Went ballistic at my OH browsing my facebook
Discussion
isee said:
Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
They always reverse it.There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
V8mate said:
isee said:
V8mate said:
I'll give it seven days until you post again bleating about your wife having left you.
in 7 days maybe but at this precise moment in time i feel like i'd help her pack her things.
k-off huge diamond - you have no business being married.Edited by V8mate on Tuesday 31st March 16:55
The problem with society is that we haven't yet learned that it simply isn't "OK" to even expect to be able to access someone elses messages.
The whole childish "well what have you got to hide" argument only illustrates this point. Its the same as expecting the automatic entitlement to read someone elses diary.
The fact that some couples are perfectly happy to share an email address should have no bearing upon those who prefer to keep their own messaging more private.
The whole childish "well what have you got to hide" argument only illustrates this point. Its the same as expecting the automatic entitlement to read someone elses diary.
The fact that some couples are perfectly happy to share an email address should have no bearing upon those who prefer to keep their own messaging more private.
I do think it is bang out of order for her to be reading your private messages. I would react in a similar (but perhaps less harsh) manner, I should think. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to share everything (we're talking about stuff like money issues, car purchases and medical stuff, not cheating or anything).
She was being nosey!
Perhaps she doesn't trust you? have you been doing anything strange/differently lately.
Anyway, that doesn't matter, as she shouldn't have been looking at your stuff. It doesn't matter if it's your Facebook messages, private email, work email or post etc. It's none of her business what is in them. The same goes for post lying about the house, it might be open, but that doesn't give her the right to read it.
If she doesn't trust you enough to talk to you about it then there is something wrong with her. Why go looking for trouble.
Perhaps she doesn't trust you? have you been doing anything strange/differently lately.
Anyway, that doesn't matter, as she shouldn't have been looking at your stuff. It doesn't matter if it's your Facebook messages, private email, work email or post etc. It's none of her business what is in them. The same goes for post lying about the house, it might be open, but that doesn't give her the right to read it.
If she doesn't trust you enough to talk to you about it then there is something wrong with her. Why go looking for trouble.
For my money, just because you enter a relationship with someone it does not mean that you're not allowed any personal privacy any more. If you live with someone you automatically lose almost all private space anyway. If she was looking at his FB emails (rather than his public wall for example) then to me that is pretty out of order and no real difference from reading his post.
On the other hand, if I had done something like this (which I wouldn't) and my OH then took MY phone off me I would be apopleptic, and I would perhaps do more than just give him the silent treatment - what gives him the right? That's something I'd expect from my Dad, not my partner!
If I had have been the OP I would have expected an explanation, and an apology and would have left it at that - unless it happened again. If she did it again, it just reeks of either mistrust, disrespect, or both and is not a good sign for future relations.
On the other hand, if I had done something like this (which I wouldn't) and my OH then took MY phone off me I would be apopleptic, and I would perhaps do more than just give him the silent treatment - what gives him the right? That's something I'd expect from my Dad, not my partner!
If I had have been the OP I would have expected an explanation, and an apology and would have left it at that - unless it happened again. If she did it again, it just reeks of either mistrust, disrespect, or both and is not a good sign for future relations.
Mrs is always on my facebook.
Sometimes I think people want to hang onto a small part of singledom "just in case" maybe leave a few irons in the fire. I think if your going to go for a relationship you've got to cast off and accept these kind of things. It always amazes me when couples have separate bank accounts and things like that. The more you're willing to share the less you have to worry about. It makes for a lot easier and less stressful life in the long run. Oh and having joint bank accounts doubled my monthly pay too
Sometimes I think people want to hang onto a small part of singledom "just in case" maybe leave a few irons in the fire. I think if your going to go for a relationship you've got to cast off and accept these kind of things. It always amazes me when couples have separate bank accounts and things like that. The more you're willing to share the less you have to worry about. It makes for a lot easier and less stressful life in the long run. Oh and having joint bank accounts doubled my monthly pay too
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