Discussion
I am 35 been out of work due to 3 back surgery's and in constant pain.
It's been 4 years now of constant pain 30 tablets a day and I have a wife and 3 kid's.I really don't know what to do I have no education due to been a prat when I was younger and was only good for manual job's.I have been stuck in the house for 4 years can only walk short distances I need a job.
I don't know why I'm writing this just hoping someone as been through similar and I just feel lost don't have anyone to talk to.
It's been 4 years now of constant pain 30 tablets a day and I have a wife and 3 kid's.I really don't know what to do I have no education due to been a prat when I was younger and was only good for manual job's.I have been stuck in the house for 4 years can only walk short distances I need a job.
I don't know why I'm writing this just hoping someone as been through similar and I just feel lost don't have anyone to talk to.
The first step is acknowledging the issue. You have a partner who loves you and three kids who for sure love their dad. I would guess u]you can talk to your wife, but maybe not about some of the despair you feel. I am afraid putting a brave face on is really in the English dna and it’s hard to ask for help.
Help is out there, does the hospital have any support groups, or run an counselling session for outpatients? You should talk to your GP too.
If you are good at making things, is there a chance to make a sell things you have made?
Help is out there, does the hospital have any support groups, or run an counselling session for outpatients? You should talk to your GP too.
If you are good at making things, is there a chance to make a sell things you have made?
Have you thought about working in a call centre ?
Your skill of being able to talk to customers is something that is in high demand.
It could then lead you away from a customer facing role and training you for any number of roles within the company.
Having been told, in 1975, that I may not walk again I have an idea about health limitations and how far your opportunities can open up.
Your skill of being able to talk to customers is something that is in high demand.
It could then lead you away from a customer facing role and training you for any number of roles within the company.
Having been told, in 1975, that I may not walk again I have an idea about health limitations and how far your opportunities can open up.
Yes I am on disability but as people will know it's not good money at all.My wife works full time as a manager of a charity shop.I think the main issue is feeling useless I don't know how to explain it other then feeling useless kids are at school wife's at work and your just there feeling worthless.
I don't have friends because they are or all immature so I can not have a serious conversation with anyone and I haven't really had a role model in life so haven't had anyone to guide me and share interests.
like I said I don't know why I've wrote this it just seems easier to wrote it down.
I don't have friends because they are or all immature so I can not have a serious conversation with anyone and I haven't really had a role model in life so haven't had anyone to guide me and share interests.
like I said I don't know why I've wrote this it just seems easier to wrote it down.
rayny said:
Have you thought about working in a call centre ?
Your skill of being able to talk to customers is something that is in high demand.
It could then lead you away from a customer facing role and training you for any number of roles within the company.
Having been told, in 1975, that I may not walk again I have an idea about health limitations and how far your opportunities can open up.
How did you get the mind set that you wasn't going to let anything stop you and that there was a future n front of you Your skill of being able to talk to customers is something that is in high demand.
It could then lead you away from a customer facing role and training you for any number of roles within the company.
Having been told, in 1975, that I may not walk again I have an idea about health limitations and how far your opportunities can open up.
Chris, you've had manual jobs in the past, what in?
If you've done trades then how about looking at a role in a builders merchant? The counter staff or office sales running jobs are generally better when they have experience of the industry. The likes of Howdens, Magnet, Plumb center etc.
In terms of looking at the future when you have a serious injury, you need to consider your prognosis, whether you can do anything to improve that by yourself, managing your expectations and being realistic with your goals. You can start by setting yourself short term and medium term plans and goals and validating them by writing them down, sharing with others or committing to anything in the future. It could be something as simple as getting up at a set time each day, going for a walk, even if it's just to the end of the road. Build on something but never let life pass you by.
If you've done trades then how about looking at a role in a builders merchant? The counter staff or office sales running jobs are generally better when they have experience of the industry. The likes of Howdens, Magnet, Plumb center etc.
In terms of looking at the future when you have a serious injury, you need to consider your prognosis, whether you can do anything to improve that by yourself, managing your expectations and being realistic with your goals. You can start by setting yourself short term and medium term plans and goals and validating them by writing them down, sharing with others or committing to anything in the future. It could be something as simple as getting up at a set time each day, going for a walk, even if it's just to the end of the road. Build on something but never let life pass you by.
Post Covid there are a lots of work from home jobs, but they need a bit of technical ability, calls are usually routed to your laptop not phone, so you'd need to challenge yourself to learn the basics. Maybe see if a charity needs voluntary call centre people as a way of getting some experience?
Applying for jobs is mostly an on line thing these days, you can post on here so obviously aren't a complete technical numpty and what you typed is fairly good, lots of people can't spell or construct a coherent sentence so you must have been listening most of the time at school
As others said, if you used to be on the tools maybe call centre for a company in the trade you know, it's easy to train someone to answer a phone but teaching someone about the tools or materials is more difficult, needs background in the trade.
My kids get jobs from on line applications and there seems to be quite a lot of work around, they do have to apply for quite a lot but something always comes up, so don't give up because your first application isn't successful, just apply for everything and one will work, even if the pay is rubbish, just do it for a few months, learn a bit and find something better.
There may be job club type things who do basic training on computers?
Even for basic jobs you need to write a CV, make that positive, include your experience, the stuff you're good at. You can't lie but play down the bad things and highlight the good ones, the first step is getting an interview so if your CV says I'm desperate take loads of pills, am in pain you probably won't get anywhere but if it says 20 years experience in xyz you're ahead of people with no experience. Ask on the Jobs and Employment forum, there's probably someone there who can help with CV writing.
