are people more inwards looking everywhere these days?
Discussion
I dont know if its just me, but are people just a lot less sociable these days? Im 32 and when I was a kid and in my teens strangers used to actually talk and people liked to be approached where ever you were. Now when ever I try to talk to people say in a pub or something, they just look at me weird or act awkward, its very rare anybody speaks, even when Im with my partner and children. Is it just more or has anyone else found this?
I think this is very area / situation specific. When I'm out walking the dog nearly every other dog walker wants to talk to me (generally asking the same questions), if I'm at a bike meet it feels perfectly acceptable to go an chat to a stranger about their bike but if someone struck a conversation with me in a Supermarket without reason I'd find it a bit weird.
Batswetmonth said:
I dont know if its just me, but are people just a lot less sociable these days? Im 32 and when I was a kid and in my teens strangers used to actually talk and people liked to be approached where ever you were. Now when ever I try to talk to people say in a pub or something, they just look at me weird or act awkward, its very rare anybody speaks, even when Im with my partner and children. Is it just more or has anyone else found this?
You need to start wearing trousers when outside I go to the gym 3 days a week at the same time on the same days.
90% of the time its the exact same people working out but no one ever talks to each other.
Do your sets and look at your phone. More sets, look at your phone.
Someone walks close past, look at the floor.
Its very weird.
Staff are no better, you say hi and they just blank you.
I have been going almost a year and only twice has someone said hello to me both times the cleaner!
The first gym I joined in the 90s was like a social club. People actually organised nights out and stuff like that.
Between sets it was banter and chatting. Male or female, didnt matter.
Now its, don't even make eye contact.
<shrugs>
90% of the time its the exact same people working out but no one ever talks to each other.
Do your sets and look at your phone. More sets, look at your phone.
Someone walks close past, look at the floor.
Its very weird.
Staff are no better, you say hi and they just blank you.
I have been going almost a year and only twice has someone said hello to me both times the cleaner!
The first gym I joined in the 90s was like a social club. People actually organised nights out and stuff like that.
Between sets it was banter and chatting. Male or female, didnt matter.
Now its, don't even make eye contact.
<shrugs>
Not sure where you live but in Newcastle you can talk to anyone and they will respond and happily engage with you. Liverpool (where my daughter lives) even more so - 10 minutes chatting to a stranger in a pub and you've had their life story, blood group and the whole nine yards.
Carlisle (where I'm in exile) much less so but it's a border city and they remain very suspicious of outsiders. Go to west Cumbria and more like the Geordies (shared heritage)
So it is very much dependent on where you live IME
Carlisle (where I'm in exile) much less so but it's a border city and they remain very suspicious of outsiders. Go to west Cumbria and more like the Geordies (shared heritage)
So it is very much dependent on where you live IME
gotoPzero said:
I go to the gym 3 days a week at the same time on the same days.
90% of the time its the exact same people working out but no one ever talks to each other.
Do your sets and look at your phone. More sets, look at your phone.
Someone walks close past, look at the floor.
Its very weird.
Staff are no better, you say hi and they just blank you.
I have been going almost a year and only twice has someone said hello to me both times the cleaner!
The first gym I joined in the 90s was like a social club. People actually organised nights out and stuff like that.
Between sets it was banter and chatting. Male or female, didnt matter.
Now its, don't even make eye contact.
<shrugs>
I could have written that.90% of the time its the exact same people working out but no one ever talks to each other.
Do your sets and look at your phone. More sets, look at your phone.
Someone walks close past, look at the floor.
Its very weird.
Staff are no better, you say hi and they just blank you.
I have been going almost a year and only twice has someone said hello to me both times the cleaner!
The first gym I joined in the 90s was like a social club. People actually organised nights out and stuff like that.
Between sets it was banter and chatting. Male or female, didnt matter.
Now its, don't even make eye contact.
<shrugs>
Yet, equally there are news stories that everyone is feeling lonelier. WTF is going on?
I blame working from home.
Lotobear said:
Not sure where you live but in Newcastle you can talk to anyone and they will respond and happily engage with you. Liverpool (where my daughter lives) even more so - 10 minutes chatting to a stranger in a pub and you've had their life story, blood group and the whole nine yards.
