Delayed Ejaculation
Discussion
Prompted by blokes in the Sertraline thread commenting that it caused them problems 'shooting the money', thought I'd raise this same 'issue' I'm experiencing. I'm early 40's, generally excellent health (slightly overweight - I'm blaming lockdown for that), never had any major issues, and not currently on any medication (never had anything stronger than antibiotics). I don't have any problem getting the old boy to stand to attention, but over the last 3 or 4 years I've found it increasingly difficult to cross the finishing line. And when I do, it's almost a bit of an anti climax after such a big build up - the sensation and ejaculation are there, just not as strong as they used to be.
I've been single most of that time, so it's not really bothered me, but had a couple of relationships in the last 12 months, and I'm conscious that it might be a bit of an issue. It's been mentioned once or twice, in a semi light hearted way - I've been told that I 'need to work on my quickies' apparently! Funny that the stereotypical woman complains about men not being able to last long in the bedroom, but they don't really like it when they meet one who does. Often leaves my partner complaining about sore hips and knees.
It usually takes me at least an hour to get there, sometimes two. It'll always happen eventually, but sometimes we give up through exhaustion (and sometimes I struggle to stay hard after 90 minutes or so, but that's to be expected really). Not sure what could be causing it, but it's starting to get a bit frustrating, and I'm worried it's putting my partner off sex because it ends up becoming such a marathon. I don't think it's from over indulging either, because we often only see each other at weekends, or every couple of weeks. I suspect me being self conscious about it is sometimes exasperating the issue, making it take even longer.
NHS website lists these possible causes:
Possible psychological causes of delayed ejaculation are similar to those of premature ejaculation – for example, early sexual trauma, strict upbringing, relationship problems, stress or depression.
Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:
diabetes (usually only type 1 diabetes)
spinal cord injuries
multiple sclerosis
surgery to the bladder or prostate gland
increasing age
Many medicines are known to cause delayed ejaculation, including:
antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
medicines to treat high blood pressure, such as beta-blockers
antipsychotics, used to treat episodes of psychosis
muscle relaxants such as baclofen, which is widely used to treat motor neurone disease and multiple sclerosis
powerful painkillers, such as methadone (which is also widely used to treat people addicted to heroin)
But I can't see anything there that would apply to me, so I'm going to ask the wisdom and expertise of PH and maybe avoid having to go to my GP about it!
I've been single most of that time, so it's not really bothered me, but had a couple of relationships in the last 12 months, and I'm conscious that it might be a bit of an issue. It's been mentioned once or twice, in a semi light hearted way - I've been told that I 'need to work on my quickies' apparently! Funny that the stereotypical woman complains about men not being able to last long in the bedroom, but they don't really like it when they meet one who does. Often leaves my partner complaining about sore hips and knees.
It usually takes me at least an hour to get there, sometimes two. It'll always happen eventually, but sometimes we give up through exhaustion (and sometimes I struggle to stay hard after 90 minutes or so, but that's to be expected really). Not sure what could be causing it, but it's starting to get a bit frustrating, and I'm worried it's putting my partner off sex because it ends up becoming such a marathon. I don't think it's from over indulging either, because we often only see each other at weekends, or every couple of weeks. I suspect me being self conscious about it is sometimes exasperating the issue, making it take even longer.
NHS website lists these possible causes:
Possible psychological causes of delayed ejaculation are similar to those of premature ejaculation – for example, early sexual trauma, strict upbringing, relationship problems, stress or depression.
Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:
diabetes (usually only type 1 diabetes)
spinal cord injuries
multiple sclerosis
surgery to the bladder or prostate gland
increasing age
Many medicines are known to cause delayed ejaculation, including:
antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
medicines to treat high blood pressure, such as beta-blockers
antipsychotics, used to treat episodes of psychosis
muscle relaxants such as baclofen, which is widely used to treat motor neurone disease and multiple sclerosis
powerful painkillers, such as methadone (which is also widely used to treat people addicted to heroin)
But I can't see anything there that would apply to me, so I'm going to ask the wisdom and expertise of PH and maybe avoid having to go to my GP about it!
king too much causing your penis to become less sensitive......and because it's become an issue you are stressing about it which is self perpetuating.I am certainly no Dr but I think maybe it could be one of two things, or a combination;
Over time you have built up to gripping yourself rather firmly and/or doing it rather vigorously when you are "flying solo" and thus are desensitised a bit.
The solution is to have a break from "amusing yourself" for a few days and then doing it lightly to become more sensitive. Another option is to buy a fleshlight and use that (not the super tight/intense kinds - a normal feeling one) to become used to a more normal level of stimulation again.
The other thing is you are probably worrying about it too much and thus getting in your own way. Maybe have a few days without touching yourself before you have sex? that might help.
Over time you have built up to gripping yourself rather firmly and/or doing it rather vigorously when you are "flying solo" and thus are desensitised a bit.
The solution is to have a break from "amusing yourself" for a few days and then doing it lightly to become more sensitive. Another option is to buy a fleshlight and use that (not the super tight/intense kinds - a normal feeling one) to become used to a more normal level of stimulation again.
The other thing is you are probably worrying about it too much and thus getting in your own way. Maybe have a few days without touching yourself before you have sex? that might help.
are you drinking alcohol or taking any other substances?
Alcohol brings this on for me. Sometimes have to stop and try again following morning.
But I know where you're coming from, was awkward with new girl I'm seeing, they can start to take it personally after a while. Still, better than the other extreme, knowing they;ve had a good time before it ends...
Also agree with porn grip, as I had long period being single for a while following divorce...
Alcohol brings this on for me. Sometimes have to stop and try again following morning.
But I know where you're coming from, was awkward with new girl I'm seeing, they can start to take it personally after a while. Still, better than the other extreme, knowing they;ve had a good time before it ends...
Also agree with porn grip, as I had long period being single for a while following divorce...
Edited by b80 on Friday 30th October 07:51
as suggested, stop choking the chicken for several days before playing hide the sausage 
I take these tablets to stop urinal urgency and when I cum, I don't, it's an empty, almost empty sensation, so I stopped the meds and went back to normal. however, the water works urgency is so severe that it hurts so taking tablets again but losing out on the cum and sensation and satisfaction.
car2021 said:
I take these tablets to stop urinal urgency and when I cum, I don't, it's an empty, almost empty sensation, so I stopped the meds and went back to normal. however, the water works urgency is so severe that it hurts so taking tablets again but losing out on the cum and sensation and satisfaction.
You have an enlarged prostate.....just don't take the tablet the day before you're getting some action
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