Don't give up, and good luck.
Applying for jobs is mostly an on line thing these days, you can post on here so obviously aren't a complete technical numpty and what you typed is fairly good, lots of people can't spell or construct a coherent sentence so you must have been listening most of the time at school
As others said, if you used to be on the tools maybe call centre for a company in the trade you know, it's easy to train someone to answer a phone but teaching someone about the tools or materials is more difficult, needs background in the trade.
My kids get jobs from on line applications and there seems to be quite a lot of work around, they do have to apply for quite a lot but something always comes up, so don't give up because your first application isn't successful, just apply for everything and one will work, even if the pay is rubbish, just do it for a few months, learn a bit and find something better.
There may be job club type things who do basic training on computers?
Even for basic jobs you need to write a CV, make that positive, include your experience, the stuff you're good at. You can't lie but play down the bad things and highlight the good ones, the first step is getting an interview so if your CV says I'm desperate take loads of pills, am in pain you probably won't get anywhere but if it says 20 years experience in xyz you're ahead of people with no experience. Ask on the Jobs and Employment forum, there's probably someone there who can help with CV writing.
Don't give up, and good luck.
Please speak to your GP. 30 tablets a day of whatever it is you're taking (presumably painkillers) is something you need help with. It's tough because those little b
ds are often very strong and highly addictive. There are plenty of alternatives to pills when it comes to managing many types of physical pain. Work on that as a first step.
As for your situation in general, I wouldn't worry too much. I remember waking up on my 31st birthday in a studio flat in a tower block, divorced, one kid, totally broke and unemployed. And just 3 mediocre A levels as my academic credentials. I managed to turn it around one step at a time and the first step was speaking to everyone I knew to see if they had any work for me. The most unlikely person (the one I knew less well than the rest) did and it started from there. Get off the pills, get on the phone (emails rarely work) and let people know you want to work and have the skills and an attitude they need.
ds are often very strong and highly addictive. There are plenty of alternatives to pills when it comes to managing many types of physical pain. Work on that as a first step. As for your situation in general, I wouldn't worry too much. I remember waking up on my 31st birthday in a studio flat in a tower block, divorced, one kid, totally broke and unemployed. And just 3 mediocre A levels as my academic credentials. I managed to turn it around one step at a time and the first step was speaking to everyone I knew to see if they had any work for me. The most unlikely person (the one I knew less well than the rest) did and it started from there. Get off the pills, get on the phone (emails rarely work) and let people know you want to work and have the skills and an attitude they need.
Worth calling the back care charity
https://backcare.org.uk/
Being very tall, and an ex-rower, and keen mountain biker, I ticked all the risk factors for future back problems.
About 14 years ago when self employed - so a nightmare as I suddenly had zero income - those risks came home to roost.
I was on the path of a discectomy in my lower spine having already had a failed nerve root block injection, and hurry up and wait to see if pills helped.
By chance I spoke to a physio at the charity who listened to my situation over the phone and then gave me a raft of different exercises to try.
6 months later, I was better and whenever I get a twinge the exercises get ramped up again.
May not work for you, but worth a try.
P. S. You have my sympathies as back pain is one of the worst to live with day to day as some days you can't even get comfy for a second and even turning over in bed is agony.
https://backcare.org.uk/
Being very tall, and an ex-rower, and keen mountain biker, I ticked all the risk factors for future back problems.
About 14 years ago when self employed - so a nightmare as I suddenly had zero income - those risks came home to roost.
I was on the path of a discectomy in my lower spine having already had a failed nerve root block injection, and hurry up and wait to see if pills helped.
By chance I spoke to a physio at the charity who listened to my situation over the phone and then gave me a raft of different exercises to try.
6 months later, I was better and whenever I get a twinge the exercises get ramped up again.
May not work for you, but worth a try.
P. S. You have my sympathies as back pain is one of the worst to live with day to day as some days you can't even get comfy for a second and even turning over in bed is agony.
If you can be bothered with building up an online presence and shill, you can do online reviews and marketing. I'm not sure how much this pays, but it could ignite some fire in your belly. Also, look for any product testing opportunities. Plenty of work in the online world. There's even services for being an online/ virtual friend to lonely people.
Good luck
Good luck
pistonchris said:
How did you get the mind set that you wasn't going to let anything stop you and that there was a future n front of you
Sometimes it is just a small thing that makes you appreciate what you have, or want, and that it is worth doing whatever you can to keep it.In my case, it was re-gaining my independence.
I was lucky that I got to see how much of a difference individual people could make to peoples lives.
Doing even the smallest of things can make such a difference to people around you.
Smiling is infectious - Spread it around.
Treat everybody, especially shop staff and others who have to deal with the general public, with respect and dignity.
When people around you are happy, then your own life becomes more positive.
Never fail to apologise when you are in the wrong.
Never fail to praise somebody when they deserve it.
Roofless Toothless said:
Volunteer for Samaritans. You will soon be talking to people worse off than you.
Best wishes to you, you can get through it to the other side.
Sounds like a good idea, especially if you are good at talking to people, it requires specialist training and, I suppose has the risk of making you more miserable.Best wishes to you, you can get through it to the other side.
Best wishes anyhow
As others have posted, there are more wfh type jobs around now.
One of my kids works for one of the utility suppliers from home and spends time organising the meter installers and talking with customers and loves it.
As you certainly know how to use a forum, you would know how to use a computer!
Good luck!
One of my kids works for one of the utility suppliers from home and spends time organising the meter installers and talking with customers and loves it.
As you certainly know how to use a forum, you would know how to use a computer!
Good luck!
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