Parents and Care Homes

[Marty Funkhouser]

Not sure if this is the correct forum so apologies to mods.

Does anyone have experience with their parents and care homes? My mother is starting to get to a point where its looking more of an option. She is worrying about how to pay for it. They have more than the £23k local council limit so as we understand it she has to pay her fees? Or is there a way of her getting a loan based on her house to be paid when both her and may father have gone? Its something they have dreaded but her memory is fading fast and my father isn't up to looking after her full time.

Many thanks for any constructive help. Any thoughts/experiences welcome.

[GreatGranny]

Marty Funkhouser said:

Not sure if this is the correct forum so apologies to mods.

Does anyone have experience with their parents and care homes? My mother is starting to get to a point where its looking more of an option. She is worrying about how to pay for it. They have more than the £23k local council limit so as we understand it she has to pay her fees? Or is there a way of her getting a loan based on her house to be paid when both her and may father have gone? Its something they have dreaded but her memory is fading fast and my father isn't up to looking after her full time.

Many thanks for any constructive help. Any thoughts/experiences welcome.

Can you maybe get carers to come into their house?

It's expensive but they can visit when she gets up and again when she goes to bed.
My Auntie has a carer who does all this and also takes her on days out, walks to the shops, does some shopping etc.
She's on her own so it's company for her as well.

Are you or any siblings, relatives close by?
Maybe the family can help out.

[blueg33]

Care at home for my dad was the same cost as in a care home, but a less suitable environment. We concluded that him being in a care home would reduces the risks to my mother

Currently spending £1400 per week on the care home

[How u doing]

If you speak to the care home they'll put you in touch with a specialist financial advisor.

My mum took out an endowment policy to cover 80% she picked up the balance from savings/pension.

[john_1983]

The council will put a charging order on the house if she doesn't have savings to deplete first, i.e. when the house does sell the council will get the money they are owed then - either before or after death. I think they can make you put the house on the market as well, can't remember. What can be worth doing is renting the house out to generate some income to cover the fees to an extent.

My grandfather is in a care home, now he is wheelchair bound and has a catheter it's the only place suitable. He's got £500k in the bank, saved his whole life and never spent it, and now it's going at the rate of £2,500 per month or whatever it is. Should have spent it on coke and hookers when he had the chance.

[Du1point8]

What about a retirement complex and sell up and move in?

[C n C]

Marty Funkhouser said:

Does anyone have experience with their parents and care homes? My mother is starting to get to a point where its looking more of an option. She is worrying about how to pay for it. They have more than the £23k local council limit so as we understand it she has to pay her fees? Or is there a way of her getting a loan based on her house to be paid when both her and my father have gone? Its something they have dreaded but her memory is fading fast and my father isn't up to looking after her full time.

Many thanks for any constructive help. Any thoughts/experiences welcome.

From your original post, would I be correct in surmising that your father is still around?

If he is, and he is living with your mum currently, then the value of the house should not be considered by the council in terms of payment for you mum's care home fees - only your mum's own assets.

If/when your mum's assets drop to below £23k, then she'll pay on a sliding scale basis until they drop below around £12k at which point the council should pay the full cost of the care, so there should not be a need for taking out loans to cover the costs.

If you haven't already, speak to the council/her allocated social worker to confirm the situation directly with them.


We had this situation with my mum who went into a care home and the house was never at risk.

After she passed away, my dad has had to go into a care home, and as there are now no dependants under 18, no disabled dependants, and no close relatives over 60 living at the house, the house is now very much at risk, after we've burned through his savings paying for care at the rate of over £900 per week.

As someone mentioned earlier, what was the point in buying the house and saving all their lives just to have it pissed away on care home fees, when there are others who have taken no responsible steps to save for their future getting the same care in the same care home for free. May as well have spent it all on coke and hookers (or decent holidays etc..).

Anyway, best of luck to you at what is a difficult time.

ETA - Link to Alzheimer's Society web page.

Alzheimer's Society web page said:

Property and the financial assessment for care home fees

If you own your own home, this may be included in the financial assessment to determine who pays your care home fees.

However, your home will not be taken into account if one of the following people also lives in the property, and will continue to live there after you have moved into a care home:

a husband, wife, civil partner or partner
a close relative over the age of 60
a dependent child
a relative who is disabled or incapacitated.

Edited by C n C on Wednesday 21st July 18:13

[PF62]

Marty Funkhouser said:

Or is there a way of her getting a loan based on her house to be paid when both her and may father have gone?

To add to the previous helpful comments, if it did get to the situation of either just your father or mother surviving and that surviving individual needed to move into a care home, then yes there is a mechanism for the council to loan the money if you didn’t want to sell the property.

You have to pay the council’s fees for valuing and arranging the loan, and they charge a low interest rate for the loaned money. However they will generally only agree to it if there is at least a couple of years of care home fees in the equity.

Such a route might make sense if the property could be rented for a reasonable amount, but as with all these things, taking advice is recommended.

Alternatively if it is just needing to fund the period between moving into the property being sold, then speak to the home as most are willing to come to some sort of deferred fee arrangement.

And do look at a few care homes before deciding. Some I looked at when my mother needed to move into one after my father died - well they might have been nice people running them, but god the places were grim. And given they are all bloody expensive the price difference between the nice ones and the grim ones wasn’t significant.

[Boringvolvodriver]

Just to throw into the mix.

Whilst you say your mum needs a care home because your dad can’t manage, how bad is your mum?

Maybe worth looking at the NHS Continuing Health Care scheme

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-supp...

Not easy to get approval for although we got it for MIL through using a specialist solicitor on a no win no fee basis.

[jock mcsporran]

I’m looking into similar at the moment but she’s adamant she’s not moving out of her house even though she’s becoming a danger to herself.

I’ve been looking at options with my aunt and exploring what they call a ‘retirement plus’ home. Self contained unfurnished apartment with additional communal social areas, meals provided and help on hand if they need it. Hoping she’ll agree it’s a reasonable halfway solution and she can put in some of her own furniture so it’s familiar to her. We’ll likely rent out her house to help pay for it.

[Marty Funkhouser]

Thanks for all the advice. Its not at the stage where she can't remember people or objects. Its her short term memory which is getting worse and worse - repeating the same anecdote in the same conversation etc etc. My siblings and I can see a deterioration and she would rather have these conversations whilst she can understand what is happening. My dad - despite beating cancer (as much as you can ever beat cancer) a couple of years ago - is mentally fine but this is definitely having a physical impact on him. Dad worked hard all his life and built a business up from scratch so they are comfortably off. They are worrying about "not leaving anything" for their children but it is what it is.