Ungrateful/Argumentative wife

[CoupeKid]

It's been about a fortnight since she was moved out OP.

Any update? Feeling better or are you giving it another go?

[rambo19]

Leave now.

[Starfighter]

Not as simple as that. The OPs parent live with him. The wife has moved out.

OP, are your parents dependent on you? A lawyer may be able to use this to help with your wife’s ability to get back in the home.

[Hoofy]

Wow, like the England game, that was a turn up for the books!

Well done, OPer, don't bend now.

[MrsLonely]

You talk alot about yourself, your needs, your feelings, your money, your time. Ever consider how she might be feeling? There is a book by Matthew Fray called "This is How Your Marriage Ends" I would suggest you read it, then read it again. You might just get some insight in to why your marriage is failing.

[bobtail4x4]

MrsLonely said:

You talk alot about yourself, your needs, your feelings, your money, your time. Ever consider how she might be feeling? There is a book by Matthew Fray called "This is How Your Marriage Ends" I would suggest you read it, then read it again. You might just get some insight in to why your marriage is failing.

Mrs dane?

[eldar]

MrsLonely said:

You talk alot about yourself, your needs, your feelings, your money, your time. Ever consider how she might be feeling? There is a book by Matthew Fray called "This is How Your Marriage Ends" I would suggest you read it, then read it again. You might just get some insight in to why your marriage is failing.

Not much of a recommendation if your user name is accurate

[sidewinder500]

bobtail4x4 said:

MrsLonely said:

You talk alot about yourself, your needs, your feelings, your money, your time. Ever consider how she might be feeling? There is a book by Matthew Fray called "This is How Your Marriage Ends" I would suggest you read it, then read it again. You might just get some insight in to why your marriage is failing.

Mrs dane?

There might be a possibility...

[jonamv8]

TheGreatDane said:

Her family came over, explain the situation.

They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.

The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.

Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.

Good on you to put human things such as happiness and contentment over religion or ethnic rubbish.

My 2p, bail mate and fast. No kids, repeat NOKIDS.

Best wishes bro

[TheGreatDane]

Will be 4 weeks this sat that she left.

Her family are adamant that I try again, I'm a firm no.

I've done my best, it wasn't good enough for her so that is that.

I'm not willing to put in any more effort to this cancerous relationship.

I am struggling being alone, not having much to do and just generally in a weird way missing her immensely.

And to address the post regarding her needs, she was very vocal and I did everything in my power to make her happy. If you're going to come at me negatively on nigh on everything what more can I do?

[interstellar]

Stay strong. It will come good for you. I did the same and sport was my saviour.

I walked , ran and rode every day. Fresh air helps massively so anytime you are lonely or bored just go out and walk.

It really helps clear the mind and it’s good for you.

[M4cruiser]

TheGreatDane said:

Will be 4 weeks this sat that she left.

Her family are adamant that I try again, I'm a firm no.

I've done my best, it wasn't good enough for her so that is that.

I'm not willing to put in any more effort to this cancerous relationship.

I am struggling being alone, not having much to do and just generally in a weird way missing her immensely.

And to address the post regarding her needs, she was very vocal and I did everything in my power to make her happy. If you're going to come at me negatively on nigh on everything what more can I do?

Stick with it sir, things will improve.
Those experienced in this will help you, it takes time but the "missing" will go away when you realise that overall it's an improvement.

[chrisgtx]

TheGreatDane said:

Will be 4 weeks this sat that she left.

Her family are adamant that I try again, I'm a firm no.

I've done my best, it wasn't good enough for her so that is that.

I'm not willing to put in any more effort to this cancerous relationship.

I am struggling being alone, not having much to do and just generally in a weird way missing her immensely.

And to address the post regarding her needs, she was very vocal and I did everything in my power to make her happy. If you're going to come at me negatively on nigh on everything what more can I do?

Well done my friend. The hard part is over. Now try and keep as occupied as possible. Try and engage with your friends. What about overtime if you enjoy your job? At least it’ll be getting some coin in to help with your future.

[Davie]

Dropped back in as morbid curiosity got the better of me and wasn't expecting much... however.... I echo the above. Well done that man, couldn't have been easy and it's likely they'd will be times you may question your decision but don't, stag focussed, surround yourself with support and it will get easier in time. Then, you'll soon find there's room for somebody new, better, who compliments you.

Seriously, I doff my cap to you sir.

[RSTurboPaul]

M4cruiser said:

TheGreatDane said:

Will be 4 weeks this sat that she left.

Her family are adamant that I try again, I'm a firm no.

I've done my best, it wasn't good enough for her so that is that.

I'm not willing to put in any more effort to this cancerous relationship.

I am struggling being alone, not having much to do and just generally in a weird way missing her immensely.

And to address the post regarding her needs, she was very vocal and I did everything in my power to make her happy. If you're going to come at me negatively on nigh on everything what more can I do?

Stick with it sir, things will improve.
Those experienced in this will help you, it takes time but the "missing" will go away when you realise that overall it's an improvement.

+1

Those leaving an abusive relationship can feel like something is missing if massive drama is not going on, which can see many return to the old ways because it is in some way comfortable / familiar.

But nothing is missing - it is normal to not have stupid hassles all the time.

Stay strong and focus on your future happiness/sanity. If it feels like you have not much do to with your time now you're not constantly dealing with stress(!), consider volunteering somewhere that helps others or will enable you to feel like you have achieved something.

[CKY]

Jimjimhim said:

NRG1976 said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

NRG1976 said:

If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.

Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.

You wouldn’t understand the advice unless you were ethnic. Sorry.

Stay unhappy for the rest of your life because of your ethnic background? Now that's really daft.

Allegedly the McRib can't make a come back in this country owing to certain ethnic beliefs, so there daftness isn't exclusive to interpersonal relationships. God bless Germany.

[fasimew]

CKY said:

Allegedly the McRib can't make a come back in this country owing to certain ethnic beliefs, so there daftness isn't exclusive to interpersonal relationships. God bless Germany.

That's crazy. How true is that?

Does that mean all maccys is halal? If so, why don't they advertise that? What about telling people a cheeseburger is made of cow, not cheese?

True story - a friend was eating maccys with a new colleague who was fresh off the boat. He had a cheeseburger and didn't realise it was beef. He literally thought it was cheese. The guy freaked out when my friend told him it was beef he was eating, not cheese.

[MB140]

My first wife was a nasty piece of work as our marriage deteriorated. She was putting it about behind my back and I eventually found out.

Biggest mistake of my life was forgiving her as she pleaded and promised to make more effort. 6 months later I found out she was at it again.

I should have trusted my guts earlier on in the marriage when it started to go wrong, never mind the massive mistake of forgiving her.

Op you know what the right choice is. If you give her another chance you’re just on a hiding to nothing.

[TotalControl]

TheGreatDane said:

Will be 4 weeks this sat that she left.

Her family are adamant that I try again, I'm a firm no.

I've done my best, it wasn't good enough for her so that is that.

I'm not willing to put in any more effort to this cancerous relationship.

I am struggling being alone, not having much to do and just generally in a weird way missing her immensely.

And to address the post regarding her needs, she was very vocal and I did everything in my power to make her happy. If you're going to come at me negatively on nigh on everything what more can I do?

Being BritPak also, I can wholeheartedly empathise with your situation. It's a clusterfk of emotions currently and emotional blackmail to come.

Unfortunately, this isn't really a religious issue of family wanting you to try again, it's very much cultural. If you are who I assume, then religiously it's all easy, culturally her family will feel she can't marry again etc. which is bs. I can tell you, it won't get better at all. If anything, it'll get worse than what you've experienced. I've seen it in my family.

Split, bounce, flounce, jet etc. but whatever you do, do not procreate with her. Dick in pants, lock it in. That's ammunition that will end you if you have a kid.

If you want to talk, PM me mate. Not sure where in the country you are, but this place has been good to me in the past when I went through it and even when my daughter passed many years ago with some solid members on here. Happy to return a favour.

[GliderRider]

TheGreatDane, its worth remembering that whenever anyone suggests you should give the marriage another go, it is not because it is in your best interest.