The best tales you've ever heard i.e. sh*t talkers
Discussion
Following on from the Walter Mitty and Billy Ten Sheds thread. Whats the best stories you've heard from a s
t talking co-worker / mate?
My best is from a Heating Engineer friend who makes £2000 a day fitting full heating systems in different homes every day... Yet drives a work van, no car and lives with parents!
t talking co-worker / mate? My best is from a Heating Engineer friend who makes £2000 a day fitting full heating systems in different homes every day... Yet drives a work van, no car and lives with parents!
Edited by PD9 on Wednesday 8th April 15:38
PD9 said:
Following on from the Walter Mitty and Billy Ten Sheds thread. Whats the best stories you've heard from a st talking co-worker / mate?
My best is from a Heating Engineer friend who makes £2000 a day fitting full heating systems in different homes every day... Yet drives a work van, no car and lives with parents!
Thats nothing. I make £2500 a day and live with my gran.t talking co-worker / mate? My best is from a Heating Engineer friend who makes £2000 a day fitting full heating systems in different homes every day... Yet drives a work van, no car and lives with parents!
Edited by PD9 on Wednesday 8th April 15:38
(ok, maybe not!)
During my student days a fellow housemate (who was a little lardy) refused all offers for games of squash or football preferring the solitary delights of the swimming pool, where he claimed his natural buoyancy made him a fearsome competitor.
One evening, he regaled us with some tale about 60 pool lengths in under half an hour. After a short discussion we presented him with a foil medal for breaking several olympic records.....
One evening, he regaled us with some tale about 60 pool lengths in under half an hour. After a short discussion we presented him with a foil medal for breaking several olympic records.....
I used to know someone who's nickname was karzy.
He 'turbo-charged' his Yamaha FS1E with what looked suspiciously like a painted (badly) Fairy liquid bottle and various lengths of fish tank hose. People were reluctant to point out the flaws in it's design as he was on a hair trigger and would lash out violently if uncovered.
He 'turbo-charged' his Yamaha FS1E with what looked suspiciously like a painted (badly) Fairy liquid bottle and various lengths of fish tank hose. People were reluctant to point out the flaws in it's design as he was on a hair trigger and would lash out violently if uncovered.
911motorsport said:
I used to know someone who's nickname was karzy.
He 'turbo-charged' his Yamaha FS1E ....
Arrr I wondered what the story was.He 'turbo-charged' his Yamaha FS1E ....
I do actually know someone who created a 'forced induction' unit for his 1275 mini.
...it basically consisted of an air-horn attached to the carb.
Sadly all it achieved was making the mixture so weak that it cutout every time he pressed the horn
His fuel injection system (based on a similar principle) sadly destroyed the poor 1275 in a garage fire.
A bloke i worked with a few years ago who was notorius for bullst came out with this cracker more than once.
"As i was driving down the motorway out of nowhere a harrier jump jet flys along side me and the pilot looks over and motions for a drink then points down the road, so at the next junction i pull off at a slip road and there is a pub and in the car park sits a the harrier and i went in and had a drink with him"
I kid you not this was the actuall story he told and we were meant to beleive it, there were more but this was the stand out champion.
t came out with this cracker more than once. "As i was driving down the motorway out of nowhere a harrier jump jet flys along side me and the pilot looks over and motions for a drink then points down the road, so at the next junction i pull off at a slip road and there is a pub and in the car park sits a the harrier and i went in and had a drink with him"
I kid you not this was the actuall story he told and we were meant to beleive it, there were more but this was the stand out champion.
His old Ford Escort was tuned to 800BHP and could easily take my TVR Chimaera.
ETA: Ah, if we are including workamates, I give you (all from the same person):
1. Just been burgled (Yet the next day had a load of new furniture arrive)
2. Stuck in Nigeria (for two months) because planes aren't flying in or out (We called British Airways who didn't know about this)
3. Stuck in Nigeria (different time) due to riots closing the airport (just three weeks this time) - BBC news unaware of any such information, Bloomberg and Reuters had no knowledge either
ETA: Ah, if we are including workamates, I give you (all from the same person):
1. Just been burgled (Yet the next day had a load of new furniture arrive)
2. Stuck in Nigeria (for two months) because planes aren't flying in or out (We called British Airways who didn't know about this)
3. Stuck in Nigeria (different time) due to riots closing the airport (just three weeks this time) - BBC news unaware of any such information, Bloomberg and Reuters had no knowledge either
Edited by Jasandjules on Wednesday 8th April 17:19
G'kar said:
snowy slopes said:
Think the worst one i have ever heard was from someone i knew who fixed jags for a living, claimed he had a customer who lapped the m25 in 52 minutes in an xjs v12!
Possible.
In the 80s and 90s it was suggested that such a lap record existed, IIRC it is 117 miles so 135mph average, before the advent of speed cameras with a bit of good luck that would be doable in the middle of the night.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff