Ungrateful/Argumentative wife

[Terminator X]

Life is too short, bug out.

TX.

[Wacky Racer]

Marry in haste repent at leisure.

I have been married 45 years, it's not always been a bed of roses, but we overcome most things by talking things through when things have calmed down a bit,.

Never ever be a doormat or punchbag, you luckily don't have any kids so bail out now.

[Captain Smerc]

Get out NOW.

[Silvanus]

Looking forward to the thread in 9 months when the baby arrives.

[GliderRider]

Move out now so there is no risk of being coerced/manipulated/whatever into sex with her. Don't trust claims of her using birth control and don't even trust condoms. Some women start wanting sex the moment you tell them its over.

Never ever underestimate the deviousness of a woman who has mentally checked out of a relationship. She may be wanting a divorce herself, and is either saying she wants a baby to push you into initiating the divorce, so you look like the bad person, or to get pregnant and get a house and maintenance for eighteen years at your expense. You mention that she says she should have married someone of a different ethnicity. If the two of you were pressured into marriage by families, maybe she had a boyfriend, even secretly, of that ethnicity that she still loves?

Looking back through your messages, given how unstable and unhappy she is, could it be that she stole the gold from your bedroom or arranged for it to be stolen to give herself an escape fund too?

Just get out of the relationship. If that's what she wants too, then fine. Don't worry for a moment what parents say, its your life and you will have to live with the consequences longer than they will.

Edited by GliderRider on Tuesday 11th June 00:40

[Jimjimhim]

Actual said:

TheGreatDane said:

Went abroad for our 1 year anniversary which I paid for...

I don 't understand how within a marriage the finances can be separate?

Really? It's quite simple, you both have your own bank account.

[Mandat]

Jimjimhim said:

Actual said:

TheGreatDane said:

Went abroad for our 1 year anniversary which I paid for...

I don 't understand how within a marriage the finances can be separate?

Really? It's quite simple, you both have your own bank account.

I don't think that it is that simple.

For example, my wife and I have our own separate bank accounts but we don't have separate finances.

[jdw100]

Actual said:

TheGreatDane said:

Went abroad for our 1 year anniversary which I paid for...

I don 't understand how within a marriage the finances can be separate?

Me too, but a lot of people operate like that.

With my ex (partner, not wife) everything we earned (salary, bonuses etc) went into the joint account and we drew out an ‘allowance’ each every month for our own discretionary spending.

[Jimjimhim]

jdw100 said:

Actual said:

TheGreatDane said:

Went abroad for our 1 year anniversary which I paid for...

I don 't understand how within a marriage the finances can be separate?

Me too, but a lot of people operate like that.

With my ex (partner, not wife) everything we earned (salary, bonuses etc) went into the joint account and we drew out an ‘allowance’ each every month for our own discretionary spending.

Thats the same really as having your pay go into your own account then every month sending money to your joint account.

It's the other way around but works just the same.

[jdw100]

Jimjimhim said:

jdw100 said:

Actual said:

TheGreatDane said:

Went abroad for our 1 year anniversary which I paid for...

I don 't understand how within a marriage the finances can be separate?

Me too, but a lot of people operate like that.

With my ex (partner, not wife) everything we earned (salary, bonuses etc) went into the joint account and we drew out an ‘allowance’ each every month for our own discretionary spending.

Thats the same really as having your pay go into your own account then every month sending money to your joint account.

It's the other way around but works just the same.

It does.

I was trying to make a point re separate finances. As in having your own money.

Friends of mine have been together years but will say things as ‘we were looking to go on holiday to xxxxxx but he doesn’t think he can afford it’.

[Twistedheat02]

EmailAddress said:

E92 335d

How has no one noticed this comment?

It's amazing, made me LOL!!!!!

[Yazza54]

Her saying she should have married another ethnicity is very strange, I must ask, what ethnicity is she?

I feel like she wants this baby to lock you down and bleed you dry.

[Forester1965]

Either click bait or attention seeking by the OP.

Do something or stop yacking about it.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

I doubt you are alone OP. Many men and women including many PHers might have trudged along the same route.

We were happy pre pregnancy and like many have had our ups and downs but if we were bickering before pregnancy?

Is she happy? Let's not forget her feelings. She's obviously not and like many, me included we can lACK introspective. Are you the best that you could be? Ask a friend for his honest opinion of your faults.

I once asked a work colleague (who I knew struggled with me) for her honest opinion on me. It bit but she was right!

EDIT- word mistyped.

Edited by Hugo Stiglitz on Tuesday 11th June 08:14

[STe_rsv4]

Silvanus said:

Looking forward to the thread in 9 months when the baby arrives.

Beat me to it.

[dundarach]

It might be you.

I've been married 3 times, I guess it's me.

Have you tried harder or talked to her about things?

Men and women are extremely different, for example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHzjgNoRmjg

Never met a man who understood this, EVERY single woman I've asked knew immediately!

[Upinflames]

OP, read your posts over the last 12 months. You know what to do, you don't need to ask on here.

[ThingsBehindTheSun]

STe_rsv4 said:

Silvanus said:

Looking forward to the thread in 9 months when the baby arrives.

Beat me to it.

Yes, it's inevitable.

I know you won't listen, but as someone who has been divorced you need to do it now and not have a baby with this woman.

Otherwise you will be tied to her for the next 20 years and she will bleed you dry.

Move out, do not have sex with her and start the divorce proceedings. The earlier you start the less painful it will be in the long run.

[mikeiow]

Ken_Code said:

I’ve just read through your previous threads. You didn’t want to get married, and then were looking for a divorce soon after the wedding.

You were given lots of good advice then, and chose to ignore it all, and not bother to update the threads. You don’t seem to have even replied to people who posted there.

Do you actually want advice to help you out, or is this a replay of those?

Haven’t read the threads, but this does look like a classic….OP knows the answer, but hasn’t responded to anyone,

[oddman]

GliderRider said:

You mention that she says she should have married someone of a different ethnicity. If the two of you were pressured into marriage by families, maybe she had a boyfriend, even secretly, of that ethnicity that she still loves?

I think this is quite perceptive. I took it that she is using racist tropes about equipment and performance to belittle him. Either way she has no respect for the OP and is treating him with contempt.

Probably the slowest car crash in PH history. Doesn't sound like the OP was making an independent choice in the first place. I imagine there is family pressure to start producing kids too. Most of us responding come from a culture where we make our own choices and mistakes in relationships and fixing them is down to the couple. Doesn't sound like the OP is able to do this. Owning your mistakes, talking to your parents and in laws about what a disaster the marriage is without attributing blame might work better than posting here.