BPD......how do you deal with it?

[smifffymoto]

We hospitalised our son a while ago as we thought his depression diagnosis was wrong or there was something else going on.
There was,he was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and now all the dots join up and we can see traits were there when he was younger.

The problem now is we’re struggling,sinking,drowning and drowning quickly.

So I’m after help from anybody who has experience of dealing with BPD.

[Lotus Notes]

I've researched this, it's treatable and you'll be in for the long-haul. I found this guy very good at explaining it

It's very challenging to deal with as a support network, a diagnosis helps and DBT appears to be the way forwards.

Edited by Lotus Notes on Sunday 14th November 22:15

[Mastodon2]

How old is your son? Has he been commited to long-term inpatient care?

I have no personal experience with BPD, though I did go to school with someone who was later diagnosed with it in their 20s. They were outwardly normal, if perhaps eccentric, but suffered a mental break of sorts, losing their job and apparently seeming to have to start their life again from scratch, while still suffering from repeated episodes of the various mental ailments that come with BPD.

[smifffymoto]

Thanks for replying.
He doesn’t seem to want help or can’t be bothered to continue therapy.His only way of coping is by smoking cannabis,which is a problem within a problem.

[Lotus Notes]

smifffymoto said:

He doesn’t seem to want help or can’t be bothered to continue therapy.
His only way of coping is by smoking cannabis,which is a problem within a problem.

This is why BPD is hard to treat, a moving target as both these traits are part of the illness.
3 or 4 weeks of in-patient care would be a good starting point, a strict regime imposed by medical professionals, each with an understanding of the emotional meltdowns. He'll need structure and motivation to get out of bed in the morning.

The difficulty is finding it in the UK.

P.S. I take it that you're aware of the suicide risk and the need to lock things away.

[smifffymoto]

Lotus Notes said:

smifffymoto said:

He doesn’t seem to want help or can’t be bothered to continue therapy.
His only way of coping is by smoking cannabis,which is a problem within a problem.

This is why BPD is hard to treat, a moving target as both these traits are part of the illness.
3 or 4 weeks of in-patient care would be a good starting point, a strict regime imposed by medical professionals, each with an understanding of the emotional meltdowns. He'll need structure and motivation to get out of bed in the morning.

The difficulty is finding it in the UK.

P.S. I take it that you're aware of the suicide risk and the need to lock things away.

We are in France so things work a little differently but they work.
I know about BPD,we are just stuggling to cope with it.The depression isn’t as bad now but the BPD is now more noticeable,the highs and lows and everything in between can happen in the space of 30 minutes.
He is 23,no friends,no prospect of making friends,can’t drive,can’t learn to drive anyway because of the medication he is on.
It’s so desperately sad,heartbreaking in fact.
Couple that to him seeing his sister study law at Exeter,have a boyfriend,have friends etc.He wants all that but just feels a failure and the solution to it all is death.

[Lotus Notes]

The feelings of losing out and then getting empathy is a form of control..again part of the illness.

I'm in France also, you need to get a referal to a 'maison de repos psychiatrique' - I think most are private but the Sécurité Sociale should pay for it and stays can be in-patient or out-patient. The former gives the person a rest and support is close to hand. Look up the Ramsay Group.

You probably know this already, but the state funds a Psychiatrist, you'll have to fund a Psychologist if deemed appropriate.