CSA / Private Agreement?
Discussion
Right, lets ignore the wrongs and rights of the issue first off!
My better halfs sister is five months pregnant. This baby was concieved during a 'one night stand' with a chap she met at a nightclub. Fortunately, she knows who he is (!). She is 19 college student and he is in his early 30's and is a PE Teacher at a secondary school - working in this sector myself I know he'll be on about £28-29k.
When she found out she was pregant, she informed him. He did not want to keep the baby. She did, as she has strong issues about abortion.
Unfortunately, she will probably end up a 'dole scrounger' for a few years, and the type of person we on PH dispise. However, she has come to me to ask what to do about child support - I don't have a clue.
When should she approach him with regards to child support? If he isn't interested (Currently denies it is his, but she assures me it has to be!) I'm assuming the best thing to do is get the Child Support Agency involved? If so, when should she do this? Before or after the baby is born?
Personally, I feel a bit sorry for the chap but at the end of the day I guess he needs to face his responsibilities.
Any advice from both sides of the fence welcome.
My better halfs sister is five months pregnant. This baby was concieved during a 'one night stand' with a chap she met at a nightclub. Fortunately, she knows who he is (!). She is 19 college student and he is in his early 30's and is a PE Teacher at a secondary school - working in this sector myself I know he'll be on about £28-29k.
When she found out she was pregant, she informed him. He did not want to keep the baby. She did, as she has strong issues about abortion.
Unfortunately, she will probably end up a 'dole scrounger' for a few years, and the type of person we on PH dispise. However, she has come to me to ask what to do about child support - I don't have a clue.
When should she approach him with regards to child support? If he isn't interested (Currently denies it is his, but she assures me it has to be!) I'm assuming the best thing to do is get the Child Support Agency involved? If so, when should she do this? Before or after the baby is born?
Personally, I feel a bit sorry for the chap but at the end of the day I guess he needs to face his responsibilities.
Any advice from both sides of the fence welcome.
What a mess. A completely avoidable mess.
Don't have a great deal of sympathy with either, presumably they know that there is a good chance of unprotected sex producing babies? But, hey, that's OK, just tax me a bit more to pay for it
Sorry, nothing much useful to add - first step is to approach him about it. If he denies "ownership" I suppose a DNA test is on the cards. Then if he still doesn't step up, CSA?
Don't have a great deal of sympathy with either, presumably they know that there is a good chance of unprotected sex producing babies? But, hey, that's OK, just tax me a bit more to pay for it
Sorry, nothing much useful to add - first step is to approach him about it. If he denies "ownership" I suppose a DNA test is on the cards. Then if he still doesn't step up, CSA?
NiceCupOfTea said:
What a mess. A completely avoidable mess.
Don't have a great deal of sympathy with either, presumably they know that there is a good chance of unprotected sex producing babies? But, hey, that's OK, just tax me a bit more to pay for it
Sorry, nothing much useful to add - first step is to approach him about it. If he denies "ownership" I suppose a DNA test is on the cards. Then if he still doesn't step up, CSA?
I completely agree with you, although to be fair I do think it was a case of a broken Durex and a failure of the morning after pill to work.Don't have a great deal of sympathy with either, presumably they know that there is a good chance of unprotected sex producing babies? But, hey, that's OK, just tax me a bit more to pay for it
Sorry, nothing much useful to add - first step is to approach him about it. If he denies "ownership" I suppose a DNA test is on the cards. Then if he still doesn't step up, CSA?
bigTee said:
get the CSA involed and all three are f
ked.
Why? (Genuinely interested, I have never had any call to even think about the CSA before!)ked.If he refuses to pay any child support privately, why should the CSA not get involved? Looking at their website it would suggest that he would need to pay in the order of £280-£300 per month.
Merlot said:
bigTee said:
get the CSA involed and all three are fked.
Why? (Genuinely interested, I have never had any call to even think about the CSA before!)ked.If he refuses to pay any child support privately, why should the CSA not get involved? Looking at their website it would suggest that he would need to pay in the order of £280-£300 per month.
And if she has such strong feelings about abortions, I doubt she took the aftermorning pill
Merlot said:
bigTee said:
get the CSA involed and all three are fked.
Why? (Genuinely interested, I have never had any call to even think about the CSA before!)ked.If he refuses to pay any child support privately, why should the CSA not get involved? Looking at their website it would suggest that he would need to pay in the order of £280-£300 per month.
In my opinion, if he wants out - forget him and try to handle it herself.
Merlot said:
bigTee said:
get the CSA involed and all three are fked.
Why? (Genuinely interested, I have never had any call to even think about the CSA before!)ked.If he refuses to pay any child support privately, why should the CSA not get involved? Looking at their website it would suggest that he would need to pay in the order of £280-£300 per month.
nownek said:
If she's on benefits then the csa will have to get involved. Any money received from the father will be offset against her benefits ie she won't receive the cash from him.
So, for example, if she was to receive £500 p/m benefits, this would be reduced by the same amount the father gave her as child support? (Ie, if it was £300 she would end up taking £200 benefits?).I guess this is better than living purely on the state?
ianash said:
Merlot said:
bigTee said:
get the CSA involed and all three are fked.
Why? (Genuinely interested, I have never had any call to even think about the CSA before!)ked.If he refuses to pay any child support privately, why should the CSA not get involved? Looking at their website it would suggest that he would need to pay in the order of £280-£300 per month.
ianash said:
Merlot said:
bigTee said:
get the CSA involed and all three are fked.
Why? (Genuinely interested, I have never had any call to even think about the CSA before!)ked.If he refuses to pay any child support privately, why should the CSA not get involved? Looking at their website it would suggest that he would need to pay in the order of £280-£300 per month.
Merlot said:
NiceCupOfTea said:
What a mess. A completely avoidable mess.
Don't have a great deal of sympathy with either, presumably they know that there is a good chance of unprotected sex producing babies? But, hey, that's OK, just tax me a bit more to pay for it
Sorry, nothing much useful to add - first step is to approach him about it. If he denies "ownership" I suppose a DNA test is on the cards. Then if he still doesn't step up, CSA?
I completely agree with you, although to be fair I do think it was a case of a broken Durex and a failure of the morning after pill to work.Don't have a great deal of sympathy with either, presumably they know that there is a good chance of unprotected sex producing babies? But, hey, that's OK, just tax me a bit more to pay for it
Sorry, nothing much useful to add - first step is to approach him about it. If he denies "ownership" I suppose a DNA test is on the cards. Then if he still doesn't step up, CSA?
Having said that, you would have to be incredibly unlucky to have a condom break AND M.A.P. failing (if taken correctly). IMHO a lot of "pill didn't work" / "condom broke" accidents are due to not following the instructions correctly.
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