Ungrateful/Argumentative wife
Discussion
There’s been some fantastic responses and advice given on this thread and I have nothing else to add to it other than add a little more weight to what has already been said.
A close friend of mine went through this with his narcissistic partner, something which he kept secret from us for many years.
They have been apart for nearly 5 years, and while she is still trying to ruin his life with little to no success, his life now without her is infinitely better.
A close friend of mine went through this with his narcissistic partner, something which he kept secret from us for many years.
They have been apart for nearly 5 years, and while she is still trying to ruin his life with little to no success, his life now without her is infinitely better.
TheGreatDane said:
Her family came over, explain the situation.
They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
Be aware that her family are at least partially responsible for your wife's behaviour.They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
They've enabled her attitude by not challenging it well before you two ever met.
They will probably find it difficult to square that circle and take an objective view. More likely that they'll assume that the problem is you.
Denial can be a powerful thing.
TheGreatDane said:
They've taken her whilst they give me time to think.
I know this sounds mercenary, but - you've been married less than a year, and if I remember the house was entirely yours before marriage? And she is now not on the premises for a whiile?In the nicest possible way, I'd be taking steps to ensure that not-on-the-premises situation continues. Be wary of the legalities of it (hence others' advice to get a solicitor asap)
At the very least, draw-out your "thinking about it" phase until you have taken legal advice and put at least some of it in place.
Just my 2p but if the OP's parents are willing to risk family "dishonour" and loss of face within the community then the poor guy's wife must be totally bat s
t mental
I did notice earlier in the thread that he said he gave as good as he got and I wonder if this has contributed? People with ADHD (which the wife might have) can't back down and it sounds like the OP is taking the fight to her. Don't get drawn in. Sometimes a simple "Uh, huh. Yes dear. How was your day?" de-escalates the situation.
t mental I did notice earlier in the thread that he said he gave as good as he got and I wonder if this has contributed? People with ADHD (which the wife might have) can't back down and it sounds like the OP is taking the fight to her. Don't get drawn in. Sometimes a simple "Uh, huh. Yes dear. How was your day?" de-escalates the situation.
TheGreatDane said:
Her family came over, explain the situation.
They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
That's good, I think you are moving in the right direction.They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
It's hard to get the world to understand that domestic abuse against men is a thing. I've been there. It's depressing, because the man is always assumed to be in the wrong. That's my opinion anyway, having spoken to many at the time.
TheGreatDane said:
I've been married for 1 year and if you look at my post history it's been a very turbulent year. We argue all the time over the most mundane things and not being biased here, but I never ever start it.
I am not sure if you had a loving relationship prior to getting married but I think you already know what you need to do. This is not a marriage, it is not a relationship. If this was a friend you would have removed them from your life by now.Short Grain said:
Time to think my arse! Get legal advice OP. If the house was owned by you prior to marriage, you need to talk to a solicitor, and soon. If you're determined to get out of what sounds like an awful situation, you need to defend your assets as well! Good Luck!
Indeed.Good luck, OP!
Can only echo the “speak to a lawyer” right now, if you haven’t already.
The family/her will likely try and throw a lot of things at you, but in most things, the law is the law and having someone navigate those choppy waters for you will pay dividends down the line, and may even stop the process being derailed.
The family/her will likely try and throw a lot of things at you, but in most things, the law is the law and having someone navigate those choppy waters for you will pay dividends down the line, and may even stop the process being derailed.
I’ve been following this with interest.
OP - you do what is best for you, you have to walk your own path.
If it was me though I cannot imagine the sense of relief at being free of such a person as your wife. At the moment it just sounds like an ordeal - and if you were to have a child with her you are totally fked.
Im glad you’ve plucked up the courage to get where you are now, just hold your nerve. Do not let her get her foot back in the door.
OP - you do what is best for you, you have to walk your own path.
If it was me though I cannot imagine the sense of relief at being free of such a person as your wife. At the moment it just sounds like an ordeal - and if you were to have a child with her you are totally f
ked. Im glad you’ve plucked up the courage to get where you are now, just hold your nerve. Do not let her get her foot back in the door.
Do not try to deny her entry back into the house.
It's the marital home no matter who has paid for it etc..
It just gives the wife/wife's family ammunition to make it more difficult than it needs to be.
Even if you have to giver her a small percentage for a clean break it still sounds like a bargain IMO.
You can recover the financial loss over time, but recovering mentally if it becomes difficult will take a lot longer.
It's the marital home no matter who has paid for it etc..
It just gives the wife/wife's family ammunition to make it more difficult than it needs to be.
Even if you have to giver her a small percentage for a clean break it still sounds like a bargain IMO.
You can recover the financial loss over time, but recovering mentally if it becomes difficult will take a lot longer.
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