Quick thoughts on Autism
Discussion
I know for a fact I don’t have it and am fairly normal but my mum has said on a number of occasions I have it and has said it again to someone just now -high functioning autism was the term .diagnosed by herself with little to go on
(There was no testing or diagnosis etc but i spoken to friends on the matter and they always just said i don’t have it in any way .being in a mindset like can also bad for mental health
To clarify I’m living with parents at the moment but not out of choice ,a lot of the time I chose not to socialise with my mums friends etc in the house as I’m not in the slightest interested in pointless small talk or my mum being the centre of attention or trying to put words in my mouth type thing
I’m thinking now I’ll just do the test for the sake of it just so she stops saying it ! But even so why should I have to . She deliberately took one of her woman friends upstairs just so she could say I’m high functioning autistic.wtf , just seems like another form of complex mind games and why do they need to know her opinions .I do not talk to her much at all anymore as A lot of the behaviour over the years has been borderline gaslighting to varying degrees .somedays I don’t sleep until 4am
(There was no testing or diagnosis etc but i spoken to friends on the matter and they always just said i don’t have it in any way .being in a mindset like can also bad for mental health
To clarify I’m living with parents at the moment but not out of choice ,a lot of the time I chose not to socialise with my mums friends etc in the house as I’m not in the slightest interested in pointless small talk or my mum being the centre of attention or trying to put words in my mouth type thing
I’m thinking now I’ll just do the test for the sake of it just so she stops saying it ! But even so why should I have to . She deliberately took one of her woman friends upstairs just so she could say I’m high functioning autistic.wtf , just seems like another form of complex mind games and why do they need to know her opinions .I do not talk to her much at all anymore as A lot of the behaviour over the years has been borderline gaslighting to varying degrees .somedays I don’t sleep until 4am
Jack.77 said:
randlemarcus said:
Move out, for both your sakes.
But why insult someone like that .asshole would have been better Don't worry about the autism thing. If it hasn't been diagnosed yet, you probably don't have a clinical dose. You've been on PH for a while, so you are almost certainly on the spectrum though
I guess the issue is that if you are diagnosed as high functioning, so f
king what?
I'm undiagnosed (self-diagnosed) as high functioning autism but I feel it just explains some oddities.
So what? I'm not going to change, I was happy how I was, I'm happy with who I am now, I'm not going to take meds to make me "normal".
The older I get, the more I wonder what normal actually is. It's society's idea of what is acceptable, I suppose, because someone who can't always be bothered with stty small talk is just not fun to be with, especially with an understanding of psychology and trauma.
One minute you're talking about beach holidays and the next you're telling me how you never resolved the fact that your uncle touched you in the garden shed when you were 3.
I guess small talk means you can make noises with your mouth without having to think too much and face dark truths about your past.
Oh, so that's why people like small talk.
The weather was ridiculous this evening, one minute sunny, next minute snowing and blisteringly cold wind.
Still, mustn't grumble.
king what? I'm undiagnosed (self-diagnosed) as high functioning autism but I feel it just explains some oddities.
So what? I'm not going to change, I was happy how I was, I'm happy with who I am now, I'm not going to take meds to make me "normal".
The older I get, the more I wonder what normal actually is. It's society's idea of what is acceptable, I suppose, because someone who can't always be bothered with s
tty small talk is just not fun to be with, especially with an understanding of psychology and trauma.One minute you're talking about beach holidays and the next you're telling me how you never resolved the fact that your uncle touched you in the garden shed when you were 3.
I guess small talk means you can make noises with your mouth without having to think too much and face dark truths about your past.
Oh, so that's why people like small talk.
The weather was ridiculous this evening, one minute sunny, next minute snowing and blisteringly cold wind.
Still, mustn't grumble.
Legacywr said:
The fact that you’ve started this thread, with that post, gives an indication that she might be right?
Are you sure she’s trying to belittle you with it?
To be honest I might act a certain way only around her as a direct result of her actions over the years .mostly I don’t talk much or engage in conversation as better this way .re gaslighting this is the advice people give .Are you sure she’s trying to belittle you with it?
An autism diagnosis is good because it can help people and allow them to access the help they need but it is also a social stigma for many people.
I know autistic people and people with various other neurological variations and the more I know them the more I realise that it is a part of their personality and that you wouldn’t want to change that. The cliche is that autistic people are emotionally backwards but I know quite a few exceptions to that.
