Anxiety, OCD and general feeling like a failure

[TheAngryDog]

I am currently being treated for Anxiety (not med based) which has been an underlying issue for as long as I can remember, just not really acknowledged. Part of this comes from my ever increasing OCD, and a happy side effect is that I feel like a failure, which at the moment is the worst part for me.

It is all irrational and in most cases probably unjustified, but in the ones that remain totally justified. My work career being a huge failure consideration. I know that I cannot be the only one who is going through this at the moment, but it's difficult to get my head around about how I change things.

Has anyone here suffered and then managed to change? What worked for you? (I know different things work for different people).

[davey83]

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

[MOBB]

Consider getting your testosterone levels checked if you haven't already.

[RC1807]

MOBB said:

Consider getting your testosterone levels checked if you haven't already.

...and if they're low, push the Dr to find out *WHY* they're low. Don't accept a supplement to increase it.

[TyrannosauRoss Lex]

TheAngryDog said:

I am currently being treated for Anxiety (not med based) which has been an underlying issue for as long as I can remember, just not really acknowledged. Part of this comes from my ever increasing OCD, and a happy side effect is that I feel like a failure, which at the moment is the worst part for me.

It is all irrational and in most cases probably unjustified, but in the ones that remain totally justified. My work career being a huge failure consideration. I know that I cannot be the only one who is going through this at the moment, but it's difficult to get my head around about how I change things.

Has anyone here suffered and then managed to change? What worked for you? (I know different things work for different people).

Also get B12, folate, CRP and vitamin D levels tested. Just out of curiosity, do you ever get any abdominal issues (eg IBS, reflux, bloating etc)? If you want send me a PM, I have a bit of a thing with metabolic based anxiety/depression, have seen it in many of my patients and by changing a few things or having a few supplements it can be life changing.

[Chalen01]

I've experienced issues with anxiety for most of my adult life. Things that have improved my life have been:

Finding the right counsellor (for me that was through self space)
Finally realising that I needed to at least try medication - it has definitely helped with no appreciable side effect
Wim Hof has been mentioned - I don't do the breathing but do have cold baths - it does seem to reset me!
Exercise - for me that has been lifting weights

Hope things improve for you soon. For me, giving up control was the start of regaining control.

[TheAngryDog]

davey83 said:

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

Thanks, I will give it a watch!

RC1807 said:

MOBB said:

Consider getting your testosterone levels checked if you haven't already.

...and if they're low, push the Dr to find out *WHY* they're low. Don't accept a supplement to increase it.

I'd not even considered that, I didn't think the two would be related?

TyrannosauRoss Lex said:

TheAngryDog said:

I am currently being treated for Anxiety (not med based) which has been an underlying issue for as long as I can remember, just not really acknowledged. Part of this comes from my ever increasing OCD, and a happy side effect is that I feel like a failure, which at the moment is the worst part for me.

It is all irrational and in most cases probably unjustified, but in the ones that remain totally justified. My work career being a huge failure consideration. I know that I cannot be the only one who is going through this at the moment, but it's difficult to get my head around about how I change things.

Has anyone here suffered and then managed to change? What worked for you? (I know different things work for different people).

Also get B12, folate, CRP and vitamin D levels tested. Just out of curiosity, do you ever get any abdominal issues (eg IBS, reflux, bloating etc)? If you want send me a PM, I have a bit of a thing with metabolic based anxiety/depression, have seen it in many of my patients and by changing a few things or having a few supplements it can be life changing.

Thanks - Sent you an email. I do suffer with reflux and bloating, but I have put this down to being over weight, though it has gotten worse lately and my weight hasn't changed, just my age.

Chalen01 said:

I've experienced issues with anxiety for most of my adult life. Things that have improved my life have been:

Finding the right counsellor (for me that was through self space)
Finally realising that I needed to at least try medication - it has definitely helped with no appreciable side effect
Wim Hof has been mentioned - I don't do the breathing but do have cold baths - it does seem to reset me!
Exercise - for me that has been lifting weights

Hope things improve for you soon. For me, giving up control was the start of regaining control.

Thanks. I aren't a fan of my counselor but I am giving them a chance to help me, and if not then I will be requesting a new one. Thanks for the other pointers!

[Greenbot35]

Just wondering how your getting on and if you found a resolution or feeling better?

I am in a similar position but olcd is less of a problem but for me it's over thinking. I can't make a decision im so scared of making the wrong choice i tend to not even choose now.

[mcelliott]

I suffered from chronic anxiety for about 18 months only now just starting to feel better, this came after years of depression, let me start by saying it was a long old haul that tested me to my absolute limit, the first thing I did was get some blood tests done just so that I knew I was ok on the health front, I then went through my diet with a fine tooth comb did loads of research into the gut brain connection (it"s huge by the way) then added mindfulness in the form of meditation and breathing, sound a bit woo woo but it really works, also plenty of exercise sea swimming in particular was a game changer for me.
I'm still taking prescription meds but I'm also supplementing with stuff like Vit D Vit B12 and Ashwagandha, none of these things are a miracle cure on their
own but collectively they have been hugely effective.

[Mr Whippy]

On wim hof and cold and sea breathing etc. A lot of this seems to be around telling your body about extremes.
Stress and calm. So it recalibrates where “normal“ is mentally and hopefully I assume in your autonomic immune system.

The meditation is obviously a mental calm end calibration. The cold is a stress end mental stress end calibration.

I also believe a lot is probably from nature, so predisposition, but also nurture style in early life sets up your way of managing with stress.
And only good quality counselling can really help you adjust your mental conditioning and management of stressors into a more constructive type.

[EFH189]

davey83 said:

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

Thanks for sharing this link, it was an interesting watch and I identified with much of it.

[Greenbot35]

EFH189 said:

davey83 said:

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

Thanks for sharing this link, it was an interesting watch and I identified with much of it.

I watched the video too and found it very relatable. I'm currently thinking it might be time to go and see the gp. Km unable to make a decision without ocd and worrying it wrong.

[Pothole]

Greenbot35 said:

EFH189 said:

davey83 said:

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

Thanks for sharing this link, it was an interesting watch and I identified with much of it.

I watched the video too and found it very relatable. I'm currently thinking it might be time to go and see the gp. Km unable to make a decision without ocd and worrying it wrong.

It can never be "wrong" to seek medical help.

[Hoofy]

Pothole said:

Greenbot35 said:

EFH189 said:

davey83 said:

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

Thanks for sharing this link, it was an interesting watch and I identified with much of it.

I watched the video too and found it very relatable. I'm currently thinking it might be time to go and see the gp. Km unable to make a decision without ocd and worrying it wrong.

It can never be "wrong" to seek medical help.

[Hoofy]

Dunno about the Wim Hof method as I've only read about it and not really been interested in trying it but my stance on this is to develop some kind of self-regulation practice such as mindfulness as this can stop your mind going off on one. Also with mindfulness one of the key aspects is the practice of not judging things - not judging yourself, not judging a situation, not judging your reaction to a situation. You can practice this wherever you are. Notice your reaction to anything (good or bad) and practice stopping that judging activity that goes on in your head.

Easier said than done? Of course. That's why it takes practice. And when you fail, don't judge yourself for failing. You know what Yoda said...

[Maximus_Meridius101]

It’s all about perspective. A lot of it is entirely dependent on environment. If you feel like you’re a failure, in your current environment, change your environment until you feel more comfortable. For example, if you’ve found yourself in amongst ‘the Jonses’ and they are all trying to out willy wave each other constantly, and you can’t / don’t wish to play that game, go somewhere that this isn’t happening. You’ll know when you find your level, because life becomes a whole lot less stressful.

[Scobblelotcher]

I found the book ‘the chimp paradox’ very useful for understanding why I sometimes feel I can undermine myself with certain reactions to certain events.

It won’t be for everyone but most find it useful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-...

[anonymous-user]

davey83 said:

This talk I found very good at explaining

https://youtu.be/ZidGozDhOjg

Also check out the Wim Hof Method as I've personally found this very very good dealing with lockdowns and promoting positivity.

No like button so thanks for that.

[Wills2]

Scobblelotcher said:

I found the book ‘the chimp paradox’ very useful for understanding why I sometimes feel I can undermine myself with certain reactions to certain events.

It won’t be for everyone but most find it useful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-...

Steve Peters spoke at one of our kick off events a few years ago, we've all to a greater or lesser extent got a chimp that wants to put stuff off and play, it's a good book as is "who moved my cheese".

I think it's pretty easy today to feel like a failure if you go looking for it (social media is a dangerous thing when you're vulnerable), but as a famous poem once said you need to treat those two imposters the same (Triumph and Disaster)

Changing your view on life and what is important helps as does meditation (easier than you think once someone shows you how) also mindfulness when walking in the country side taking notice of the world around you and clearing your head for a few hours. As does getting a hobby setting some goals (small achievable ones, changing diet, stop drinking so much, get fit etc.....)

I had to seek help back at the start of the year, best thing I ever did and there is so much help out there I urge the OP to reach out to a local counsellor, you'll find out that no one is immune to these feelings and you're not alone and once you understand that you can work on getting better.

My experience is you have to make the changes but the counselling gives you the opening in the door so you can get your foot into it to open wider if you want to.

Edited by Wills2 on Thursday 8th July 21:52

[8IKERDAVE]

Yes I started with it about 4-5 years ago when my business started going down the pan. It's an awful feeling, unfortunately the term is used quite freely now so those of us who suffer genuinly are a little diluted.

I was prescribed 10mg Citalopram but didn't bother taking it for about 4 months. Eventually I caved in and opened the packet. Although such a low dose I found it to take the edge of things and help me think / focus better. Now business is good, family / friend life also good but I still feel obliged to take the daily dose as I've never increased it (other than on severely hungover days where anxiety hits the roof!). I never went down the route of councilling as was bloody minded about it all. I would say from personal experience don't dismiss the medication but also I appreciate why people don't want to go down that route.