Stupid things your grown up kids say

[matchmaker]

Following on the thread about stupid things your missus says, I thought I'd start a similar one about our grown up kids. Last weekend, I'd been out for a few hours and came home to our older son with a plastered up finger and blood stains around the kitchen sink.

Him: "You didn't tell me that you'd sharpened the kitchen knives!"
Me: " My kitchen knives are always sharp"
Him: "You should still have warned me!"
Me: "Here's a warning - always assume a knife is sharp!"

He's 30...

[SturdyHSV]

matchmaker said:

He's 30...

Probably a bit late for a refund then, even if you kept the receipt

[Frimley111R]

30 yr old bloke shocked that kitchen knives can cut you! Not a lot of hope for him....

[matchmaker]

Frimley111R said:

30 yr old bloke shocked that kitchen knives can cut you! Not a lot of hope for him....

Especially as he is a rail track worker with umpteen safety certificates!

[Monkeylegend]

"You are living in my pension Dad"

[Magooagain]

Son: Can you give me £2,000 so I can pay off that debt.

Me: No.

Son: Why? You don't need it!

[popegregory]

Magooagain said:

Son: Can you give me £2,000 so I can pay off that debt.

Me: No.

Son: Why? You don't need it!

Hi dad

[fatboy b]

Frimley111R said:

30 yr old bloke shocked that kitchen knives can cut you! Not a lot of hope for him....

I’ve tried cooking in a friend’s kitchen. The ‘sharp’ knives couldn’t have cut jelly they were so blunt. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have a kitchen

[Magooagain]

popegregory said:

Magooagain said:

Son: Can you give me £2,000 so I can pay off that debt.

Me: No.

Son: Why? You don't need it!

Hi dad

You're still not getting any money lad!

[Drezza]

I wind my dad up by asking how my inheritance is doing every time he has his S&S portfolio open.

[mmm-five]

matchmaker said:

Especially as he is a rail track worker with umpteen safety certificates!

But I bet none of them mention kitchen knives.

[Spare tyre]

fatboy b said:

Frimley111R said:

30 yr old bloke shocked that kitchen knives can cut you! Not a lot of hope for him....

I’ve tried cooking in a friend’s kitchen. The ‘sharp’ knives couldn’t have cut jelly they were so blunt. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have a kitchen

My mother in law has one sharp knife other than the ones you use to eat.

It’s as sharp as a spoon. A blunt knife is more dangerous that a sharp one in my eyes

[Mr E]

fatboy b said:

I’ve tried cooking in a friend’s kitchen. The ‘sharp’ knives couldn’t have cut jelly they were so blunt. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have a kitchen

Similar. A friend came back into their kitchen to find me sharpening their knives.
The first question was “what are you doing”
The second was “oh is that what that thing is for”

[surveyor]

Steplad been asked to do a home COVID test. He’s 25, his sister 15 who does Rhea regularly.

Telling me it’s really hard and he needs help. The problem? He can’t open the packet!

[TorqueVR]

12 or so years ago when he was 24-ish. Came back from holiday and saw the brake discs on his motorbike has surface rust. "shall I spray them with WD40?

[Doofus]

Spare tyre said:

A blunt knife is more dangerous that a sharp one in my eyes

Sticking anything in your eyes is dangerous, sharp or not.

[smifffymoto]

I could fill pages with the st my 22 year old son comes out with but I’m not going to because it will show the world how I have failed as a parent.



Fortunately my daughter brings up my average by being very clever and thoughtful.