As to amateur diagnosis I would treat that with the contempt it probably deserves.
I know autistic people and people with various other neurological variations and the more I know them the more I realise that it is a part of their personality and that you wouldn’t want to change that. The cliche is that autistic people are emotionally backwards but I know quite a few exceptions to that.
As to amateur diagnosis I would treat that with the contempt it probably deserves.
Jack.77 said:
To clarify I’m living with parents at the moment but not out of choice ,a lot of the time I chose not to socialise with my mums friends etc in the house as I’m not in the slightest interested in pointless small talk or my mum being the centre of attention or trying to put words in my mouth type thing.
I find this happens a lot nowadays amongst people who yearn for validation amongst their social peers. Some people cannot live without idle chitchat or small talk and if you don't join in for the ride then you are *nudge nudge wink wink* "not quite right". They certainly cannot grasp or accept the fact that they are just not your cup of tea and thus a label or some means of justification for your behaviour around them is required. It sounds like she has possibly justified the strained relationship between you to her friends by describing the issues as yours and "high functioning autistm" is a sexy title for it. "Look, he's not a
. He's autistic. He just can't help treat me like a . It's not his fault." I'd agree with the first post response, get out. It's not healthy for you in the long run. Even if you were to find out that you were somewhere on the spectrum she has no right to parade you in front of her friends like a zoo animal.
beambeam1 said:
I find this happens a lot nowadays amongst people who yearn for validation amongst their social peers. Some people cannot live without idle chitchat or small talk and if you don't join in for the ride then you are *nudge nudge wink wink* "not quite right". They certainly cannot grasp or accept the fact that they are just not your cup of tea and thus a label or some means of justification for your behaviour around them is required.
It sounds like she has possibly justified the strained relationship between you to her friends by describing the issues as yours and "high functioning autistm" is a sexy title for it. "Look, he's not a. He's autistic. He just can't help treat me like a . It's not his fault."
I'd agree with the first post response, get out. It's not healthy for you in the long run. Even if you were to find out that you were somewhere on the spectrum she has no right to parade you in front of her friends like a zoo animal.
So in a proactive conversation which is good ,in moving out suggestion ,I’m paying with my limited income to keep a flat empty some 4 hrs away .this is the worst part of having somewhere too far away .I’ve considering selling it but prices nearer here much higher so would be short .at the same time I feel I need to keep it to have some security of somewhere I can move into if I feel I really need to ,without that I might just feel completely trapped It sounds like she has possibly justified the strained relationship between you to her friends by describing the issues as yours and "high functioning autistm" is a sexy title for it. "Look, he's not a
. He's autistic. He just can't help treat me like a . It's not his fault." I'd agree with the first post response, get out. It's not healthy for you in the long run. Even if you were to find out that you were somewhere on the spectrum she has no right to parade you in front of her friends like a zoo animal.
Monkeylegend said:
Handy. Never been formally diagnosed but its been suggested by some medical professionals I know. 
In the first instance get properly tested and diagnosed as appropriate. Start with a visit to your GP and take things from there. Be patient, it probably won’t be a quick process. Also be frank, open and honest when discussing the matter with any health professional.
Friends that you have discussed this with are quite possibly telling you what they think you want to hear. Supportive but not necessarily what you need.
Nothing to be ashamed of in any case and it’s best to know one way or another. Good luck!
Friends that you have discussed this with are quite possibly telling you what they think you want to hear. Supportive but not necessarily what you need.
Nothing to be ashamed of in any case and it’s best to know one way or another. Good luck!
I don’t know what to make of it all really,just seems like labelling with Autism is irrelevant to my life and makes things even more confusing when I’ve got enough st going on .
.more likely that any such issues are more complex psychology related stuff which started some years ago .school in general was a massive wasted opportunity and just a waste of valuable time .in the end when it came to leaving day I never even collected exam results .never felt able to talk to anyone about important things even my family and still wouldn’t if I was in the same scenario now .my brothers were also just self interested and didn’t care .
t going on ..more likely that any such issues are more complex psychology related stuff which started some years ago .school in general was a massive wasted opportunity and just a waste of valuable time .in the end when it came to leaving day I never even collected exam results .never felt able to talk to anyone about important things even my family and still wouldn’t if I was in the same scenario now .my brothers were also just self interested and didn’t care .
