Valentine’s Day

Author
Discussion

Jim H

Original Poster:

1,286 posts

201 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
How was it for you guys?

Personally I must admit I’m deep in the throes of an absolute shocker of a mid-lifer at the moment.

Girlfriend far, far younger than myself.

We ended up in the middle of Manchester for a romantic meal. Then she said she wanted to do some shopping.

Led me right into an outlet going by the name of Ann Summers.

Any of you gents familiar with?.

She coed in my ear: “ Darling you pick an outfit for me”


It was like a kid in a sweet shop..

I could have bought the shop!

Bill

55,270 posts

267 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Worst "I'm a sugar daddy" thread ever!

StevieBee

14,032 posts

267 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Jim H said:
Led me right into an outlet going by the name of Ann Summers.

Any of you gents familiar with?.
Some years back, I ventured into one to purchase 'an implement' as jokey present for my wife.

At the checkout, I was asked the most unnecessary question ever asked:

"Would you like a bag?"

"Nah..... I'll walk the length of Lakeside shopping centre to the arse end of the car park holding a 12" purple dildo for all to see"



Funky Squirrel

411 posts

84 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
This is what online shopping with discreet packaging was made for!

Jim H

Original Poster:

1,286 posts

201 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Stevie, she was complaining the stockings were not the best quality

They were coming apart. I don’t remember being that rough. It was all in romance.

I was thinking: you’ve got a receipt my love - you can take them back.

I wouldn’t want to go back and ask for a refund - mind. fk that.

And yes the worst Sugar daddy thread ever!

Pincher

9,270 posts

229 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
StevieBee said:
Some years back, I ventured into one to purchase 'an implement' as jokey present for my wife.

At the checkout, I was asked the most unnecessary question ever asked:

"Would you like a bag?"

"Nah..... I'll walk the length of Lakeside shopping centre to the arse end of the car park holding a 12" purple dildo for all to see"
To be fair, it’s probably quite unlikely that anyone in Lakeside would have batted an eyelid!

Baldchap

8,965 posts

104 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Gave the wife her card and she's been sulking ever since for some reason.


Badda

3,100 posts

94 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
OP that’s quite the humblebrag. And yet here you are posting on PH when a younger man would still be in bed…

Cold

15,838 posts

102 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
Get in the van.


MikeM6

5,421 posts

114 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Being an adult and not single, I don't do Valentine's Day.


Sadly, my wife thinks differently....

dunkind

396 posts

32 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Cold said:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
Get in the van.
Many years ago I posted that same verse on a website. For some reason it creased me up no end and even now i still laugh. Then some woman wouldn’t stop harassing me over every subsequent post I made, what ever the topic. Turns out she’d been fked silly by a few dark chaps one night in their well upholstered van. Who knew?

Sheets Tabuer

20,074 posts

227 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Same sort of thing with me, Mrs a lot younger, came in wearing a police uniform. I thought yes here we go so I started nibbling her neck and she said feck off I've got a 12 hour shift.

So sat on my own watching a film.

Fallingup

1,674 posts

110 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Wife gave me a small flowering plant that I liked and I gave her a Basil plant from Tesco to use with her pasta. That's true love I tell ya.

ferret50

2,035 posts

21 months

Saturday 15th February
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All I got when I tickled 'er indoors bum was;

"Fek off, I'm asleep!"

frown

banghead

dunkind

396 posts

32 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Jim H said:
Led me right into an outlet going by the name of Ann Summers.

Any of you gents familiar with?.

She coed in my ear: “ Darling you pick an outfit for me”


It was like a kid in a sweet shop..

I could have bought the shop!
Jesus, Ann Summers?? Is this the council thread?
I was having an affair with the wife of my close mate a couple of years ago, don’t judge me I’ve been for counselling. She asked me to choose some garments from the AS website, this is a 45 year old woman that drives a Bentley Azure convertible, villas all over Europe and she wanted me to lower myself to AS underwear. I bought her some very nice pieces of silk Versace smalls and just cut a hole in the crotch. On reflection I’m not sure which is more council, banging your mate’s wife or wearing/buying Ann Summers attire.

edthefed

765 posts

79 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
dunkind said:
Jesus, Ann Summers?? Is this the council thread?
I was having an affair with the wife of my close mate a couple of years ago, don’t judge me I’ve been for counselling. She asked me to choose some garments from the AS website, this is a 45 year old woman that drives a Bentley Azure convertible, villas all over Europe and she wanted me to lower myself to AS underwear. I bought her some very nice pieces of silk Versace smalls and just cut a hole in the crotch. On reflection I’m not sure which is more council, banging your mate’s wife or wearing/buying Ann Summers attire.
She sounds very like my sister - should i tell BIL ?

Countdown

43,628 posts

208 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Bill said:
Worst "I'm a sugar daddy" thread ever!
Are you green wiith jealousy as well? biggrin

Dbag101

1,023 posts

6 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Pot noodle and Pornhub for me. Same old same old.

ferret50

2,035 posts

21 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
dunkind said:
Jesus, Ann Summers?? Is this the council thread?
I was having an affair with the wife of my close mate a couple of years ago, don’t judge me I’ve been for counselling. She asked me to choose some garments from the AS website, this is a 45 year old woman that drives a Bentley Azure convertible, villas all over Europe and she wanted me to lower myself to AS underwear. I bought her some very nice pieces of silk Versace smalls and just cut a hole in the crotch. On reflection I’m not sure which is more council, banging your mate’s wife or wearing/buying Ann Summers attire.
I guess that i depends on how big the hole in the crotch needed to be......

sperm

MDMA .

9,489 posts

113 months

Saturday 15th February
quotequote all
Badda said:
OP that’s quite the humblebrag. And yet here you are posting on PH when a younger man would still be in bed…
It’s half term wink

Only tramps shop at Ann Summers. Nothing to brag about.