Dad just died from a heart attack
Discussion
Ok, I am writing this out of frustration and curiosity. Unsure if anyone has any advice?
My dad died 2 weeks ago and we have just received the autopsy.
Heart attack. Job done, no explanation why?
He was 74 and recently had a checkup and was told his heart was healthy.
He did have this rotten cold/flu that's been going around, we thought he was getting better.
All rather odd and we don't really know what to do next, it seems the mortuaries are overwhelmed at the moment by people with "heart attacks".
My dad died 2 weeks ago and we have just received the autopsy.
Heart attack. Job done, no explanation why?
He was 74 and recently had a checkup and was told his heart was healthy.
He did have this rotten cold/flu that's been going around, we thought he was getting better.
All rather odd and we don't really know what to do next, it seems the mortuaries are overwhelmed at the moment by people with "heart attacks".
So sorry for your loss.
[edit] it is very difficult to say anything but...
Did he suddenly keel over or did it happen over the course, of say, half an hour?
Suddenly keeling over most likely cardiac arrest (heart electrical issues, which can happen to anyone at any time without warning)
If he held on for a while, then likely a heart attack (heart plumbing issues, which can sometimes cause a cardiac arrest)
Really don't want to upset you and this has been difficult to write.
[edit] it is very difficult to say anything but...
Did he suddenly keel over or did it happen over the course, of say, half an hour?
Suddenly keeling over most likely cardiac arrest (heart electrical issues, which can happen to anyone at any time without warning)
If he held on for a while, then likely a heart attack (heart plumbing issues, which can sometimes cause a cardiac arrest)
Really don't want to upset you and this has been difficult to write.
Edited by colin_p on Monday 16th January 18:51
My condolences for your loss.
One of my best friends had a (non-fatal) heart attack back in April. What was bizarre is that he's a fireman and just 2 days before he'd successfully completed his annual fitness test, part of which involves carrying his own body weight up 10 flights of stairs.
The only thing that saved him was that he had his heart attack on a "shout" and there was an ambulance present. He ended uphaving a triple bypass and has been back at work since November.
One of my best friends had a (non-fatal) heart attack back in April. What was bizarre is that he's a fireman and just 2 days before he'd successfully completed his annual fitness test, part of which involves carrying his own body weight up 10 flights of stairs.
The only thing that saved him was that he had his heart attack on a "shout" and there was an ambulance present. He ended uphaving a triple bypass and has been back at work since November.
My sincere condolences to you and your family.
Unfortunately a heart attack can happen to anyone at anytime. I few years ago I felt unwell and went to the doctor - no chest pains, just out of sorts. I was 60 years old, fit and healthy, 5'10'' 12 stone 40''chest, 32'' waist. Active lifestyle, healthy diet, never smoked and only an occasional drink.
Doctor did some tests and suggested I ought to go to the local hospital for more tests - just for completeness. Arrived at hospital, a few tests and told 'get in the wheelchair, you are not going anywhere until we have operated. You have had a heart attack.( I am not aware of any specific event, just generally feeling unwell.) Following day 3 stents fitted and told you need to come back in 8 weeks time for further stents on the other side. Second op and two more stents fitted.
Whilst attending the Heart Centre I was struck by the number of folks there, both male and female who were like me, outwardly fit and did not fit the stereotype of someone who had heart problems. Age range from early teens to elderly.
Unfortunately, and I don't want to sound unkind, but as far as the authorities are concerned 'it is one of those things that happens' They have determined cause of death and job done. As for your father having had prior heart tests, there is probably no reason for the doctor to know, or suspect, anything might be amiss.
I really do feel for you, as my Mother-in-law broke her wrist and had to go to casualty. She was admitted to hospital for observation and three days later died in hospital. No explanation, nothing, Just the Coroners report ' old age'
Unfortunately a heart attack can happen to anyone at anytime. I few years ago I felt unwell and went to the doctor - no chest pains, just out of sorts. I was 60 years old, fit and healthy, 5'10'' 12 stone 40''chest, 32'' waist. Active lifestyle, healthy diet, never smoked and only an occasional drink.
Doctor did some tests and suggested I ought to go to the local hospital for more tests - just for completeness. Arrived at hospital, a few tests and told 'get in the wheelchair, you are not going anywhere until we have operated. You have had a heart attack.( I am not aware of any specific event, just generally feeling unwell.) Following day 3 stents fitted and told you need to come back in 8 weeks time for further stents on the other side. Second op and two more stents fitted.
Whilst attending the Heart Centre I was struck by the number of folks there, both male and female who were like me, outwardly fit and did not fit the stereotype of someone who had heart problems. Age range from early teens to elderly.
Unfortunately, and I don't want to sound unkind, but as far as the authorities are concerned 'it is one of those things that happens' They have determined cause of death and job done. As for your father having had prior heart tests, there is probably no reason for the doctor to know, or suspect, anything might be amiss.
I really do feel for you, as my Mother-in-law broke her wrist and had to go to casualty. She was admitted to hospital for observation and three days later died in hospital. No explanation, nothing, Just the Coroners report ' old age'
Sorry for your loss.
Whilst at the minute I'm sure it feels like a massive amount of strain and stress for you, and (probably selfishly) you want to know why he's gone at 74 and not made it to 84, but you'll look back in the future and realise it is the best way to go. There's no point stressing and searching for answers, you can't change anything and it'll only give you sleepless nights
Fit and healthy, then just suffer a massive heart attack with no warning and be done with it.
Its far better than a prolonged illness, loosing marbles or needing a lot of care and or palleative easing.
Whilst at the minute I'm sure it feels like a massive amount of strain and stress for you, and (probably selfishly) you want to know why he's gone at 74 and not made it to 84, but you'll look back in the future and realise it is the best way to go. There's no point stressing and searching for answers, you can't change anything and it'll only give you sleepless nights
Fit and healthy, then just suffer a massive heart attack with no warning and be done with it.
Its far better than a prolonged illness, loosing marbles or needing a lot of care and or palleative easing.
Ambleton said:
Sorry for your loss.
Whilst at the minute I'm sure it feels like a massive amount of strain and stress for you, and (probably selfishly) you want to know why he's gone at 74 and not made it to 84, but you'll look back in the future and realise it is the best way to go. There's no point stressing and searching for answers, you can't change anything and it'll only give you sleepless nights
Fit and healthy, then just suffer a massive heart attack with no warning and be done with it.
Its far better than a prolonged illness, loosing marbles or needing a lot of care and or palleative easing.
I too offer my condolences to the OP and agree with Ambleton. First FiL went with two Heart Attacks in a week, but first MiL & second MiL went through months of agony with Cancer. My mother struggled with Asthma and her breathing for decades, finally succumbing in a hospital bed, her lungs just knackered.Whilst at the minute I'm sure it feels like a massive amount of strain and stress for you, and (probably selfishly) you want to know why he's gone at 74 and not made it to 84, but you'll look back in the future and realise it is the best way to go. There's no point stressing and searching for answers, you can't change anything and it'll only give you sleepless nights
Fit and healthy, then just suffer a massive heart attack with no warning and be done with it.
Its far better than a prolonged illness, loosing marbles or needing a lot of care and or palleative easing.
BGARK said:
He was 74 and recently had a checkup and was told his heart was healthy.
He did have this rotten cold/flu that's been going around, we thought he was getting better.
I learnt that virus's can weaken the heart. If your are reasonably healthy then you've no problem, but if you have any weaknesses then the heart can fail.He did have this rotten cold/flu that's been going around, we thought he was getting better.
Learnt this when my brother in law died having caught caught Covid age 70. He had chest cancer which was being managed, but after he recovered from Covid he suddenly suffered with heart failure and the specialists told him that Covid would have weakened his heart as he was already weakened by the cancer. He had lots of heart treatment which was successful, but in the background when nobody was looking his cancer had seen an opportunity to grow, and claimed him a few weeks later.
Edited by Big Stevie on Monday 16th January 20:15
BGARK said:
Ok, I am writing this out of frustration and curiosity. Unsure if anyone has any advice?
My dad died 2 weeks ago and we have just received the autopsy.
Heart attack. Job done, no explanation why?
He was 74 and recently had a checkup and was told his heart was healthy.
He did have this rotten cold/flu that's been going around, we thought he was getting better.
All rather odd and we don't really know what to do next, it seems the mortuaries are overwhelmed at the moment by people with "heart attacks".
Sorry for your loss. If it helps, you can ask for more information to help you understand. Someone from the medical team(s) that treated your Dad may agree to meet to discuss the treatment decisions and explain things from their perspective. Unless a coronary angiogram is carried out (not part of any routine check) then you can't see the health of the arteries that supply the heart.My dad died 2 weeks ago and we have just received the autopsy.
Heart attack. Job done, no explanation why?
He was 74 and recently had a checkup and was told his heart was healthy.
He did have this rotten cold/flu that's been going around, we thought he was getting better.
All rather odd and we don't really know what to do next, it seems the mortuaries are overwhelmed at the moment by people with "heart attacks".
Sorry for your loss.
I get the impression from your opening post that you have a slight sense of ‘Could I have seen this coming?’ ‘What if…’ etc …
All natural thoughts and feelings to have, but hopefully you can take some comfort from knowing that some heart attacks, much like your fathers, can just happen.
As a young apprentice i saw this happen to a healthy draughtsman who sadly had a huge one and died at his drawing board in the office. A friend of the family, again a fit and healthy bloke suffered the same while driving to the shop one morning.
As others have said, there is people out there you can talk to and ask questions, and hopefully some of the responses and advice you receive on here will help you come to terms with the loss too.
I get the impression from your opening post that you have a slight sense of ‘Could I have seen this coming?’ ‘What if…’ etc …
All natural thoughts and feelings to have, but hopefully you can take some comfort from knowing that some heart attacks, much like your fathers, can just happen.
As a young apprentice i saw this happen to a healthy draughtsman who sadly had a huge one and died at his drawing board in the office. A friend of the family, again a fit and healthy bloke suffered the same while driving to the shop one morning.
As others have said, there is people out there you can talk to and ask questions, and hopefully some of the responses and advice you receive on here will help you come to terms with the loss too.
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss OP.
Just in case it helps, my story is as follows: six years ago - I was 55 at the time - I had a really nasty 'flu-like virus over the New Year holiday. I was, at the time, a healthy active person - golf, 5 a side, had run a half marathon - and hadn't seen a doctor for decades, literally. Never smoked. As I recovered from that virus, I was left feeling incredibly tired and couldn't breathe properly; turned out my lungs were filled with fluid.
I ended up in A&E with a heart rate of 160 and was immediately admitted to cardiology. It wasn't a heart attack, it was heart failure with impaired function in my left ventricle.
Six years on, my condition is stable with a drug regime that seems to be working well enough. Anyway, to this day my cardiology consultant just smiles and says "A virus can do that, Mr. BF. We don't fully understand why some people are badly affected; you were fit, active, and unlucky."
Perhaps your dad was affected by his virus, even worse than I was, obviously. Sometimes these things do happen and it's bloody unfair, and hard to deal with. I lost my dad 4 years ago and think of him every day, but you do get used to it eventually. Sincere best wishes to you.
Just in case it helps, my story is as follows: six years ago - I was 55 at the time - I had a really nasty 'flu-like virus over the New Year holiday. I was, at the time, a healthy active person - golf, 5 a side, had run a half marathon - and hadn't seen a doctor for decades, literally. Never smoked. As I recovered from that virus, I was left feeling incredibly tired and couldn't breathe properly; turned out my lungs were filled with fluid.
I ended up in A&E with a heart rate of 160 and was immediately admitted to cardiology. It wasn't a heart attack, it was heart failure with impaired function in my left ventricle.
Six years on, my condition is stable with a drug regime that seems to be working well enough. Anyway, to this day my cardiology consultant just smiles and says "A virus can do that, Mr. BF. We don't fully understand why some people are badly affected; you were fit, active, and unlucky."
Perhaps your dad was affected by his virus, even worse than I was, obviously. Sometimes these things do happen and it's bloody unfair, and hard to deal with. I lost my dad 4 years ago and think of him every day, but you do get used to it eventually. Sincere best wishes to you.
