Some family advice please

[Familyconfusion]

The initial message was deleted from this topic on 21 April 2022 at 08:46

[interstellar]

It sounds tough and sorry to hear about your Mum.

It’s complicated but I think you should seek professional help straightaway in my view.

The is a lot of sadness and difficult events to make sense of.

[Brummiebeau]

Agree with poster above but if i read correctly..

your daughters mother sold her flat to ''walter mitty'' and then started dating ? are they living together or just dating ?
Off topic but why did she sell and move into a rented property?

Who does your daughter live with? you or her mom or her mom and the new guy ?

I think just make sure your daughter is ok first and foremost. And wherever she is staying is stable.
There isn't much your sister can do but deal with the situation of her ex moving on .

[Wheatsheaf]

Sorry to hear about the difficult time you're having.

To boil that down, your ex-partner (with whom you have a ten-year old daughter) is now seeing your sister's ex-partner. The parties with a major problem with this are a) your sister, who is not currently speaking to you and b) your daughter, who is extremely confused.

It sounds like you have not remonstrated/flown off the handle over this rather odd situation with anyone over this which is good in my opinion. I would try to stick with this and act as a supporting role for everyone. No judgement, no comment, and don't get drawn in. However don't alienate anyone in doing so. (I appreciate this may be easier said than done).

Your daughter I guess will be the toughest one but I guess just be there for her, offer to talk it over, "nowt as queer as folk" type approach if she questions the whys are wherefores (which is pretty much the truth of it, all sorts of people hook up with all sorts of partners all the time).

It does sound as though you could definitely do with talking this over with somebody neutral in a professional setting. My thoughts are with your dad also.

[Familyconfusion]

Brummiebeau said:

Agree with poster above but if i read correctly..

your daughters mother sold her flat to ''walter mitty'' and then started dating ? are they living together or just dating ?
Off topic but why did she sell and move into a rented property?

Who does your daughter live with? you or her mom or her mom and the new guy ?

I think just make sure your daughter is ok first and foremost. And wherever she is staying is stable.
There isn't much your sister can do but deal with the situation of her ex moving on .

They’re not living together, and I think they started seeing each other around about the time she sold her house to him (not completed yet, so god knows what will happen).

My daughter lives 70% with her mum, 30% with me.

And yes, my daughter is 100% my priority.

[Familyconfusion]

Wheatsheaf said:

Sorry to hear about the difficult time you're having.

To boil that down, your ex-partner (with whom you have a ten-year old daughter) is now seeing your sister's ex-partner. The parties with a major problem with this are a) your sister, who is not currently speaking to you and b) your daughter, who is extremely confused.

It sounds like you have not remonstrated/flown off the handle over this rather odd situation with anyone over this which is good in my opinion. I would try to stick with this and act as a supporting role for everyone. No judgement, no comment, and don't get drawn in. However don't alienate anyone in doing so. (I appreciate this may be easier said than done).

Your daughter I guess will be the toughest one but I guess just be there for her, offer to talk it over, "nowt as queer as folk" type approach if she questions the whys are wherefores (which is pretty much the truth of it, all sorts of people hook up with all sorts of partners all the time).

It does sound as though you could definitely do with talking this over with somebody neutral in a professional setting. My thoughts are with your dad also.

Thanks. You’re entirely correct in that I don’t want to judge/comment etc., and the worst thing I could do is fly off the handle (even though at times it is very frustrating). If I’m entirely honest I just want things how they used to be, with everyone getting along (even with my wife and ex), but that’s an impossibility.