HI Jack.
Going to be careful here and say the following with the caveat that it comes from the right place with your well-being the priority - and with a modicum of understanding on human behaviour.
I would say that your Mum may well have a point. And you are wise to consider being tested.
Your various posts over the past year on any number of subjects all feature the same sub-text; that being the constant desire to work out why you are like you are. You therefore recognise that something's a little wrong somewhere.
Autism is not a label. It's a condition amongst many which exist on a spectrum so wide that in one shape or another, everybody is on. They key is simply to work out where exactly you are on this. That's not something you can do yourself so go find out! If something comes back, knowing won't cure you but it will help to shape how you approach life which will be of immeasurable benefit to you.
And if you're all good, then you can make peace with the fact that you've simply some character quirks regardless of why.
Either way, it'll keep Mum off you're back and give you clarity going forward.
Good luck.
Going to be careful here and say the following with the caveat that it comes from the right place with your well-being the priority - and with a modicum of understanding on human behaviour.
I would say that your Mum may well have a point. And you are wise to consider being tested.
Your various posts over the past year on any number of subjects all feature the same sub-text; that being the constant desire to work out why you are like you are. You therefore recognise that something's a little wrong somewhere.
Autism is not a label. It's a condition amongst many which exist on a spectrum so wide that in one shape or another, everybody is on. They key is simply to work out where exactly you are on this. That's not something you can do yourself so go find out! If something comes back, knowing won't cure you but it will help to shape how you approach life which will be of immeasurable benefit to you.
And if you're all good, then you can make peace with the fact that you've simply some character quirks regardless of why.
Either way, it'll keep Mum off you're back and give you clarity going forward.
Good luck.
StevieBee said:
HI Jack.
Going to be careful here and say the following with the caveat that it comes from the right place with your well-being the priority - and with a modicum of understanding on human behaviour.
I would say that your Mum may well have a point. And you are wise to consider being tested.
Your various posts over the past year on any number of subjects all feature the same sub-text; that being the constant desire to work out why you are like you are. You therefore recognise that something's a little wrong somewhere.
Autism is not a label. It's a condition amongst many which exist on a spectrum so wide that in one shape or another, everybody is on. They key is simply to work out where exactly you are on this. That's not something you can do yourself so go find out! If something comes back, knowing won't cure you but it will help to shape how you approach life which will be of immeasurable benefit to you.
And if you're all good, then you can make peace with the fact that you've simply some character quirks regardless of why.
Either way, it'll keep Mum off you're back and give you clarity going forward.
Good luck.
Hi Steve .yes I remember you had posted on other discussions.
I mean though she can be irrational some of the time and overthinking things a lot so I obviously question her own opinion and if it’s at all valid .in example when I’m away for a few weeks I just want to get away from it all and she can phone a few times everyday just to check on what I’m doing .I just see that as irritating as I already said I’d phone if anything’s up ...
.as others have said I think the answer just lies in moving out at some point as a few weeks ago when I wasn’t here then was much happier with a better outlook on life. then today the cycle starts again with less positivity and more self doubt .on the plus side I did discover a new neighbour is a councillor so might try a few sessions as first impressions was that he has a good understanding of human behaviour and highly qualified
Going to be careful here and say the following with the caveat that it comes from the right place with your well-being the priority - and with a modicum of understanding on human behaviour.
I would say that your Mum may well have a point. And you are wise to consider being tested.
Your various posts over the past year on any number of subjects all feature the same sub-text; that being the constant desire to work out why you are like you are. You therefore recognise that something's a little wrong somewhere.
Autism is not a label. It's a condition amongst many which exist on a spectrum so wide that in one shape or another, everybody is on. They key is simply to work out where exactly you are on this. That's not something you can do yourself so go find out! If something comes back, knowing won't cure you but it will help to shape how you approach life which will be of immeasurable benefit to you.
And if you're all good, then you can make peace with the fact that you've simply some character quirks regardless of why.
Either way, it'll keep Mum off you're back and give you clarity going forward.
Good luck.
Hi Steve .yes I remember you had posted on other discussions.
I mean though she can be irrational some of the time and overthinking things a lot so I obviously question her own opinion and if it’s at all valid .in example when I’m away for a few weeks I just want to get away from it all and she can phone a few times everyday just to check on what I’m doing .I just see that as irritating as I already said I’d phone if anything’s up ...
