Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly

[Bobberoo]

So sorry to hear that Bernie, thoughts are with you and your partner.

[QuartzDad]

QuartzDad said:

Mrs QD has had her surgery brought forward two weeks. On one hand that's great, on the other it hasn't stopped her thinking why the need to bring it forward...

The targeting metallic particle gets inserted on Thu, pre-op assessment on Fri and surgery next week.

Surgery was yesterday. Check in was 7.30am, advised she was first on the list at 08.15, texted at 13.15 to say it was done and was discharged at 16.00.

They took the lump and a few lymph nodes from the armpit. Some discomfort when moving in certain directions but generally feeling ok. Now the wait for the follow up and radiotherapy.

[Mexican cuties]

hope results are all good for your wife x, due in 2pm tomorrow with breast team and surgeon for mastectomy dressing to come off, and check wound healing, plus lymph nodes results, still all a blur but we are hanging in there, dreading seeing right boob in all its surgical glory, but just trying to tell myself the unwanted visitor has gone, and early too!!

[SIM1er]

lauda said:

After weeks of hospital visits for various scans and blood tests, my dad was diagnosed yesterday with a form of lung cancer linked to asbestos. He worked in the construction industry from the late 60s so it was always a possibility that this was coming but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

We’re awaiting a proper prognosis from the oncologist but having read up on the type of cancer he has (mesothelioma) it’s not looking good. It’s not curable and average life expectancy from diagnosis is 4-18 months.

I don’t really know what to think of it all if I’m honest. He’s 75 so isn’t a spring chicken but it feels wrong that he would be fine were it not for the occupation he chose to go into.

Sorry to hear that. My father was diagnosed at a similar age with the same, as were some of his old workmates. He survived 10 months. As you say it is a terrible consequence of the occupation, and the fact the dangers were known but not acted upon for many years. I know it won’t be top of mind for you right now, and I hope you don’t mind me bringing it up, but it is important to get details of your Dad’s working history whilst you are still able, as your family can get additional financial support if required under The Mesothelioma Act 2014 or a civil claim if the exposure can be attributed to an employer still in existence.

[MOMACC]

lauda said:

After weeks of hospital visits for various scans and blood tests, my dad was diagnosed yesterday with a form of lung cancer linked to asbestos. He worked in the construction industry from the late 60s so it was always a possibility that this was coming but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

We’re awaiting a proper prognosis from the oncologist but having read up on the type of cancer he has (mesothelioma) it’s not looking good. It’s not curable and average life expectancy from diagnosis is 4-18 months.

I don’t really know what to think of it all if I’m honest. He’s 75 so isn’t a spring chicken but it feels wrong that he would be fine were it not for the occupation he chose to go into.

Sorry to hear this Lauda.

10 years ago we lost my father in law who passed quite quickly post diagnosis.
If you don't have it already map out a timeline of previous employers from when he started work up to retirement for any future insurance claim.

I hope he fights it as much as he can and you look out for you and your family.

[Bobberoo]

Quartzdad and especially your wife, you're both going through emotional turmoil right now, make sure you take care of yourselves, it will drain you.

Mexican Cuties, I know it will be hard coming to terms with it, a very good friend and my wife's aunt have been through the same, but seeing it as removing the cancer and not losing your breast is the way to look at it, if you're struggling with it please talk to someone.

As always, thoughts are with anyone going through this, cancer really is a and can go fk itself.

[lauda]

MOMACC said:

lauda said:

After weeks of hospital visits for various scans and blood tests, my dad was diagnosed yesterday with a form of lung cancer linked to asbestos. He worked in the construction industry from the late 60s so it was always a possibility that this was coming but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

We’re awaiting a proper prognosis from the oncologist but having read up on the type of cancer he has (mesothelioma) it’s not looking good. It’s not curable and average life expectancy from diagnosis is 4-18 months.

I don’t really know what to think of it all if I’m honest. He’s 75 so isn’t a spring chicken but it feels wrong that he would be fine were it not for the occupation he chose to go into.

Sorry to hear this Lauda.

10 years ago we lost my father in law who passed quite quickly post diagnosis.
If you don't have it already map out a timeline of previous employers from when he started work up to retirement for any future insurance claim.

I hope he fights it as much as he can and you look out for you and your family.

Thanks. Unfortunately he was self employed his whole working life so there’s no employer to claim against. There is a government compensation scheme and the charity that deals with this sort of cancer is sending someone out next week to help my mum and dad submit a claim. It’s not likely to be much though as it’s a sliding scale based on age. It tops out at 77 so it’s likely to be close to the minimum. Not that the money is important but we want to make sure my mum is taken care of.

They’ve now got an oncologist appointment for 6 November so we’ll know more then. We’re all trying to stay positive but ultimately know that the writing is on the wall.

If I’m honest, I’m terrified, as I know that it won’t be long before I’m watching him die in a hospice. I know it sounds really morbid to say that but I can’t stop thinking about it. Watching someone who was always so strong and active die like that feels like no way to go.

In some ways I’m grateful that we know it’s coming because we’ve not always had the best of relationships and at least we’ve got time to say some things that we probably both want to. I hugged him for the first time in over 20 years the other day but I’m not sure either of us could recall the last time we told the other that we loved them.

[Mexican cuties]

just update, when with the follow up friday, lymph nodes came back as positive, despite not showing on ultrasound, so monday get a call for radioactive dye and then bone scan thursday, then monday ct scan.

they said sadly not grade 1 but 2, so still in limbo, and struggling, up and down is under statement, love to you all, been told by macmillan nurse to expect chemo and radiotherapy, now googling hair loss xx

[Fer]

Sorry to hear that MC. Nothing useful to add except to say we're all rooting for you.

[Bernie_78]

Mexican cuties said:

just update, when with the follow up friday, lymph nodes came back as positive, despite not showing on ultrasound, so monday get a call for radioactive dye and then bone scan thursday, then monday ct scan.

they said sadly not grade 1 but 2, so still in limbo, and struggling, up and down is under statement, love to you all, been told by macmillan nurse to expect chemo and radiotherapy, now googling hair loss xx

Macmillan are a Godesnd I wish I'd spoken to months back. Hope they can get you started quickly

[wobert]

Bernie_78 said:

Mexican cuties said:

just update, when with the follow up friday, lymph nodes came back as positive, despite not showing on ultrasound, so monday get a call for radioactive dye and then bone scan thursday, then monday ct scan.

they said sadly not grade 1 but 2, so still in limbo, and struggling, up and down is under statement, love to you all, been told by macmillan nurse to expect chemo and radiotherapy, now googling hair loss xx

Macmillan are a Godesnd I wish I'd spoken to months back. Hope they can get you started quickly

Agreed, the support we had from MacMillan was head and shoulders above what else the NHS offered.

That reminds me, I have a sizeable donation to make to them from the JustGiving page that was set up after my wife passed away….

[TwigtheWonderkid]

wobert said:

Bernie_78 said:

Mexican cuties said:

just update, when with the follow up friday, lymph nodes came back as positive, despite not showing on ultrasound, so monday get a call for radioactive dye and then bone scan thursday, then monday ct scan.

they said sadly not grade 1 but 2, so still in limbo, and struggling, up and down is under statement, love to you all, been told by macmillan nurse to expect chemo and radiotherapy, now googling hair loss xx

Macmillan are a Godesnd I wish I'd spoken to months back. Hope they can get you started quickly

Agreed, the support we had from MacMillan was head and shoulders above what else the NHS offered.

That reminds me, I have a sizeable donation to make to them from the JustGiving page that was set up after my wife passed away….

It's hit and miss, much like the NHS. They've been brilliant for my best mate, but were a total waste of time for my father in law. In fact, the constant failure to turn up when scheduled and lack of any response added to his misery.

Edited by TwigtheWonderkid on Friday 3rd November 20:36

[Mexican cuties]

thank you still such a blur, trying not to google too much, just so glad did the routine mammogram when invited, as i was told i would never have found it. hate this "in limbo" waiting stage, but dreading the results stage. sure tomorow i will be more positive, fingers crossed, god luv the hubby, have a great weekend all

[Adrian E]

Hardest job of the day - having to tell my 13 year old son that I'm going in to hospital next week for the 6th operation to remove cancer. Sat him down saying I needed to talk to him, he gave me the biggest hug that made me well up, and he asked 'has it come back?'.......it's been 14 months since my last op, so I'd almost got to the point of breathing a bit easier that I'd finally beaten it.

Saw the consultant last week and anticipated op date for late November/early December. They rang Thursday to say they'd had a cancellation and did I want Wednesday next week?! 'Hopefully' it's just stray cells that've taken a while to turn into anything, and extra hopefully they can get to it all.

At least I should be fully recovered from the surgery before Christmas....

[Stan the Bat]

Adrian E said:

Hardest job of the day - having to tell my 13 year old son that I'm going in to hospital next week for the 6th operation to remove cancer. Sat him down saying I needed to talk to him, he gave me the biggest hug that made me well up, and he asked 'has it come back?'.......it's been 14 months since my last op, so I'd almost got to the point of breathing a bit easier that I'd finally beaten it.

