Gay, religion and insanity
Discussion
You may guess whats coming if you follow me.
Im having trouble when I think about meeting up with a guy, Because I was brought up being told kissing girls in public is wrong, therefore anything with other boys is disgusting and wrong im not struggling with severe nausea vomiting and tummy trouble when I think about meeting other males.
Even though im not remotely religious I pray that I will feel better apologises for my sins and ask for forgiveness either from god or dead relatives who I believe are punishing me for my thoughts and desires.
Then I think its just guilt in my head because I was brought up to believe its wrong.
Guess I need therapy or maybe it is wrong and I deserve the illnesses I get when I think this way?
Im having trouble when I think about meeting up with a guy, Because I was brought up being told kissing girls in public is wrong, therefore anything with other boys is disgusting and wrong im not struggling with severe nausea vomiting and tummy trouble when I think about meeting other males.
Even though im not remotely religious I pray that I will feel better apologises for my sins and ask for forgiveness either from god or dead relatives who I believe are punishing me for my thoughts and desires.
Then I think its just guilt in my head because I was brought up to believe its wrong.
Guess I need therapy or maybe it is wrong and I deserve the illnesses I get when I think this way?
So you’re meeting another chap but feel that it’s wrong despite having potentially romantic feelings for each other?
Just meet him and don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s completely normal. If your upbringing is making you uncomfortable with it, do it anyway and you’ll realise there’s nothing wrong
Just meet him and don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s completely normal. If your upbringing is making you uncomfortable with it, do it anyway and you’ll realise there’s nothing wrong
There a 4 references to the abomination of homosexuality in the bible, and 25 references to the abomination of eating shellfish. If you're not beating yourself up about eating a prawn sandwich, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over being gay. Based on bible warnings, God is over 6 times more bothered about oyster bars than gay bars.
I don't believe in God, but have a look at the vid below. If he exists, he has all this going on. I can't image, given the enormity of it all, he's got time to worry about where you stick your willy.
[url]
[/quote]
I don't believe in God, but have a look at the vid below. If he exists, he has all this going on. I can't image, given the enormity of it all, he's got time to worry about where you stick your willy.
[url]
[/quote]
Edited by TwigtheWonderkid on Sunday 19th September 13:16
TwigtheWonderkid said:
There a 4 references to the abomination of homosexuality in the bible, and 25 references to the abomination of eating shellfish. If you're not beating yourself up about eating crab or lobster, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over being gay. Based on bible warnings, God is over 6 times more bothered about oyster bars than gay bars.
lmao. Thanks for thatA500leroy said:
You may guess whats coming if you follow me.
Im having trouble when I think about meeting up with a guy, Because I was brought up being told kissing girls in public is wrong, therefore anything with other boys is disgusting and wrong im not struggling with severe nausea vomiting and tummy trouble when I think about meeting other males.
Even though im not remotely religious I pray that I will feel better apologises for my sins and ask for forgiveness either from god or dead relatives who I believe are punishing me for my thoughts and desires.
Then I think its just guilt in my head because I was brought up to believe its wrong.
Guess I need therapy or maybe it is wrong and I deserve the illnesses I get when I think this way?
You do not deserve illness so please do not think that.Im having trouble when I think about meeting up with a guy, Because I was brought up being told kissing girls in public is wrong, therefore anything with other boys is disgusting and wrong im not struggling with severe nausea vomiting and tummy trouble when I think about meeting other males.
Even though im not remotely religious I pray that I will feel better apologises for my sins and ask for forgiveness either from god or dead relatives who I believe are punishing me for my thoughts and desires.
Then I think its just guilt in my head because I was brought up to believe its wrong.
Guess I need therapy or maybe it is wrong and I deserve the illnesses I get when I think this way?
I am so sorry that your parents brainwashed you to feel this way.
BabySharkDooDooDooDooDooDoo said:
So you’re meeting another chap but feel that it’s wrong despite having potentially romantic feelings for each other?
