Is this soft parenting?
Is this soft parenting?
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Discussion

Paul-427

Original Poster:

97 posts

116 months

So we are staying on a holiday village and my wife was returning from the snack bar with food. A small child, around 6 or 7 runs into her.

The mother, at a nearby table, looks at my wife and says "are you going to apologise to my daughter ? ".

My wife says "But your daughter ran into me. Surely she should apologise to me"

The response ? "Children should never apologise"

WTF ???

Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??

welshjon81

738 posts

171 months

Id say thats non parenting.

snuffy

13,269 posts

314 months

Then the response should have been "Ok, in that case, are you going to apologise to me on behalf of your child?"

Muzzer79

13,123 posts

217 months

I'd say that's st parenting, not soft parenting.

Unbelievable attitude.

Pincher

10,547 posts

247 months

"Then perhaps you should apologise on her behalf?" would have been my reply.





(About an hour later when I had thought of it biggrin )


Edit - didn't refresh screen before I replied, so didn't see snuffy's post smile

alscar

9,897 posts

243 months

Not soft but very poor parenting.
How will children actually learn.

Buzz84

1,717 posts

179 months

It all went wrong as soon as she demanded that your wife apologise for being ran into.

Then to reply what she did shows terrible parenting.

Will be one of these parents who believe children shouldn't ever be told no...

When I think about it, in the moment I may not get my kids to apologise, But I would definitely be apologising to the person on their behalf and then immediately telling them off for running around and not looking where they were going in a restaurant.

To be fair they wouldn't be running around in the first place, as we would be keeping an eye on them in the first place!

_Rodders_

4,426 posts

49 months

It's a 4 letter word and it does begin with S and end with T but it isn't soft.

trickywoo

14,189 posts

260 months

A 6 year old shouldn't be running around somewhere people are carrying food and could be bumped into in the first place.

Poor parenting in the first and second instances.

I have had it the other way where a woman tripped over my 7 year old because she wasn't looking where she was going. He was standing still and had been for a while. She tried to blame the kid and I told her bluntly it was her fault for not looking where she was going. For context it was school pickup with kids everywhere so to just walk into a kid stood still was pretty stupid.

DannyScene

8,175 posts

185 months

That's absolutely st parenting imo and only leads to further issues for the child moving forward lack of respect etc

Spare tyre

12,575 posts

160 months

All part of life’s rich tapestry

I wouldn’t give it a second thought

Countdown

49,482 posts

226 months

Paul-427 said:
Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??
Sadly there have always been crap parents, since time immemorial.

A normal parent would have apologised, and then also made her son/daughter apologise.

Actually a half-way decent parent would probably not have let their child run around like that.


vikingaero

13,330 posts

199 months

Paul-427 said:
So we are staying on a holiday village and my wife was returning from the snack bar with food. A small child, around 6 or 7 runs into her.

The mother, at a nearby table, looks at my wife and says "are you going to apologise to my daughter ? ".

My wife says "But your daughter ran into me. Surely she should apologise to me"

The response ? "Children should never apologise"

WTF ???

Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??
That child will eventually end up in a Young Offenders Institute having had no boundaries set.

Hoofy

80,074 posts

312 months

The "mother" probably drives a Byd and has a livelaughlove sign.

AB

20,499 posts

225 months

I'm smug in the knowledge that my daughter of 7 would immediately apologise profusely and feel embarrassed about it for a bit after I told her to stop running around in a snack bar.

Some parenting is utterly baffling, but to them it's probably pretty normal.

Somewhere in deepest depths of chavheads.co.uk there's someone complaining about the lady who didn't apologise to her little angel who nearly knocked the plate of chips she was having for breakfast out of her hand.


Rayny

2,377 posts

231 months

vikingaero said:
Paul-427 said:
So we are staying on a holiday village and my wife was returning from the snack bar with food. A small child, around 6 or 7 runs into her.

The mother, at a nearby table, looks at my wife and says "are you going to apologise to my daughter ? ".

My wife says "But your daughter ran into me. Surely she should apologise to me"

The response ? "Children should never apologise"

WTF ???

Am I really missing something or, with children and grandchildren, have we been wrong so long ??
That child will eventually end up in a Young Offenders Institute having had no boundaries set.
Alternatively :
That child will eventually end up as a university professor having had no boundaries set.


sinbaddio

2,859 posts

206 months

Children shouldn’t be running around in a bar in the first place.

We have parks and gardens for that. Terrible parenting.

dave123456

3,953 posts

177 months

Karen

Paul-427

Original Poster:

97 posts

116 months

dave123456 said:
Karen
Nope, that not my wife's name !

Paul-427

Original Poster:

97 posts

116 months

Spare tyre said:
All part of life s rich tapestry

I wouldn t give it a second thought
The only reason I have given it a second thought was my own incredulity that a grown, and presumably, intelligent person could even consider this a viable message for their child.