Stiffies at sea

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mybrainhurts

Original Poster:

90,809 posts

268 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Talking to someone who's just returned home from a cruise ship.

Seems they take 14 coffins on board for a world cruise, as that's the average number of passengers who snuff it on board.

Is this true...?

A crew man asked if she noticed the ship stop in the night.

She said no, why did we stop?

To take off the bodies.

She asked what happens when more than 14 croak. He said they stack the excess stiffs in the ice cream freezer.

Ho hum...


elster

17,517 posts

223 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
Talking to someone who's just returned home from a cruise ship.

Seems they take 14 coffins on board for a world cruise, as that's the average number of passengers who snuff it on board.

Is this true...?

A crew man asked if she noticed the ship stop in the night.

She said no, why did we stop?

To take off the bodies.

She asked what happens when more than 14 croak. He said they stack the excess stiffs in the ice cream freezer.

Ho hum...
I can believe plenty of people do croak it on cruises. Mainly due to the average age of the holiday maker.

I do doubt there is use of an ice cream freezer for bodies though.

mybrainhurts

Original Poster:

90,809 posts

268 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
oh

Los Palmas 7

29,908 posts

243 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
How long does a world cruise take? Two, three months? And they cater for 14 deaths in that time, in one place?


The Orphan

29,977 posts

264 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
Talking to someone who's just returned home from a cruise ship.

Seems they take 14 coffins on board for a world cruise, as that's the average number of passengers who snuff it on board.

Is this true...?

A crew man asked if she noticed the ship stop in the night.

She said no, why did we stop?

To take off the bodies.

She asked what happens when more than 14 croak. He said they stack the excess stiffs in the ice cream freezer.

Ho hum...
That's bad news if your name is Ellen McArthur cos it makes your odd of surviving pretty long.

Simpo Two

88,603 posts

278 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
Seems they take 14 coffins on board for a world cruise, as that's the average number of passengers who snuff it on board.
Interesting. Maybe I could skulk around sleeping in chairs until a cabin becomes available? It should be free as it's already been paid for biggrin



NB: I think you mean 'stiffs' not 'stiffies'... sort of mutually exclusive really...

Edited by Simpo Two on Wednesday 8th April 19:13

davido140

9,614 posts

239 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
NB: I think you mean 'stiffs' not 'stiffies'... sort of mutually exclusive really...
Indeed I was thinking that was going to be the OP admitting to getting wood every time he was at sea!!

Deva Link

26,934 posts

258 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
My inlaws go cruising (the ocean liner type of cruising) and FIL mentioned that a fair number of the passengers look ready to croak any moment as they're loaded on board, often with all sorts of medical equipment.

Apparently the bigger ships have fully equipped operating theatres but he was wondering how the heck these people can get travel insurance.

drivin_me_nuts

17,949 posts

224 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
stiffies on a cruise.

Elt, George and that TS loving PH poster, whose name I can't recall, but sounds distinctly like a wannabe Sikatriste racing driver ...

your thread is here ...

triggersbroom

2,576 posts

217 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Los Palmas 7 said:
How long does a world cruise take? Two, three months? And they cater for 14 deaths in that time, in one place?

roflrofl

and have another rofl

mybrainhurts

Original Poster:

90,809 posts

268 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
NB: I think you mean 'stiffs' not 'stiffies'... sort of mutually exclusive really...
I typed Stiffs, but this seemed rather stark, so adopted a softer and, I feel, more respectful, tone with the word stiffie....

This is not the only word with dual meaning, sir. So there...

whitechief

4,431 posts

208 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
I know someone who's husband died on a cruise, must be awful not being able to do anything until the ship reaches port.

NDA

23,043 posts

238 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
whitechief said:
I know someone who's husband died on a cruise, must be awful not being able to buy anything until the ship reaches port.
EFA

Sorry.

Couldn't help it. smile

whitechief

4,431 posts

208 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
NDA said:
whitechief said:
I know someone who's husband died on a cruise, must be awful not being able to buy anything until the ship reaches port.
EFA

Sorry.

Couldn't help it. smile
hehe

mybrainhurts

Original Poster:

90,809 posts

268 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Seems an old guy croaked at the dinner table and nearby passengers were asked to not draw attention to his plight.

He was wheeled out when everybody had left.

....Just ignore him and enjoy your meal, all right?


Dogwatch

6,314 posts

235 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
whitechief said:
I know someone who's husband died on a cruise, must be awful not being able to do anything until the ship reaches port.
I suppose burial at sea contravenes some EU Directive or other? Certainly brings down the curtain pretty quickly.

gopher

5,160 posts

272 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Simpo Two said:
NB: I think you mean 'stiffs' not 'stiffies'... sort of mutually exclusive really...
Well until you supply the embalming fluid I suppose. smile

muley

1,453 posts

294 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Neighbours used to work on cruise ships and the crews would have a sweepstake on the number of croakers on any given cruise - true story

(between 6-12 per 2000 passengers was a good ballpark figure)

I can think of worse places to peg out...

Edited by muley on Wednesday 8th April 20:30

Deva Link

26,934 posts

258 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
muley said:
Neighbours used to work on cruise ships and the crews would have a sweepstake on the number of croakers on any given cruise - true story

(between 6-12 per 2000 passengers was a good ballpark figure)
So 14 coffins is a number they didn't just stumble on then. smile

Jasandjules

70,897 posts

242 months

Wednesday 8th April 2009
quotequote all
Given that the average age of someone on a cruise ship appears to be about 87, I don't doubt that a fair few cark it......