obvious thing is to look at how much time you are spending in front of the TV because I suspect like most people you do that in the absence of anything more interesting to do.

Look at how you can better use that time, assuming you want to of course

[robscot]

Bin off the gym.

Do exercise elsewhere.

[Ezra]

Megaflow said:

I am not sure I am happy with the above, I keep having mental health issues. But I am genuinely not sure what does make me happy, apart from seeing friends, see this thread here https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... which so far seems to suggest my need for contact with friends is higher than normal.

I guess this is getting closer to the real thing here for the OP.

I can't help but feel there's a lot of over thinking here. It's your life and you need to do what makes you happy. If meeting folks / friends is important, do more of it. Don't rely on others making arrangements, put yourself out there and offer to organise things etc. Also, your typical week opens up quite a bit of interaction with others (work, gym, motor club etc). Use these as opportunities to suggest additional socialising / activities.

Also, at the risk of hanging myself out to dry, when you say 'keep having mental health issues' are these actually diagnosed or are these moments of self doubt, anxieties (or similar). If diagnosed - fair enough, I've nothing to say. If the latter, I would suggest everybody has these from time to time but they pass, as do moods etc. Life isn't perfect, everyone has doubts but I don't think it's helpful at all to start labelling all this as mental health issues.

[GilletteFan]

Date a girl with BPD. Should keep things interesting for a month or two. Rinse and repeat.

Go out more after a day of WFH. Dress up in your work attire, so you can go straight to the office. Meet fun people. Not the squares with a wife and kids at home.

It really depends on the company you keep.

Also have some interests and hobbies. There is literally not enough time in a day to do what I want.

[kevinon]

Megaflow said:

I am not sure I am happy with the above, I keep having mental health issues. But I am genuinely not sure what does make me happy, apart from seeing friends, see this thread here https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... which so far seems to suggest my need for contact with friends is higher than normal.

Here's a way that helped me.
I got into the details of my life, and how I spend my time.
This is my memory of what I did 10 + years ago, and I kept it up for 6 weeks of data.

It involved keeping a note with 7 or 8 columns on paper.
1. Time period. e.g. 8 - 9 am. (they suggest you have 24 Time periods, but
2. Where am I e.g. home.
3. What am I doing: Breakfast, or thinking about work, or day dreaming.
4. With whom: On My Own/ with colleague at work etc
5. predominant emotion: eg. calm, grateful, anxious etc
5b. marks out of 10 for happiness
6. Intensity of emotion: weak, strong, unmanageable, etc.
7. Insights. eg I don't like having breakfast with a colleague when we are staying in a hotel for work. etc. But love meals with friends. And I love seeing children playing and larking about, which was infrequent.

I saw masses of insights from all this (sometimes tedious) honest, in the moment record -keeping.

The obvious objective - look at what actually makes you happy and engage in it more.
Watching a movie at home - high happiness, feeling content. And yet I rarely did this. Now I do, and I find it rewarding. on my own, generally.

Look at what pulls you down, and do less. For example, I saw that alcohol, for me, was often associated with negative emotions. (no st Sherlock) And it consumed a lot of my time. And lessened my happiness next day. This probably helped me go alcohol free; a nice appreciation of what I would 'lose' (anticipation, giving my self permission to veg out ) and what I might gain (feeling everything, good or bad)

Hope that helps as possible thing to do OP. It wasn't a quick fix for me, but as I reflect now, I think it was really worthwhile for me. Not pretending to be in your shoes.

PM me if you'd like to chat

[Megaflow]

Jamescrs said:

Seems pretty standard for a great many people, if you want to change it you have the ability to but you need to decide how, the obvious thing is to look at how much time you are spending in front of the TV because I suspect like most people you do that in the absence of anything more interesting to do.

Look at how you can better use that time, assuming you want to of course

100%.

Ezra said:

Megaflow said:

I am not sure I am happy with the above, I keep having mental health issues. But I am genuinely not sure what does make me happy, apart from seeing friends, see this thread here https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... which so far seems to suggest my need for contact with friends is higher than normal.

I guess this is getting closer to the real thing here for the OP.

I can't help but feel there's a lot of over thinking here. It's your life and you need to do what makes you happy. If meeting folks / friends is important, do more of it. Don't rely on others making arrangements, put yourself out there and offer to organise things etc. Also, your typical week opens up quite a bit of interaction with others (work, gym, motor club etc). Use these as opportunities to suggest additional socialising / activities.

Also, at the risk of hanging myself out to dry, when you say 'keep having mental health issues' are these actually diagnosed or are these moments of self doubt, anxieties (or similar). If diagnosed - fair enough, I've nothing to say. If the latter, I would suggest everybody has these from time to time but they pass, as do moods etc. Life isn't perfect, everyone has doubts but I don't think it's helpful at all to start labelling all this as mental health issues.

yes, there is a lot of over thinking, unfortunately that is a part of the Asperger's. They are diagnosed mental health issues, depression. At first I thought it was the problem. The older I get, the more I wonder if it is a sympton of the Asperger's.

GilletteFan said:

Date a girl with BPD. Should keep things interesting for a month or two. Rinse and repeat.

Go out more after a day of WFH. Dress up in your work attire, so you can go straight to the office. Meet fun people. Not the squares with a wife and kids at home.

It really depends on the company you keep.

Also have some interests and hobbies. There is literally not enough time in a day to do what I want.

I am not sure what you mean here. If I am going out after WFH why do I need to be dressed in work attire to go straight the office, I have finished work?

kevinon said:

Here's a way that helped me.
I got into the details of my life, and how I spend my time.
This is my memory of what I did 10 + years ago, and I kept it up for 6 weeks of data.

It involved keeping a note with 7 or 8 columns on paper.
1. Time period. e.g. 8 - 9 am. (they suggest you have 24 Time periods, but
2. Where am I e.g. home.
3. What am I doing: Breakfast, or thinking about work, or day dreaming.
4. With whom: On My Own/ with colleague at work etc
5. predominant emotion: eg. calm, grateful, anxious etc
5b. marks out of 10 for happiness
6. Intensity of emotion: weak, strong, unmanageable, etc.
7. Insights. eg I don't like having breakfast with a colleague when we are staying in a hotel for work. etc. But love meals with friends. And I love seeing children playing and larking about, which was infrequent.

I saw masses of insights from all this (sometimes tedious) honest, in the moment record -keeping.

The obvious objective - look at what actually makes you happy and engage in it more.
Watching a movie at home - high happiness, feeling content. And yet I rarely did this. Now I do, and I find it rewarding. on my own, generally.

Look at what pulls you down, and do less. For example, I saw that alcohol, for me, was often associated with negative emotions. (no st Sherlock) And it consumed a lot of my time. And lessened my happiness next day. This probably helped me go alcohol free; a nice appreciation of what I would 'lose' (anticipation, giving my self permission to veg out ) and what I might gain (feeling everything, good or bad)

Hope that helps as possible thing to do OP. It wasn't a quick fix for me, but as I reflect now, I think it was really worthwhile for me. Not pretending to be in your shoes.

PM me if you'd like to chat

That is interesting. I'll have a look at that.

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 13:44

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 13:46

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 13:49

[GT03ROB]

Megaflow said:

As I have said in other post, I am trying to understand just what is going on inside my head after a really bad weekend. I'd like to see what a typical week looks like for other people. Here's mine:

Monday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Tuesday - Work in the office, dinner and TV
Wednesday - Work in the office, gym, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a parish council meeting.
Thursday - Work in the office, food shopping, dinner and TV. Once a month I have a motor racing club meeting, Bourne Motor Racing Club.
Friday - Work from home, gym, dinner and TV
Saturday / Sunday - An occasional day out somewhere, fishing (not as much as I should, but we won't go into that here), food & drink with friends, jobs around the house, clean the pond pump, mow the lawn, wash the cars, cleaning, iron, etc.

ETA: the title should say "Is this really it?"

Edited by Megaflow on Monday 23 October 10:31

What do you want it to be or think it should be? What are you not doing that you think you should be?

[Bannock]

There's one major thing stopping most of us from being "fulfilled". And it features heavily in 5 days of Megaflow's week.

Work.

Sadly, unless you're born into independent wealth, we all have to do it. It's why so many of us pretend that work and career matters so much to us, it's the only way of hiding the fact that very few of us would do it if we didn't have to.

It's the one thing that stops us from doing exactly as we please and seeking our own versions of happiness. It is a curse, dressed up as a prestigious endeavour.

[Megaflow]

Bannock said:

There's one major thing stopping most of us from being "fulfilled". And it features heavily in 5 days of Megaflow's week.

Work.

Sadly, unless you're born into independent wealth, we all have to do it. It's why so many of us pretend that work and career matters so much to us, it's the only way of hiding the fact that very few of us would do it if we didn't have to.

It's the one thing that stops us from doing exactly as we please and seeking our own versions of happiness. It is a curse, dressed up as a prestigious endeavour.

Nail on head.

Equally, I am not sure I could fill my time if I didn't have it. Retiring terrifies me.