Anyone here new parents or trying in their mid 40s
Discussion
Just after advice, experience, thoughts etc.
My wife and I for various reasons have never had kids. Life kind of got in the way, then career, illness etc and we have now had this sudden realisation it may be too late. I'm just turned 45, my wife was 44 in Sept last year.
The question is how realistic is it to have a baby in the mid 40s? More so for my wife who has several fears;
Her business (Shes a hairdresser and runs a small salon) - I try to say theres way more important things but it is her dream.
Fear of looking like Grandma when picking a child up or attending anti natal
Fear of being 60 with a mid teen
Fear of the fatigue on the body at her age - though she is a fit and healthy 44 year old and certainly doesn't look her age
Acceptance as most Mums are much younger nowadays.
Basically, I'm just after any life experiences or advice any of you may have that can help here as in all honesty if we don't decide soon it really will be too late
My wife and I for various reasons have never had kids. Life kind of got in the way, then career, illness etc and we have now had this sudden realisation it may be too late. I'm just turned 45, my wife was 44 in Sept last year.
The question is how realistic is it to have a baby in the mid 40s? More so for my wife who has several fears;
Her business (Shes a hairdresser and runs a small salon) - I try to say theres way more important things but it is her dream.
Fear of looking like Grandma when picking a child up or attending anti natal
Fear of being 60 with a mid teen
Fear of the fatigue on the body at her age - though she is a fit and healthy 44 year old and certainly doesn't look her age
Acceptance as most Mums are much younger nowadays.
Basically, I'm just after any life experiences or advice any of you may have that can help here as in all honesty if we don't decide soon it really will be too late
Although not the same age I had my 2 in my late 30's.
Had most of the same thoughts, thinking I'll be an old sod by the time they are in their 20/30's, can't play footie with them, etc etc.
Now I've had them and I'm a couple years older all those thoughts I had previously don't even cross my mind anymore as they are the best things ever.
I can't comment on a women's view and the effects it may have on their bodies but if you both want kids and can have them then dont miss out and go for it.
Nothing can beat the feeling of watching them being born, bringing them home, seeing them crawl/walk/talk for the first time, getting hugs and everything else thats yet to come.
Had most of the same thoughts, thinking I'll be an old sod by the time they are in their 20/30's, can't play footie with them, etc etc.
Now I've had them and I'm a couple years older all those thoughts I had previously don't even cross my mind anymore as they are the best things ever.
I can't comment on a women's view and the effects it may have on their bodies but if you both want kids and can have them then dont miss out and go for it.
Nothing can beat the feeling of watching them being born, bringing them home, seeing them crawl/walk/talk for the first time, getting hugs and everything else thats yet to come.
Go for it. I got married when I was 46 and am now the father of 3 gorgeous kids at 53 years old. Kids are 5,3 and 20 months. Wife has just turned 45 and I will not pretend we have not been totally knackered at times and it's bloody hard work but very rewarding. We didn't plan on 3 but had 2 girls first and I wanted a son so we had another go and the good lord provided!
It is getting easier as the oldest off to school, but lets just say I have not had a lot of nights out in the last 5 years!
It is getting easier as the oldest off to school, but lets just say I have not had a lot of nights out in the last 5 years!
I was 40 when my son was born and my wife was 39. The health risks go up massively for pregnancies involving women in their 40s. For us, I'm grateful to be as energetic as I am, because our son takes every single drop! In fact, as I type, he's wriggling about on my lap watching Cars 3. For the hundredth time - although it's a merciful break from PJ Masks!
My wife is very keen to adopt so that our son has a sibling for when we're elderly and, eventually, dead. We did talk about having another baby but given how hard our first pregnancy was we ruled it out very quickly.
TL/DR: gets much harder as you get older, but if you really want children have them because the sacrifices are worth it.
My wife is very keen to adopt so that our son has a sibling for when we're elderly and, eventually, dead. We did talk about having another baby but given how hard our first pregnancy was we ruled it out very quickly.
TL/DR: gets much harder as you get older, but if you really want children have them because the sacrifices are worth it.
I'd question your reason for 'wanting' kids so late on.
It could be argued that if you really wanted them it would have been more of a priority and now you think time is running out its almost like a last gasp.
I have 3 children and as much as I love them dearly, they are a huge, huge life changer and you can only appreciate the gravity of change once you are in the thick of it.
I'd suggest you look at the reasons for considering them with such an established life no doubt bristling with freedom without ties.
It could be argued that if you really wanted them it would have been more of a priority and now you think time is running out its almost like a last gasp.
I have 3 children and as much as I love them dearly, they are a huge, huge life changer and you can only appreciate the gravity of change once you are in the thick of it.
I'd suggest you look at the reasons for considering them with such an established life no doubt bristling with freedom without ties.
Op, I am younger than you albeit only just on the right side of 40,in a similar boat and it's good to see the positive feedback on this thread from those who had kids relatively late in life. My dad was about your age when I was born..he never had another child after that but I guess that's how traumatic my arrival was 
on a serious note I'd say go for it.
I am curious though how much did finances/financial worries come into the equation for those of you who had kids late in life?
For me personally the financial support aspects is what I am mainly concerned about...and secondary the dwindling energy levels with age!?
on a serious note I'd say go for it.I am curious though how much did finances/financial worries come into the equation for those of you who had kids late in life?
For me personally the financial support aspects is what I am mainly concerned about...and secondary the dwindling energy levels with age!?
Edited by VR99 on Wednesday 6th January 21:09
Edited by VR99 on Wednesday 6th January 21:10
I've just turned 40 and my Mrs is just about to turn 40. We met each other later in life. Both wanted kids. Got cracking but wasn't happening. After 3 failed cycles of IVF we decided to go with an egg donor and are expecting our firsr kid in March. We have another four on ice in the freezer ready to go if we aren't too destroyed by this one.
No doubt it will hard work and we're having all the same worries as those highlighted above with regards to energy and finances and age and I'm sure it will be a huge change but also a rewarding one.
We've also decided to throw a house move, which needs work, into the mix sometime in the next couple of months and I am in the thick of chemo after being diagnosed with testicular cancer in November. So we've a bit on this year!
No doubt it will hard work and we're having all the same worries as those highlighted above with regards to energy and finances and age and I'm sure it will be a huge change but also a rewarding one.
We've also decided to throw a house move, which needs work, into the mix sometime in the next couple of months and I am in the thick of chemo after being diagnosed with testicular cancer in November. So we've a bit on this year!
My wife and I had kids “early”. Do not regret now. We will both be 48 by the time the second leaves home. All our friends have only just started thinking about it and I can’t imagine doing it now. My wife’s cousin is 41 and her husband 48 and they just had their first baby. Goes without saying that our kids are great but I literally can’t think of anything I would rather do less at that age than disrupt my peaceful run up to retirement with a new baby.
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