Saw the consultant last week and anticipated op date for late November/early December. They rang Thursday to say they'd had a cancellation and did I want Wednesday next week?! 'Hopefully' it's just stray cells that've taken a while to turn into anything, and extra hopefully they can get to it all.

At least I should be fully recovered from the surgery before Christmas....

Good luck mate.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Stan the Bat said:

Adrian E said:

Hardest job of the day - having to tell my 13 year old son that I'm going in to hospital next week for the 6th operation to remove cancer. Sat him down saying I needed to talk to him, he gave me the biggest hug that made me well up, and he asked 'has it come back?'.......it's been 14 months since my last op, so I'd almost got to the point of breathing a bit easier that I'd finally beaten it.

Saw the consultant last week and anticipated op date for late November/early December. They rang Thursday to say they'd had a cancellation and did I want Wednesday next week?! 'Hopefully' it's just stray cells that've taken a while to turn into anything, and extra hopefully they can get to it all.

At least I should be fully recovered from the surgery before Christmas....

Good luck mate.

Agreed, good luck in beating this vile st disease.

[Pit Pony]

Rhod Gilbert: A Pain in the Neck for SU2C https://g.co/kgs/dgeu3g

Just watched this on channel 4 catch up.

It kind of made me cry.

At the same time as him having this in his throat and being treated in South Wales my dad was having his treatment for similar in North Wales. Except due to my dad being 86, and having other health complications, they couldn't give him chemotherapi and could only do the Radiotherapi

Because I was 2 hours away, I didn't really understand how much st he was putting up with, because mum underplays the whole thing on the phone.

Edited by Pit Pony on Sunday 5th November 00:28

[Bernie_78]

Adrian E said:

Hardest job of the day - having to tell my 13 year old son that I'm going in to hospital next week for the 6th operation to remove cancer. Sat him down saying I needed to talk to him, he gave me the biggest hug that made me well up, and he asked 'has it come back?'.......it's been 14 months since my last op, so I'd almost got to the point of breathing a bit easier that I'd finally beaten it.

Saw the consultant last week and anticipated op date for late November/early December. They rang Thursday to say they'd had a cancellation and did I want Wednesday next week?! 'Hopefully' it's just stray cells that've taken a while to turn into anything, and extra hopefully they can get to it all.

At least I should be fully recovered from the surgery before Christmas....

Fingers crossed, and goid luck

[Bernie_78]

SpunkyGlory said:

I've been a long-time reader of this thread but have never contributed.

My dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in 2019. He was initially told it was stage 1/2 and as he had a history of heart issues (triple bypass and 2 heart attacks), his consultant decided not to opt for chemo but would instead operate to remove the tumour. We went into the operation knowing there was a large risk to his heart, and his anaesthetist told him if he had a heart attack whilst on the table, there would be nothing they would be able to do.

Fortunately he survived that operation and although he had a rough time of recovery, it felt like a hugely positive step. Unfortunately, a biopsy of the tumour resulted in the staging being 'upgraded' to a 4, and we were told the cancer would almost certainly return at some point.

The following 4 years were a rollercoaster. There were lots of good time, but the cancer did return as secondaries in his lungs and we ultimately watched him go from a 85kg man to a 45kg skeleton who lost his appetite, his energy, his voice. He never lost his sense of humour.

The cancer spread, despite several rounds of punishing chemo, and he was also diagnosed with prostate cancer as the icing on the cake.

He fought valiantly, and even had Botox injected into his vocal chords in order to restore his voice so he could say goodbye to his young grandchildren who were his world. 2 days after that procedure, on 20th June 2023, he passed away while I held his hand. He was 73.

Sitting in a hospital room by myself while he took his last breaths is something that will live with me forever.

Cancer really is an awful disease. Everything from the shock of the initial diagnosis, the punishing treatments, the way it can strip someone of so much, it's awful to witness and is something that I certainly wasn't prepared for.

This is only my experience, and fortunately treatments and chances of early diagnosis and survival are increasing every day. And I know more people that have survived cancer than have lost their battle to it, which I am very grateful for.

I wish everyone in here who is fighting cancer themselves, or with a loved one, all the best in your battle against this effing effer. If Dad taught me one thing, it's that a sense of humour and positivity is the most important thing to retain, so please never lose that.

Thanks for sharing this, sounds like he gave it his all.

[Bernie_78]

First immunotherapy tomorrow, nervous but by so glad we're starting something as twiddling thumbs the last 2 weeks has been no fun.

Been warned it can get unpleasant, 50% chance of hospitalisation circulates my head a lot but well worth it if it gets rid.

Onwards!