Just meet him and don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s completely normal. If your upbringing is making you uncomfortable with it, do it anyway and you’ll realise there’s nothing wrong
Cheers mate, youd think after 25 years id not beat myself up, but I still feel in the gutter everytimeJust meet him and don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s completely normal. If your upbringing is making you uncomfortable with it, do it anyway and you’ll realise there’s nothing wrong
Just do it and don't think too much about the religious stuff. Leave that for others.
And you won't get dodgy diseases if you practice safe sex.
You mention therapy with a certain dismissive attitude but I'd highly recommend doing it if these thoughts are getting in the way of your happiness.
And you won't get dodgy diseases if you practice safe sex.
You mention therapy with a certain dismissive attitude but I'd highly recommend doing it if these thoughts are getting in the way of your happiness.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
stuff
Brilliant.I'm going against the grain here, I'd hold off pursuing other people for now (unless it happens naturally), love yourself before you love others. Last thing you want it to put your issues on them and doom a relationship (potentially). Try therapy, work out why you feel the way you do, you'll be happier with yourself and then naturally more attractive to others.
Still think you should try and socialise with other gay men, just hang out and make some gay friends. Lots of people struggle with internalised homophobia and other gay men will have a better understanding of what you’re going through.
There are also tons of online resources and groups for people experiencing exactly what you’re experiencing - which is common in many parts of the world.
There are podcasts to, which might fit in with your work, and there are tons of stories similar to yours.
There are also tons of online resources and groups for people experiencing exactly what you’re experiencing - which is common in many parts of the world.
There are podcasts to, which might fit in with your work, and there are tons of stories similar to yours.
Well kissing and groping in public whether with a man or woman isn’t really cool after you get out of your teens. But apart from that if you’re worried about meeting and dating etc don’t worry about what people think. It’s none of their business and it isn’t as if a gay couple is anything out of the ordinary to see nowadays anyway. I really don’t think unless you’re in a really rough area anyone is going to give a s
t about it.
You’re made the way you’re made, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. It isn’t as if you’re doing anything wrong.
t about it. You’re made the way you’re made, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. It isn’t as if you’re doing anything wrong.
A500leroy said:
Cheers guys, the rational part of my brain knows this, but when you suddenly start throwing up because youve agreed to meet up with a guy you can easily put 2 and 2 together and make 6.
Im gonna have to try and sort it out somehow else its gonna be an elderly old age.
Sorry to hear of your troubles OP. Im gonna have to try and sort it out somehow else its gonna be an elderly old age.
With that said, are you sure that you're reacting in this way because of your up bringing. Or deep down, are you engaging in negative behaviours?
This post is not about me, however, I have mentioned in a previous post about my history. I do engage in what I call negative behavour, when I am feeling low / vulnerable I seek casual sex, in the hope that I can emotionally 'win' against someone else. It's an awful thing that I do, and I hate myself for it. That said, I feel exactly the same as you, leading up to it, because deep down, I know that I'm on the way to meeting someone for all the wrong reasons.
That may be worth exploring and looking in at yourself and determining exactly what is driving you to want to meet up with an person (guy or girl makes no difference in my book).
I totally understand the feelings of guilt and associated shame post hook up - maybe that's that just not you buddy.... no shame in that. Perhaps you need to get to know someone first and build a level of trust - I'm no expert, but I have a traumatic past when it comes to intimate relationships and you really need to look inward and begin to understand your true desires and motivations.
PM if you'd like to chat more
Chris
Douglas Quaid said:
Are you sure it’s not just nerves because of an impending date? That is common whether gay or straight.
The NHS used to run healthyminds anxiety courses and I thought they helped a lot. It was great to see that I wasn't the only one worried about XYZ.
Might be worth trying to see if one is being ran in your area. They didn't care about anyone's background , what or why they were anxious and most of the lessons just ended up with the group having a chat.
I am reminded of a song by Frank Turner.
The words.
Brothers and sisters, have you heard the news?
The storm has lifted and there's nothing to lose,
So swap your confirmation for your dancing shoes,
Because there never was no God.