Big Stevie said:
I learnt that virus's can weaken the heart. If your are reasonably healthy then you've no problem, but if you have any weaknesses then the heart can fail.
Happened to a lad I worked with who was in his twenties. Not exactly 'fit' but not unfit, not overweight and not a smoker or drinker. He felt a bit fluey but kept going in to work and developed chest pains whilst out and about. He ended up going to hospital and was told he'd had a heart attack and that they believed the symptoms pointed to viral inflammation of the heart. They did blood tests which confirmed the presence of proteins indicating damage to the heart, IIRC. He was taken off usual duties for a while but made a full recovery. If he was in his 70's, that might have been it for him.
Been there too unfortunately OP. My father was on a coach tour last year, fell asleep, made a “snort” and that was it. All over, nothing could be done. Not a bad way to go I suppose.
We had the autopsy and they diagnosed Isachemic heart disease. Like you, he’d been given clean bill of health on the heart front.
I think about him every day and think “what if”. Won’t change anything, can’t bring him back. What I am doing now is making sure the same thing doesn’t happen to me
We had the autopsy and they diagnosed Isachemic heart disease. Like you, he’d been given clean bill of health on the heart front.
I think about him every day and think “what if”. Won’t change anything, can’t bring him back. What I am doing now is making sure the same thing doesn’t happen to me
Yes, very sorry for your loss. I was in the same position as you twenty years ago on when my dad passed away at the age of 72 from heart failure, he had had problems in the past and was on medication, but there was no indication that his life was in imminent danger.
In the past 18 months we've had three brothers-in-law pass away from heart conditions, all sudden deaths with no warning symptoms. Two brothers age 79 and 71 as well as my sisters ex-husband who was only 66.
I'm afraid it's surprisingly common, which is of course no comfort for the big hole in you and your family's life that his death will leave
In the past 18 months we've had three brothers-in-law pass away from heart conditions, all sudden deaths with no warning symptoms. Two brothers age 79 and 71 as well as my sisters ex-husband who was only 66.
I'm afraid it's surprisingly common, which is of course no comfort for the big hole in you and your family's life that his death will leave
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad.
Mine also died of a heart attack at 74 following treatment in hospital for something else but the shock was still huge.
Don’t underestimate how you will feel over the coming weeks / months - the grieving process is an odd one and no two people are the same.
For me the oddest one was thinking a few months after he died that I had seen my Dad - in a supermarket. I knew it wasn’t him obviously but I still went down the same isle a couple of times to be sure ! Apparently quite common.
All the very best to you and your family.
Mine also died of a heart attack at 74 following treatment in hospital for something else but the shock was still huge.
Don’t underestimate how you will feel over the coming weeks / months - the grieving process is an odd one and no two people are the same.
For me the oddest one was thinking a few months after he died that I had seen my Dad - in a supermarket. I knew it wasn’t him obviously but I still went down the same isle a couple of times to be sure ! Apparently quite common.
All the very best to you and your family.
alscar said:
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad.
Mine also died of a heart attack at 74 following treatment in hospital for something else but the shock was still huge.
Don’t underestimate how you will feel over the coming weeks / months - the grieving process is an odd one and no two people are the same.
For me the oddest one was thinking a few months after he died that I had seen my Dad - in a supermarket. I knew it wasn’t him obviously but I still went down the same isle a couple of times to be sure ! Apparently quite common.
All the very best to you and your family.
I'm sorry for your loss of your father.Mine also died of a heart attack at 74 following treatment in hospital for something else but the shock was still huge.
Don’t underestimate how you will feel over the coming weeks / months - the grieving process is an odd one and no two people are the same.
For me the oddest one was thinking a few months after he died that I had seen my Dad - in a supermarket. I knew it wasn’t him obviously but I still went down the same isle a couple of times to be sure ! Apparently quite common.
All the very best to you and your family.
Take note of the comment about underestimating, especially the different ways to process your loss.
My father died at 64, after having an operation. I spoke with him for some months after. I underwent a character change for a month or so. I found arranging his funeral and notifications helped. Better than sitting around.
The most hackneyed of sayings as what to after the death of a loved one is to remember the good times. It's the best method, although it took me ages to crack it.
Best of luck.
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