Carlisle (where I'm in exile) much less so but it's a border city and they remain very suspicious of outsiders. Go to west Cumbria and more like the Geordies (shared heritage)
So it is very much dependent on where you live IME
You’d be on our local Facebook group with tales like that. Dog bumming, chalk marking, “Forren” NONCECarlisle (where I'm in exile) much less so but it's a border city and they remain very suspicious of outsiders. Go to west Cumbria and more like the Geordies (shared heritage)
So it is very much dependent on where you live IME
I had to go to Manchester from Somerset, people in the garage were very freindly, as I was waiting I walked the dog & bought myself & him a quarter pounder one without onions. The staff were great, the other customers were really nice & happy to see the dog having his own meal ...i was quite blown away, i mentioned it to my sisters & they said they found quite a few places up past B'ham were very nice people ...
A colleague and I used to stand in the bar on the train home every night with several other regulars. Some spoke occasionally, some rarely, some didn't acknowledge us at all. A new face appeared and he wanted to talk. The three of us talked and had drinks every night until he bought a Kindle. Never spoke to us again. Locked in, locked away.
When I'm home in Surrey I find people are usually quite happy to stop and talk. I'd echo what others are saying regarding walking a dog, most folks have time to say hullo or stop and have a quick chat.
I think modern phones result in our gaze being more focussed in a downward direction rather than in a more horizontal direction where we'll meet the eyes of our lovely fellow citizens.
I think modern phones result in our gaze being more focussed in a downward direction rather than in a more horizontal direction where we'll meet the eyes of our lovely fellow citizens.
It’s been going on for a long time. In his 1805 autobiographical poem, William Wordsworth, a country boy, came to live in London. He wrote
Above all one thought
Baffled my understanding, how men lived
Even next door neighbours, as we say, yet still
Strangers, and not knowing each other’s names
Above all one thought
Baffled my understanding, how men lived
Even next door neighbours, as we say, yet still
Strangers, and not knowing each other’s names
Megaflow said:
gotoPzero said:
I go to the gym 3 days a week at the same time on the same days.
90% of the time its the exact same people working out but no one ever talks to each other.
Do your sets and look at your phone. More sets, look at your phone.
Someone walks close past, look at the floor.
Its very weird.
Staff are no better, you say hi and they just blank you.
I have been going almost a year and only twice has someone said hello to me both times the cleaner!
The first gym I joined in the 90s was like a social club. People actually organised nights out and stuff like that.
Between sets it was banter and chatting. Male or female, didnt matter.
Now its, don't even make eye contact.
<shrugs>
I could have written that.90% of the time its the exact same people working out but no one ever talks to each other.
Do your sets and look at your phone. More sets, look at your phone.
Someone walks close past, look at the floor.
Its very weird.
Staff are no better, you say hi and they just blank you.
I have been going almost a year and only twice has someone said hello to me both times the cleaner!
The first gym I joined in the 90s was like a social club. People actually organised nights out and stuff like that.
Between sets it was banter and chatting. Male or female, didnt matter.
Now its, don't even make eye contact.
<shrugs>
Yet, equally there are news stories that everyone is feeling lonelier. WTF is going on?
I blame working from home.
I’m suffering from a pretty bad back and a deteriorating hip joint at the moment. I can manage only two or three minutes on my feet before I have to sit down. Going to the shops (500 yards away) is all I can manage, but to achieve even this I have bought a clever walking stick that converts into a three legged stool. I have a little rest, and then I am good to go for another stage of the journey.
I have found that sitting on this on the pavement or in a shop almost invariably brings a comment, and initiates a little conversation. Often people ask if I am alright, which is nice of them, then remarks on how clever it is. I have met and chatted to all sorts of people locally while using this stick, from the local vicar, to a young man picking up litter - I didn’t ask why!
I call it my conversation chair. Perhaps all it takes, like dogs, is something to break the ice.
I have found that sitting on this on the pavement or in a shop almost invariably brings a comment, and initiates a little conversation. Often people ask if I am alright, which is nice of them, then remarks on how clever it is. I have met and chatted to all sorts of people locally while using this stick, from the local vicar, to a young man picking up litter - I didn’t ask why!
I call it my conversation chair. Perhaps all it takes, like dogs, is something to break the ice.
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