Step out of the darkness and onto the streets,
Forget about the fast, let's have a carnival feast,
Raise up your lowered head and hear the liberation beat,
Because there never was no God.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
But there is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
No cowering in the dark before these overbearing priests,
Not waiting until we die until we restitute the meek,
No blaming all our failings on imaginary beasts,
Because there never was no God.
No fighting over land your distant fathers told you of,
Not spilling blood for those who have never spread a drop of love,
No finger pointing justified by phantoms up above,
Because there never was no God.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
There is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
I know you're scared of dying man and I am too,
But just pretending it's not happening isn't gonna see us through,
If we accept that there's an end game and we haven't got much time,
Then in the here and now then we can try and do things right.
We'd be our own Salvation Army and together we'd believe
In all the wondrous things mere mortals can achieve
Well I've known beauty in the stillness of cathedrals in the day,
I've sung 'Glory Hallelujah' won't wash my sins away?
But now I'm singing my refrain and this is what I say,
I say there never was no God.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
But there is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
There is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
Songwriters: Francis Edward Turner
https://frank-turner.com/tracks/glory-hallelujah/
https://youtu.be/qjrN7ZGyd7E
Note. My parents are born again dance in the aisle happy clappy, Welsh Methodists.
I told them in 1982, that if god existed, most of the people who go to church, would probably go to hell.
And I wouldn't be going to church because I wasn't a hypocrite.
Jesus preached Tolerance. And Love.
Sometime later Religion was used by those in power to regulate the masses.
To the OP, if you believe in God pray for guidance.
If you don't get guidance. Do what the fk you want and only ask for forgiveness for the things you've done that hurt others and stop feeling guilt.
If you don't believe, just be kind to those around you.
The words.
Brothers and sisters, have you heard the news?
The storm has lifted and there's nothing to lose,
So swap your confirmation for your dancing shoes,
Because there never was no God.
Step out of the darkness and onto the streets,
Forget about the fast, let's have a carnival feast,
Raise up your lowered head and hear the liberation beat,
Because there never was no God.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
But there is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
No cowering in the dark before these overbearing priests,
Not waiting until we die until we restitute the meek,
No blaming all our failings on imaginary beasts,
Because there never was no God.
No fighting over land your distant fathers told you of,
Not spilling blood for those who have never spread a drop of love,
No finger pointing justified by phantoms up above,
Because there never was no God.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
There is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
I know you're scared of dying man and I am too,
But just pretending it's not happening isn't gonna see us through,
If we accept that there's an end game and we haven't got much time,
Then in the here and now then we can try and do things right.
We'd be our own Salvation Army and together we'd believe
In all the wondrous things mere mortals can achieve
Well I've known beauty in the stillness of cathedrals in the day,
I've sung 'Glory Hallelujah' won't wash my sins away?
But now I'm singing my refrain and this is what I say,
I say there never was no God.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
But there is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
There is no God,
So clap your hands together,
There is no God,
No heaven and no hell.
There is no God,
We're all in this together,
There is no God,
So ring that victory bell.
Songwriters: Francis Edward Turner
https://frank-turner.com/tracks/glory-hallelujah/
https://youtu.be/qjrN7ZGyd7E
Note. My parents are born again dance in the aisle happy clappy, Welsh Methodists.
I told them in 1982, that if god existed, most of the people who go to church, would probably go to hell.
And I wouldn't be going to church because I wasn't a hypocrite.
Jesus preached Tolerance. And Love.
Sometime later Religion was used by those in power to regulate the masses.
To the OP, if you believe in God pray for guidance.
If you don't get guidance. Do what the f
k you want and only ask for forgiveness for the things you've done that hurt others and stop feeling guilt. If you don't believe, just be kind to those around you.
A500leroy said:
Cheers guys, the rational part of my brain knows this, but when you suddenly start throwing up because youve agreed to meet up with a guy you can easily put 2 and 2 together and make 6.
Im gonna have to try and sort it out somehow else its gonna be an elderly old age.
I'm happy to have a chat over the phone then signpost you to a relevant professional.Im gonna have to try and sort it out somehow else its gonna be an elderly old age.
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff