Supporting child in hospital longer term
Discussion
It looks like my 7 year old son is going to be in hospital for a number of weeks, for a long course of antibiotics, and potentially an operation to drain some fluid around his brain.
He seems OK in himself, and I am confident he is getting really good care, so I’m actually more worried about the effects of being in hospital for many weeks. He’ll be missing a fair amount of school and all the social interaction. Not to mention the lack of sleep from being in a noisy ward.
Other than beeps and bongs and shouts from distressed kids, what is keeping me awake is how we are going to support him, and also his little brother, who also needs his parents.
When our son was born he had a 3 week stay in the neonatal unit, but in some ways that was easier, as he didn’t know who was caring for him, and as long as he was getting milk pumped in to his stomach and clean nappies he was fine. We could spend as much time with him as we wanted, but also go home if we needed to.
Now we need to be with him 24/7, but mainly for emotional support, but also need to be there for his brother. I’m sure I’m not the only PHer who has been in this situation, so has anyone found anything that works. Or have any tips that will help us all keep our sanity.
He seems OK in himself, and I am confident he is getting really good care, so I’m actually more worried about the effects of being in hospital for many weeks. He’ll be missing a fair amount of school and all the social interaction. Not to mention the lack of sleep from being in a noisy ward.
Other than beeps and bongs and shouts from distressed kids, what is keeping me awake is how we are going to support him, and also his little brother, who also needs his parents.
When our son was born he had a 3 week stay in the neonatal unit, but in some ways that was easier, as he didn’t know who was caring for him, and as long as he was getting milk pumped in to his stomach and clean nappies he was fine. We could spend as much time with him as we wanted, but also go home if we needed to.
Now we need to be with him 24/7, but mainly for emotional support, but also need to be there for his brother. I’m sure I’m not the only PHer who has been in this situation, so has anyone found anything that works. Or have any tips that will help us all keep our sanity.
I’m sure there’ll be other parents and kids in the ward who are in the same boat, so I’d get chatting to the other parents (for your own sanity) and encourage him to make some friends with kids around his age. Presumably he’ll be mobile (with an IV stand?) so he can play games, puzzles etc and hopefully make friends so it eases the pressure on you to entertain him.
Kids are amazingly resilient and I’m guessing the whole process will be far more stressful for you than it will be for him. So make sure you look after yourself.
I hope he makes a speedy recovery.
Kids are amazingly resilient and I’m guessing the whole process will be far more stressful for you than it will be for him. So make sure you look after yourself.
I hope he makes a speedy recovery.
I had a similar siutation a few years ago, a few things we worked out learnt:
- sounds obvious but take it in turns with you and you partner to be with your son. It'll be difficult for you both but better for the kids.
- don't try and keep your younger one away (we did this and she started to worry), she then came in for an hours after school so she could see her bnrother was OK
- food in our hospital (for patient and visitors) was crap. Bring in snacks treats as you son is going to be having a tough time without eating cold stew and mash
- look after yourself and your partner, even just a few weeks can be very draining mentally.
I hope your son is OK.
- sounds obvious but take it in turns with you and you partner to be with your son. It'll be difficult for you both but better for the kids.
- don't try and keep your younger one away (we did this and she started to worry), she then came in for an hours after school so she could see her bnrother was OK
- food in our hospital (for patient and visitors) was crap. Bring in snacks treats as you son is going to be having a tough time without eating cold stew and mash
- look after yourself and your partner, even just a few weeks can be very draining mentally.
I hope your son is OK.
WestyCarl said:
I had a similar siutation a few years ago, a few things we worked out learnt:
- sounds obvious but take it in turns with you and you partner to be with your son. It'll be difficult for you both but better for the kids.
- don't try and keep your younger one away (we did this and she started to worry), she then came in for an hours after school so she could see her bnrother was OK
- food in our hospital (for patient and visitors) was crap. Bring in snacks treats as you son is going to be having a tough time without eating cold stew and mash
- look after yourself and your partner, even just a few weeks can be very draining mentally.
I hope your son is OK.
Having been through this, I agree with every word of that post.- sounds obvious but take it in turns with you and you partner to be with your son. It'll be difficult for you both but better for the kids.
- don't try and keep your younger one away (we did this and she started to worry), she then came in for an hours after school so she could see her bnrother was OK
- food in our hospital (for patient and visitors) was crap. Bring in snacks treats as you son is going to be having a tough time without eating cold stew and mash
- look after yourself and your partner, even just a few weeks can be very draining mentally.
I hope your son is OK.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks all, especially WestyCarl.
Today seemed to go a lot quicker than last night, with lots to do and learn. It definitely helped that my best mate turned up with one of the best breakfast rolls I ever had - my lad appreciated having someone different to talk to as well.
Our plan for the next few days is to swap whilst the little one is at school. We may take him in at the weekend, I think he’s missing his big brother and claims he “isn’t going to annoy him anymore”.
Today seemed to go a lot quicker than last night, with lots to do and learn. It definitely helped that my best mate turned up with one of the best breakfast rolls I ever had - my lad appreciated having someone different to talk to as well.
Our plan for the next few days is to swap whilst the little one is at school. We may take him in at the weekend, I think he’s missing his big brother and claims he “isn’t going to annoy him anymore”.
All I can say is with a 7 year old son myself, I can only imagine what you’re going through.
As has been mentioned, hospital food can be crap. Maybe treat him to his favourite takeout from time to time, and bring in food if feasible?
There are a few board games my kids like to play, bring a selection is as well as the usual screen-type distractions?
Just remember you (your partner and yourself) need to keep your sanity to be able to give your son what he needs, so take a little time to make sure you and your partner have the needed mental/physical breaks as well.
Wishing you all the best.
As has been mentioned, hospital food can be crap. Maybe treat him to his favourite takeout from time to time, and bring in food if feasible?
There are a few board games my kids like to play, bring a selection is as well as the usual screen-type distractions?
Just remember you (your partner and yourself) need to keep your sanity to be able to give your son what he needs, so take a little time to make sure you and your partner have the needed mental/physical breaks as well.
Wishing you all the best.
Thanks all. Headphones for tablets/TVs on the ward would make things better, but I appreciate it isn’t possible for everyone. He has got his normal headphones but I think we have a spare pair of noise cancelling headphones- so will pack them for tomorrow.
He’s had a happy meal brought in already, but one thing we learned today, that may help someone finding this in the future is that the menu options are different at midday and evening meals - he normally has a sandwich at midday and a hot meal in the evening, so he was given the options. Then the lad in the next bed asked for a hot lunch and had much tastier sounding options. It sure if that is a Sunday thing, but will be asking for all the hot meal options from tomorrow.
He’s had a happy meal brought in already, but one thing we learned today, that may help someone finding this in the future is that the menu options are different at midday and evening meals - he normally has a sandwich at midday and a hot meal in the evening, so he was given the options. Then the lad in the next bed asked for a hot lunch and had much tastier sounding options. It sure if that is a Sunday thing, but will be asking for all the hot meal options from tomorrow.
I don't have direct experience.....but ..... Does he read a lot ? .... or an opportunity to get him to read more and another option to screen time for when you are not there.
If you can find something that he likes (preferably something that has a lot of books in a series !!) then it's a good time user, it's distracting, and reading is good for them at that age anyway. Will all depend on how much he reads now and/or how much he's interested.
Ref Minecraft > He could use it not only to "play" the game but to teach himself how to do things he can't do now in terms of building....there's loads of tutorials on line. Even give him a task to teach you :-)
Good luck and hope all works out well for all of you.
If you can find something that he likes (preferably something that has a lot of books in a series !!) then it's a good time user, it's distracting, and reading is good for them at that age anyway. Will all depend on how much he reads now and/or how much he's interested.
Ref Minecraft > He could use it not only to "play" the game but to teach himself how to do things he can't do now in terms of building....there's loads of tutorials on line. Even give him a task to teach you :-)
Good luck and hope all works out well for all of you.
Edited by Steve Campbell on Monday 23 October 15:08
Thanks! He is a real bookworm, so has being doing lots of reading. We have also learned to get visitors to give him books at the end of their visit, or he'll just sit and read them instead of chatting. Minecraft challenges seems like a good idea - I have challenged myself to set him up a Minecraft server on AWS, using CDK, so he can play with his mates.
He seemed a bit down today, despite getting some good news from the consultant, but we've had a good evening, playing UNO.
School have said "don't worry about school work", however, he saw a Tweet with an activity his classmates had done, which cheered him up, so we made a quick copy of the worksheet and emailed a photo of it to school, which kept him busy for a bit.
He seemed a bit down today, despite getting some good news from the consultant, but we've had a good evening, playing UNO.
School have said "don't worry about school work", however, he saw a Tweet with an activity his classmates had done, which cheered him up, so we made a quick copy of the worksheet and emailed a photo of it to school, which kept him busy for a bit.
We are still in hospital, but have been moved back to our "local" hospital from the specialist children's hospital where we were for 11 days. He seems to be responding well to treatment and the plan is that he can go down to 1x 30 minute dose of antibiotics a day (down from 4 currently), so he should be able to go home.
He is currently in an isolation room at the local hospital, it is a double edged sword, as although it is quieter, he is not allowed to the play room etc, and we also get forgotten about. e.g. on the ward the pump for the IV medicine would get switched off as soon as it started beeping to say it is finished, but here it can be going for half an hour. Not ideal at 3am!
There have been some useful book recommendations on the PH thread, and he has managed to charm the play workers at both hospitals so managed to get games consoles when they are being allocated in the morning.
Now that we are back at the local hospital he should be getting school support, except it is now half term. And he will hopefully be home by the time "hospital school" starts again. We will need to see what the school support is when he gets out, as he will still need daily visits to the hospital and appointments for scans/follow up appointments are already stacking up.
He is currently in an isolation room at the local hospital, it is a double edged sword, as although it is quieter, he is not allowed to the play room etc, and we also get forgotten about. e.g. on the ward the pump for the IV medicine would get switched off as soon as it started beeping to say it is finished, but here it can be going for half an hour. Not ideal at 3am!
There have been some useful book recommendations on the PH thread, and he has managed to charm the play workers at both hospitals so managed to get games consoles when they are being allocated in the morning.
Now that we are back at the local hospital he should be getting school support, except it is now half term. And he will hopefully be home by the time "hospital school" starts again. We will need to see what the school support is when he gets out, as he will still need daily visits to the hospital and appointments for scans/follow up appointments are already stacking up.
Craikeybaby said:
There have been some useful book recommendations on the PH thread, and he has managed to charm the play workers at both hospitals so managed to get games consoles when they are being allocated in the morning.
seems like he's learning a great life skill.Hope everything continues to get better. Don't forgot to look after yourself and your partner
gangzoom said:
Sounds like its going as well as can be expected, hope the run up to Xmas goes OK.
Thanks - my wife and I have both got "big" birthdays in December too, so hoping that we will be able to do something for those too, even if it is just a meal out locally. We were meant to be flying to Rome today for a pre-birthday trip.WestyCarl said:
seems like he's learning a great life skill.Hope everything continues to get better. Don't forgot to look after yourself and your partner
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff