Damn, just found out that friend has died
Discussion
I've been trying to get in touch with a mate of mine from 6-7 years ago that i lost touch with when i moved from the area. I'm back working in the same area and thought I'd renew things.
Just found out this morning he died of a heart attack last year.
He was only the same age as I am now.
Weird thing is, I'm not sure how I feel?
sad because he's gone ? (and too young at that)
angry because I didn't get to renew the friendship?
annoyed because I should have lost touch in the first place?
don't know?
Just found out this morning he died of a heart attack last year.
He was only the same age as I am now.
Weird thing is, I'm not sure how I feel?
sad because he's gone ? (and too young at that)
angry because I didn't get to renew the friendship?
annoyed because I should have lost touch in the first place?
don't know?
stackmonkey said:
I've been trying to get in touch with a mate of mine from 6-7 years ago that i lost touch with when i moved from the area. I'm back working in the same area and thought I'd renew things.
Just found out this morning he died of a heart attack last year.
He was only the same age as I am now.
Weird thing is, I'm not sure how I feel?
sad because he's gone ? (and too young at that)
angry because I didn't get to renew the friendship?
annoyed because I should have lost touch in the first place?
don't know?
Same thing happened to me a couple of months ago. Over lunch I said - "I must get back in touch with Chris - it's been an age since I saw him...." "um, sorry to tell you....."Just found out this morning he died of a heart attack last year.
He was only the same age as I am now.
Weird thing is, I'm not sure how I feel?
sad because he's gone ? (and too young at that)
angry because I didn't get to renew the friendship?
annoyed because I should have lost touch in the first place?
don't know?
I felt very hollow.
Pointless trying to rationalise how you should feel though. You just feel what you feel I guess.
Sorry about your chum all the same.....
There is no right or wrong way to feel. A friend of mine died and I was really angry yet a relative died and I couldn't stop giggling, not giggling because I thought it was funny rather it was something I couldn't control no matter how much I tried not to.
Your mind works in mysterious ways.
Your mind works in mysterious ways.
stackmonkey said:
Weird thing is, I'm not sure how I feel?
sad because he's gone ? (and too young at that)
angry because I didn't get to renew the friendship?
annoyed because I should have lost touch in the first place?
don't know?
Probably all of them. I think you always regret not seeing people more or making more effort after they've died. What do you do though? Go aroung treating everyone like it might be the last time you see them, it might get a bit intense.sad because he's gone ? (and too young at that)
angry because I didn't get to renew the friendship?
annoyed because I should have lost touch in the first place?
don't know?
I might put on my facebook status "To all my old school friends/family etc, I you love you incase you die suddenly" Maybe not.
I was in a very similar situation in January, the difference being I found out when it happened rather than retrospectively. It's tricky - I felt like I needed to grieve but didn't 'deserve' to grieve since I hadn't been in touch for months, and hadn't physically seen him for years. The "he's my age, it could have been me" aspect is also something that may knock your worldview if only for a while. Draw some catharsis from the situation; use this as your catalyst to reconnect with some people you've lost touch with over the years. That's what I did and I found, weirdly, that it was a great comfort.
Sorry about your mate. My very worst one was a friend's 3 month old baby, that's the only time I've ever felt as if I'd been physically punched in the gut.
Don't let anybody tell you what you should and shouldn't feel, take things at your own pace and be kind to yourself because you might be a bit more emotionally fragile than you realise for the next few days/weeks at least.
Don't let anybody tell you what you should and shouldn't feel, take things at your own pace and be kind to yourself because you might be a bit more emotionally fragile than you realise for the next few days/weeks at least.
el stovey said:
Go aroung treating everyone like it might be the last time you see them, it might get a bit intense.
Might make the world a better more loving place?All those films that advise you live life for now, and savour the moment. Like It's A Wonderful Life, Shawshank, Muppet Christmas Carol etc.
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