.as others have said I think the answer just lies in moving out at some point as a few weeks ago when I wasn’t here then was much happier with a better outlook on life. then today the cycle starts again with less positivity and more self doubt .on the plus side I did discover a new neighbour is a councillor so might try a few sessions as first impressions was that he has a good understanding of human behaviour and highly qualified
Can relate quite a bit to this.
Is the not wanting to join in on conversation paragraph her reasoning? Also, get out. Long story short I've been there done that not spoke to my mum in over 2 years because of past events, gas lighting inc. If its anything like my situation things will only get worse and when you're out you'll wonder why you didn't get out sooner. I was in the process of buying my first house when it hit the fan so had to go and live with my dad and now step mum but I wish I'd done it a lot lot earlier than I did.
Quick thought?my sister is severely autistic and the spectrum is broad. I feel like the minute you do something slightly odd or like something a certain way then people think you might be on it. Don't do anything you don't want to,do your thing,look after yourself.
Is the not wanting to join in on conversation paragraph her reasoning? Also, get out. Long story short I've been there done that not spoke to my mum in over 2 years because of past events, gas lighting inc. If its anything like my situation things will only get worse and when you're out you'll wonder why you didn't get out sooner. I was in the process of buying my first house when it hit the fan so had to go and live with my dad and now step mum but I wish I'd done it a lot lot earlier than I did.
Quick thought?my sister is severely autistic and the spectrum is broad. I feel like the minute you do something slightly odd or like something a certain way then people think you might be on it. Don't do anything you don't want to,do your thing,look after yourself.
You need to give someone a test for something unwittingly otherwise it's pointless.
If you are determined you are not AS then you'll answer any questions about it accordingly.
If you're open minded enough about yourself (which is quite difficult) you could do an AS test yourself and be honest about it. Problem is you can talk yourself into or out of a diagnoses
If you are determined you are not AS then you'll answer any questions about it accordingly.
If you're open minded enough about yourself (which is quite difficult) you could do an AS test yourself and be honest about it. Problem is you can talk yourself into or out of a diagnoses
Killer2005 said:
Monkeylegend said:
Handy. Never been formally diagnosed but its been suggested by some medical professionals I know. I'd just put it personally as growing up as an only child and not being the most outgoing in situations I don't feel comfortable in.
Don't let it hinder myself. Once I get to know you s
t gets crazy! Ryyy said:
Can relate quite a bit to this.
Is the not wanting to join in on conversation paragraph her reasoning? Also, get out. Long story short I've been there done that not spoke to my mum in over 2 years because of past events, gas lighting inc. If its anything like my situation things will only get worse and when you're out you'll wonder why you didn't get out sooner. I was in the process of buying my first house when it hit the fan so had to go and live with my dad and now step mum but I wish I'd done it a lot lot earlier than I did.
Quick thought?my sister is severely autistic and the spectrum is broad. I feel like the minute you do something slightly odd or like something a certain way then people think you might be on it. Don't do anything you don't want to,do your thing,look after yourself.
That’s interesting.I assume the reasoning is partly down to not wanting to join conversation yes and hiding away a bit and trying to have my own small bit of personal space which sometimes is still too much to ask for .she also does short term fostering with difficult kids at times and this only makes things harder especially as it’s like it makes you think a lot about when I was that age .sometimes considered just sleeping in car or garden .was that pissed off .Is the not wanting to join in on conversation paragraph her reasoning? Also, get out. Long story short I've been there done that not spoke to my mum in over 2 years because of past events, gas lighting inc. If its anything like my situation things will only get worse and when you're out you'll wonder why you didn't get out sooner. I was in the process of buying my first house when it hit the fan so had to go and live with my dad and now step mum but I wish I'd done it a lot lot earlier than I did.
Quick thought?my sister is severely autistic and the spectrum is broad. I feel like the minute you do something slightly odd or like something a certain way then people think you might be on it. Don't do anything you don't want to,do your thing,look after yourself.
My dad never wanted the troubled kids either but just went along with it for the sake of it ,funnily enough I’m still convinced it was just an attempt to piss me off and if I wasn’t here then she would do something else instead
Edited by Jack.77 on Thursday 31st March 23:06
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