Whatever happened to "please and thank you"?
Discussion
We have a young relative staying with us at the moment. The 12 year old niece of the OH.
We have fed her, taken her to a show, taken her out for meals, local attractions etc, probably spent £150+ on her alone.
Not one please or thank you.
Is this normal?
As a young kid, if I ever went to someone's house, my Mum would drill into me to say please and thank you and I would get the Spanish Inquisition when I got home to confirm that I did.
We have fed her, taken her to a show, taken her out for meals, local attractions etc, probably spent £150+ on her alone.
Not one please or thank you.
Is this normal?
As a young kid, if I ever went to someone's house, my Mum would drill into me to say please and thank you and I would get the Spanish Inquisition when I got home to confirm that I did.
Arrivalist said:
The response to this person in “what do you say”? followed by “you’re welcome”.
My response is normally "I think there was a word missing..."Other parents kids sometimes look shocked that they have been brought to task, but then I tend to find their parents are also role models for not saying "thank you" when you hand them a drink, etc so it's no shock that the kids emulate them.
Blame the makers of UK TV dramas. In almost every case the person being addressed turns and walks away without a word. I was taught that a message is not considered received until it has been acknowledged.
If dealing with your family, after handing an item over, grab it back and say, "Well, if it wasn't worth a thank you, you clearly didn't want it." If you provided a meal or service, don't do so again until they query why and then explain.
I've been with my partner for 23 years. I wouldn't dream of not thanking her for a meal, cup of tea, etc.
If dealing with your family, after handing an item over, grab it back and say, "Well, if it wasn't worth a thank you, you clearly didn't want it." If you provided a meal or service, don't do so again until they query why and then explain.
I've been with my partner for 23 years. I wouldn't dream of not thanking her for a meal, cup of tea, etc.
My 11 yo grandson always says please and thankyou, his mum (my daughter has drilled it into him), I took him out a couple of weeks ago to the Imperial War Museum, just me and him, upon leaving the museum "thankyou grandad for a great day", he just came out with it.
I see many adults whilst at work, they come in all sullen "where's the xyx?" no please, no thankyou!
People generally are just ruder!
I see many adults whilst at work, they come in all sullen "where's the xyx?" no please, no thankyou!
People generally are just ruder!
HTP99 said:
My 11 yo grandson always says please and thankyou, his mum (my daughter has drilled it into him), I took him out a couple of weeks ago to the Imperial War Museum, just me and him, upon leaving the museum "thankyou grandad for a great day", he just came out with it.
I see many adults whilst at work, they come in all sullen "where's the xyx?" no please, no thankyou!
People generally are just ruder!
That is commendable, I would be proud, same thing goes for table manners and even how to use cutlery. I wanted my step daughter to be able to sit down for dinner with the highest in the land and know what to do and how to behave. She was also taught to say thank you to the host and any staff.I see many adults whilst at work, they come in all sullen "where's the xyx?" no please, no thankyou!
People generally are just ruder!
She is long gone now, hated me for being strict but that is just the way I saw it, a blank sheet of paper for you to draw the adult that you hope they might be.
CammyN said:
HTP99 said:
My 11 yo grandson always says please and thankyou, his mum (my daughter has drilled it into him), I took him out a couple of weeks ago to the Imperial War Museum, just me and him, upon leaving the museum "thankyou grandad for a great day", he just came out with it.
I see many adults whilst at work, they come in all sullen "where's the xyx?" no please, no thankyou!
People generally are just ruder!
That is commendable, I would be proud, same thing goes for table manners and even how to use cutlery. I wanted my step daughter to be able to sit down for dinner with the highest in the land and know what to do and how to behave. She was also taught to say thank you to the host and any staff.I see many adults whilst at work, they come in all sullen "where's the xyx?" no please, no thankyou!
People generally are just ruder!
She is long gone now, hated me for being strict but that is just the way I saw it, a blank sheet of paper for you to draw the adult that you hope they might be.
I am very proud of him, however this is the way we brought our daughters up, to us it's what you do and normal.
It might be common but it's certainly not right in my view
It's just a reflection of the parenting or lack of.
We've always brought ours up to be polite, use manners and engage in conversation rather than the usual teenage grunt.
No excuse for it and if my niece behaved the same way I would politely and gently pick her up on it
It's just a reflection of the parenting or lack of.
We've always brought ours up to be polite, use manners and engage in conversation rather than the usual teenage grunt.
No excuse for it and if my niece behaved the same way I would politely and gently pick her up on it
Not just youngsters
I was recently involved with arranging a large charitable event with responsibility for bookings & table place allocation. I received many requests by email that did not feature either a please or thank you.
In one particular case there was criticism of the online booking form, I replied giving assistance advising that compliance with P’s & Q’s protocol was required. In the reply he confirmed that he did not know what P’s & Q’s were.
I was recently involved with arranging a large charitable event with responsibility for bookings & table place allocation. I received many requests by email that did not feature either a please or thank you.
In one particular case there was criticism of the online booking form, I replied giving assistance advising that compliance with P’s & Q’s protocol was required. In the reply he confirmed that he did not know what P’s & Q’s were.
I definitely think it is down to parenting. My 26yo niece recently sent me a snotty text message. My crime? I had the audacity to send her a humorous birthday card! No thank you or anything positive, just a massive moan about sending her a crappy card showing a cat eating birthday cake. Yet my two granddaughters aged 4 and 7 have immaculate manners, please Grandpa, thank you Grandpa. You don’t need the brains of a rocking horse to work out who is in the will and who is out!
interstellar said:
I would have said something. No way would I ignore it.
Don’t worry, I did! She was left in no doubt that I was both pissed off and would not be taking anymore s
t from her. The next text she sent, asked me to call her and she did say please. However, I told her that I would be calling her when I had reflected on her behavior and had calmed down sufficiently to have a constructive conversation on our relationship in the future. I will be calling her at the end of the month.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff