Relocated New Mates
Discussion
Yes - about 25 yrs ago I had a large group of pals and we all went out drinking and on holidays together etc. But then I changed jobs and one of them had a big problem with my new occupation and caused me all kind of problems, so much so he made it awkward for me and caused a scene whenever we were all out together, so I eventually ended up having to break off contact with them all.
I did have a few other separate pals, and I made more friends in my new job, but even to this day I still feel the pain of the sudden loss of so many friends, all because of one person.
I did have a few other separate pals, and I made more friends in my new job, but even to this day I still feel the pain of the sudden loss of so many friends, all because of one person.
Edited by LeadFarmer on Sunday 24th April 21:31
Yes, moved to SW London a few years ago in my late thirties now. I've found it pretty hard to try and make friends, but then again I'm not very good at trying to do that!
Work colleagues are great, I started indoor climbing last summer and met a few people but don't really see much of them outside of climbing.
It's certainly something I am aware of and need to improve. I'm still in touch with a few uni guys but we are spread some distance apart. Lost touch with my main group (old school friends) about 4-5 years ago when I divorced; they're all in different places and my move south has made it even harder, I do occasionally see one or two if them when I'm back visiting family.
I did think about trying meetup.com.
Work colleagues are great, I started indoor climbing last summer and met a few people but don't really see much of them outside of climbing.
It's certainly something I am aware of and need to improve. I'm still in touch with a few uni guys but we are spread some distance apart. Lost touch with my main group (old school friends) about 4-5 years ago when I divorced; they're all in different places and my move south has made it even harder, I do occasionally see one or two if them when I'm back visiting family.
I did think about trying meetup.com.
Babber101 said:
Anybody had to start again and build a new group of friends?
Long since lost touch with school, uni and old rugby mates. Having relocated and with a family I’m not finding it as easy to make new mates.
Too old for sport now but too young for the rambling and bridge clubs!
Obviously, shared interests are good and sports can be played by people of all ages.Long since lost touch with school, uni and old rugby mates. Having relocated and with a family I’m not finding it as easy to make new mates.
Too old for sport now but too young for the rambling and bridge clubs!
What about parents of children's friends? Women are usually good at getting to know people, and they may have partners that could becoem friends of yours.
Volunteering in your local community.
How old are your kids? I made loads of new friends through my kids' years at nursery and primary schools. Was out with a crowd of them on Saturday night - it was a ridiculously good party, felt like some sort of giant reunion. That doesn't really work when they are at seconday school, though.
The other place I've made a lot of new friends is my local football club. Having a season ticket and going regularly helps - doing away games even more so. You're all in it together and you can make strong bonds very quickly. I've made a bunch of new friends since lockdown - everyone's been filling their boots with home and away games. Lots of socialising possibilities before and after each game.
The other place I've made a lot of new friends is my local football club. Having a season ticket and going regularly helps - doing away games even more so. You're all in it together and you can make strong bonds very quickly. I've made a bunch of new friends since lockdown - everyone's been filling their boots with home and away games. Lots of socialising possibilities before and after each game.
It can be easy to make friends with any interest/hobby, but much of that friendship often only stays within the interest/hobby area.
I have seeral froups of friends, but by far the best are my caving friends/group. Possibly because it's a hobby were you really have to look out for each other, you become closer - so if I'm belaying, I'd check the equipment/rigging of the next person going up/down. And they would do the same for me.
Our socio/economic backgrounds are completely diverse. For example two of us went to public school, one is an exceptionally well spoken stockbroker, another is a project manager, one a procrastinator (me), a supermarket checkout girl, to an Essex accent common as muck lift engineer (but a diamond geezer).
I have seeral froups of friends, but by far the best are my caving friends/group. Possibly because it's a hobby were you really have to look out for each other, you become closer - so if I'm belaying, I'd check the equipment/rigging of the next person going up/down. And they would do the same for me.
Our socio/economic backgrounds are completely diverse. For example two of us went to public school, one is an exceptionally well spoken stockbroker, another is a project manager, one a procrastinator (me), a supermarket checkout girl, to an Essex accent common as muck lift engineer (but a diamond geezer).
I've been through this. It is quite hard, but friends do appear. Other parents are a good shout, in fact my main group of 'local friends' now is a group of 4 dads whose kids are all in the same classes at school. You don't say how old your kids are, but it does seem fairly normal for people to move around when their kids are young (maybe less so once the kids get into secondary school, and the disruption has more impact) so you may find there are a number of dads in a similar position.
I also joined an am-dram group. Not because I have any great interest in musical theatre, but because I was about 23 when I moved, and such groups are often full of women and teenage girls.
I didn't join to do any singing or prancing about on stage, but to do backstage stuff - set building, lighting and sound etc. Quite an enjoyable way to spend a few weekends actually, and everyone is both glad for the help and generally a pleasant bunch of folk to spend time with.
You say you have family, is your wife/partner in a similar position?
I also joined an am-dram group. Not because I have any great interest in musical theatre, but because I was about 23 when I moved, and such groups are often full of women and teenage girls.
I didn't join to do any singing or prancing about on stage, but to do backstage stuff - set building, lighting and sound etc. Quite an enjoyable way to spend a few weekends actually, and everyone is both glad for the help and generally a pleasant bunch of folk to spend time with.You say you have family, is your wife/partner in a similar position?
Sports and hobbies are the way forward. We've met loads of people through parkrun, age is not barrier to that, several 80 years olds at my previous one.
My wife wasn't working to begin with so joined a local womens club that organise walks, crafty stuff, book club, social nights, etc. I intended to try some new hobbies but lockdowns intervened so I need to get back to that now, but due to a back injury I might leave taking up kite surfing until next year.
My wife wasn't working to begin with so joined a local womens club that organise walks, crafty stuff, book club, social nights, etc. I intended to try some new hobbies but lockdowns intervened so I need to get back to that now, but due to a back injury I might leave taking up kite surfing until next year.
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