Toddler going to sleep help

Toddler going to sleep help

Author
Discussion

TheHighlander

Original Poster:

1,304 posts

203 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Right we’re on the last resort now.

I have a 2 year old girl (26 months) she used to go to bed no problem, couple of stories, milk then straight to sleep.

Over the passed 12 weeks she now refuses, she wants one fo us to sit in the room with her until she falls asleep, or it’s one more book and so on, she’s also waking up during the night 2-3 times and staying up for about 40mins so you can imagine my mental state for work in the morning 😂

Just wondering how we can make this better as I’m not seeing an end in sight.

She used to sleep 7-6 no problem and now it’s changed. I’m not too fussed about the early mornings as I tend to head to the gym before work it’s the waking during the night and the refusing to want to go to sleep at night.

We’ve tried many things but open to suggestions 😂

essexplumber

7,751 posts

178 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
My 2yo daughter can be the same, up to about 18 months she slept fine practically ever night! Now she could fall asleep at 19:30 or 23:30!
We find that her daytime nap can be the key, she’d sleep for hours in the day if we let her.
So now we try to get her nap in as early as poss and keep it short, then if we’re lucky we can get her off by 20:00.
It’s probably a phase yours is in and will revert to normal soon enough but is she getting too much sleep in the day perhaps?
Light evenings don’t help either.

dmahon

2,717 posts

69 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
We have always had a strict routine almost down to the minute for bedtimes. Bath, dressed, curtains, books etc. I don’t think we ever veered from it since they were babies.

At the toddler age we were pretty strict with them. Never getting in our bed, telling off and putting back in bed if they get out etc. If you give an inch they will keep pushing boundaries.

Since then ours have slept soundly all night every night from 8pm-7am for the best part of 10 years.

We are pretty chilled parents usually, but I don’t think bedtimes are a time to compromise. Everyone is knackered and you can set habits than go on for years. Nip it in the bud quickly.

TheHighlander

Original Poster:

1,304 posts

203 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
We’re the same to a degree.

We have her in a good routine, bath, wind down, stories then bed but she has just went through some sort of change or she wants to punish us I’m undecided on this one ??

We don’t let her into our bed as we’re trying to teach her to stay in her bed.

During the day she gets around an hour nap.

We have a 10 month old as well. Covid was boring ??

Edited by TheHighlander on Saturday 9th July 07:39

Douglas Quaid

2,394 posts

90 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
We went through this with both of ours. I think all kids do it. After they’re in bed, when they got up and came in the room we were in we didn’t interact at all with either of ours. No cuddles, eye contact or acknowledgement, just put them straight back in bed. They soon get bored of getting out of bed if you do that.

Be strict with the story. If they get away with ‘one more story’ once, they’ll do it again and again. Ours knew they had one story and thats it so they’d better enjoy it. If you respond to a tantrum by giving them what they want, they’ll keep having tantrums.

Basically it’s their job to push the boundaries and it’s your job to set them. Once they realise you’re firm and won’t compromise and also that it’s really dull for them to get up as they’re not getting attention, they’ll stay in bed. Just keep it up.

Also remember with kids, everything is a phase. It won’t be like this forever. Be loving but be firm. It’s what they need.


FamousPheasant

602 posts

121 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
OP, I'm going through exactly the same right now.

My daughter slept perfectly until the last 8 weeks (she's 27 months). She now needs someone in her room to go down, or she screams the house down. We have found that if we put her down, let her have a tantrum for 15 mins, then go back in for 15 seems to be the best technique for us.

As for the middle of the night, we are splitting the duty. If I'm honest we have a small day bed in her room and I normally fall a sleep on that if she wakes up in the middle of the night. With someone in the room she's fine. We all get some sleep that way.

Hoping it's just a phase!

take-good-care-of-the-forest-dewey

5,664 posts

60 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Some are just like that. My son was 6 before he slept though. Main reason we stopped at one... It broke us. Then he just started sleeping through and Lemmy could have done a gig in his room and he wouldn't have stirred.

We tried EVERY trick in the book.

I know someone who had 5 kids - they were all like that. God knows how she coped.

mkjess123

144 posts

207 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Having experienced x5 daughters between us, I can confidently say that throughout their childhood (and beyond to a lesser degree) they will be testing you a number of times each day. If they can wrap you around their fingers they will!

Douglas Quaid above is refreshingly 100% correct.

You might think that it's difficult now, but wait until she / they are teenagers. You will look back and think how easy it was when they were younger.

TheHighlander

Original Poster:

1,304 posts

203 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
FamousPheasant said:
OP, I'm going through exactly the same right now.

My daughter slept perfectly until the last 8 weeks (she's 27 months). She now needs someone in her room to go down, or she screams the house down. We have found that if we put her down, let her have a tantrum for 15 mins, then go back in for 15 seems to be the best technique for us.

As for the middle of the night, we are splitting the duty. If I'm honest we have a small day bed in her room and I normally fall a sleep on that if she wakes up in the middle of the night. With someone in the room she's fine. We all get some sleep that way.

Hoping it's just a phase!
That’s bang on what’s happening with us.

I can cope with anything but lack of sleep, it’s destroying us 😂

They’re both so well behaved during the day aswell, my mum had the 2 year old last weekend and she slept perfect 😂 typical

ChocolateFrog

27,552 posts

178 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Sounds like you've been spoiled, 7-6 that's the absolute dream.

Our eldest, also 26 months, has slept through less than 10 times in total.

He's just this last month started going to sleep on his own without one of us there, that's been a game changer for us. He still wakes up between 10-4 and comes into our bed though.

I don't think there's a lot you can do if you don't just want to just let them cry it out, which we didn't.

Edit. We have a 10 month old too, Covid really does have a lot to answer for.

Edited by ChocolateFrog on Saturday 9th July 10:14

sam greenock

298 posts

125 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Douglas Quaid said:
We went through this with both of ours. I think all kids do it. After they’re in bed, when they got up and came in the room we were in we didn’t interact at all with either of ours. No cuddles, eye contact or acknowledgement, just put them straight back in bed. They soon get bored of getting out of bed if you do that.

Be strict with the story. If they get away with ‘one more story’ once, they’ll do it again and again. Ours knew they had one story and thats it so they’d better enjoy it. If you respond to a tantrum by giving them what they want, they’ll keep having tantrums.

Basically it’s their job to push the boundaries and it’s your job to set them. Once they realise you’re firm and won’t compromise and also that it’s really dull for them to get up as they’re not getting attention, they’ll stay in bed. Just keep it up.

Also remember with kids, everything is a phase. It won’t be like this forever. Be loving but be firm. It’s what they need.
This above is good advice....

If you still feel you need some reassurance, maybe try speaking to your Health Visitor

Years ago my 2 god-daughters usually only went to sleep at night if there mum n dad drove around with them in car - sometimes it would take 10 minutes, other times it could be over an hour - sometimes even doing it in early hours to get them back over to sleep. My mum ( a Health Visitor) thought they were nuts and told them so many times - she was a tough love type when it came to this sorta thing - but it worked for them

ED209

5,824 posts

249 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Sleep regression, we were there about 6 months ago. It will pass but it is testing.

TheHighlander

Original Poster:

1,304 posts

203 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Thanks everyone.

Spoke to the health visitor the other day when she was up seeing the 10 month old. She gave us some tips and finished with “good luck”

Finally everyone is being honest as when I speak to my pals it would appear they’re kids are perfect sleepers.

It’s tough going as we feel we get no time to ourselves or very little due to her fighting sleep at night then when she goes down we’re both shattered so end up going to bed aswell 😂


TheHighlander

Original Poster:

1,304 posts

203 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
ChocolateFrog said:
Sounds like you've been spoiled, 7-6 that's the absolute dream.

Our eldest, also 26 months, has slept through less than 10 times in total.

He's just this last month started going to sleep on his own without one of us there, that's been a game changer for us. He still wakes up between 10-4 and comes into our bed though.

I don't think there's a lot you can do if you don't just want to just let them cry it out, which we didn't.

Edit. We have a 10 month old too, Covid really does have a lot to answer for.

Edited by ChocolateFrog on Saturday 9th July 10:14
😂😂Covid certainly does.

She went down in 10mins tonight, the wife was out with her friends I got both of them down no problem.

It’s like a lottery that we only occasionally win.

10 month old is the dream, bottle, bed. Job done

Skyedriver

18,509 posts

287 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
mkjess123 said:
Douglas Quaid above is refreshingly 100% correct.

You might think that it's difficult now, but wait until she / they are teenagers. You will look back and think how easy it was when they were younger.
Yup!

elanfan

5,527 posts

232 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Buy a book called. Toddler Taming. It works

Cheap as Chios on eBay

deebs

555 posts

65 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Douglas Quaid said:
We went through this with both of ours. I think all kids do it. After they’re in bed, when they got up and came in the room we were in we didn’t interact at all with either of ours. No cuddles, eye contact or acknowledgement, just put them straight back in bed. They soon get bored of getting out of bed if you do that.

Be strict with the story. If they get away with ‘one more story’ once, they’ll do it again and again. Ours knew they had one story and thats it so they’d better enjoy it. If you respond to a tantrum by giving them what they want, they’ll keep having tantrums.

Basically it’s their job to push the boundaries and it’s your job to set them. Once they realise you’re firm and won’t compromise and also that it’s really dull for them to get up as they’re not getting attention, they’ll stay in bed. Just keep it up.

Also remember with kids, everything is a phase. It won’t be like this forever. Be loving but be firm. It’s what they need.
Agree with this. My next door neighbour has a kid who is 4 and they are still sitting with her until she sleeps. Get it finished now or it will drag on for years.

MOMACC

321 posts

42 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
We had a very similar situation.

Our kid is 3 now.

Needs one of us next to her to fall asleep, wakes up middle of the night.

We quickly got fed up of trying to put her back to sleep, arguing and me and the mrs falling out. We just let her get into our bed when she wakes up middle of the night and one of us heads off to the spare room.

We prefer all getting some kio rather than falling out at 3am.

DoubleSix

11,837 posts

181 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
Douglas Quaid said:
We went through this with both of ours. I think all kids do it. After they’re in bed, when they got up and came in the room we were in we didn’t interact at all with either of ours. No cuddles, eye contact or acknowledgement, just put them straight back in bed. They soon get bored of getting out of bed if you do that.

Be strict with the story. If they get away with ‘one more story’ once, they’ll do it again and again. Ours knew they had one story and thats it so they’d better enjoy it. If you respond to a tantrum by giving them what they want, they’ll keep having tantrums.

Basically it’s their job to push the boundaries and it’s your job to set them. Once they realise you’re firm and won’t compromise and also that it’s really dull for them to get up as they’re not getting attention, they’ll stay in bed. Just keep it up.

Also remember with kids, everything is a phase. It won’t be like this forever. Be loving but be firm. It’s what they need.
This is all the advice you need really.

It’s not rocket science.

wombleh

1,876 posts

127 months

Saturday 9th July 2022
quotequote all
I got a decent cot bed to use if ours were up in the night and wouldn’t settle. I’d just go to sleep on that in their room, they’d tend to be ok going back to sleep then as you’re still in with them, but you can still get most of a nights sleep too.