Ungrateful/Argumentative wife
Discussion
Sheets Tabuer said:
NRG1976 said:
If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.
Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.NRG1976 said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
NRG1976 said:
If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.
Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.NRG1976 said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
NRG1976 said:
If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.
Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.
Jimjimhim said:
NRG1976 said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
NRG1976 said:
If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.
Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.NRG1976 said:
Jimjimhim said:
NRG1976 said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
NRG1976 said:
If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.
Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.He needs to get out of this relationship and he needs to get out quickly.
NRG1976 said:
Sheets Tabuer said:
NRG1976 said:
If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.
Stay in an abusive relationship, great advice.“Sorry, you won’t understand British culture if you don’t drink.”
The influence of parents in a relationship has nothing to do with ethnicity. It may have a lot to do with religion or cultural expectations but it’s also complete BS & victim blaming.
No doubt the parents would prefer this to all go away while the OP lives a life half lived so his father in law doesn’t loose face.
Dick.
I'll apologise, I haven't read the whole thread, only the first page.
I do have some extended family experience of this and it's heartbreaking to watch. The writing is on the wall but it's impossible to see from within.
What will eventually happen is you'll provide everything and be gas lighted into believing you're not providing nearly enough, you're not good enough and you need to do more for the family, she'll control almost everything you do. A few years down the line and you'll be a wrecked shell of a human being. Make no mistakes about it, this IS domestic abuse. In the case I'm familiar with this led to multiple suicide attempts and regular breakdowns. This person will never ever be the same again. (There is a child involved too).
If the MO is the same you'll get do a low dip and then she'll be nice again, all lovey dovey, supportive and reassuring etc and you'll believe that you are good enough after all and maybe it was you casting doubts in your head. Then the cycle starts again.
Get out. Right now.
ETA:
Having read more of the read more of the thread and your replies you seem more concerned about her physical and mental health than yours. This is because she's a psycho and already started to gaslight you. You can't do anything due to entrapment/fear of consequences. This is a police matter. I would suggest you contact some men's domestic abuse hotlines. Despite cultural and gender preconceptions - this is not anything to be ashamed of BUT YOU HAVE TO ACT.
I do have some extended family experience of this and it's heartbreaking to watch. The writing is on the wall but it's impossible to see from within.
What will eventually happen is you'll provide everything and be gas lighted into believing you're not providing nearly enough, you're not good enough and you need to do more for the family, she'll control almost everything you do. A few years down the line and you'll be a wrecked shell of a human being. Make no mistakes about it, this IS domestic abuse. In the case I'm familiar with this led to multiple suicide attempts and regular breakdowns. This person will never ever be the same again. (There is a child involved too).
If the MO is the same you'll get do a low dip and then she'll be nice again, all lovey dovey, supportive and reassuring etc and you'll believe that you are good enough after all and maybe it was you casting doubts in your head. Then the cycle starts again.
Get out. Right now.
ETA:
Having read more of the read more of the thread and your replies you seem more concerned about her physical and mental health than yours. This is because she's a psycho and already started to gaslight you. You can't do anything due to entrapment/fear of consequences. This is a police matter. I would suggest you contact some men's domestic abuse hotlines. Despite cultural and gender preconceptions - this is not anything to be ashamed of BUT YOU HAVE TO ACT.
Edited by Ambleton on Sunday 16th June 07:45
Ambleton said:
I'll apologise, I haven't read the whole thread, only the first page.
I do have some extended family experience of this and it's heartbreaking to watch. The writing is on the wall but it's impossible to see from within.
What will eventually happen is you'll provide everything and be gas lighted into believing you're not providing nearly enough, you're not good enough and you need to do more for the family, she'll control almost everything you do. A few years down the line and you'll be a wrecked shell of a human being. Make no mistakes about it, this IS domestic abuse. In the case I'm familiar with this led to multiple suicide attempts and regular breakdowns.
If the MO is the same you'll get do a low dip and then she'll be nice again, all lovey dovey, supportive and reassuring etc and you'll believe that you are good enough after all and maybe it was you casting doubts in your head. Then the cycle starts again.
Get out. Right now.
This. Have a friend who went through exactly this recently, it took him to the point of mental breakdown before he would walk. She managed to headfI do have some extended family experience of this and it's heartbreaking to watch. The writing is on the wall but it's impossible to see from within.
What will eventually happen is you'll provide everything and be gas lighted into believing you're not providing nearly enough, you're not good enough and you need to do more for the family, she'll control almost everything you do. A few years down the line and you'll be a wrecked shell of a human being. Make no mistakes about it, this IS domestic abuse. In the case I'm familiar with this led to multiple suicide attempts and regular breakdowns.
If the MO is the same you'll get do a low dip and then she'll be nice again, all lovey dovey, supportive and reassuring etc and you'll believe that you are good enough after all and maybe it was you casting doubts in your head. Then the cycle starts again.
Get out. Right now.
k him into genuinely believing that their relationship was only bad 5% of the time instead the the 95% it actually was. Thankfully they didn't get married or anything but I was terrified he would knock her up and be stuck with this mental b
h for life... Turned out it nearly happened.. when he was clearing her st out he found a condom with a perfect needle hole in it in bed bedside drawer. Now he's "found himself" again, which sounds so cliché, but he literally changed as a person during that time. Try and take the coming months in your stride because a better life is around the corner.
eldar said:
Radec said:
Great trolling from OP again.
Does rather look like it. Or just unwilling to listen to advice they don't want to hear. 
Her family came over, explain the situation.
They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
TheGreatDane said:
Her family came over, explain the situation.
They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
Short term pain, long term gain. They've taken her whilst they give me time to think. Not going to change my mind.
The comment above about discussing with family and trying to salvage it, I get it but I'm more western in my life/beliefs so that has no bearing on my decision.
Can't live a life of pain to appease a bunch of 65+ year olds.
Well done Great Dane. Just by her not being there it will give you time to think and space. Hopefully already now you have told her it feels better in a way it’s out.
Keep talking here, it will help. I did the same as you 6 years ago. Best thing I ever did.
You have to look after yourself first and foremost.
Well done so far, it’s tough but you are getting somewhere now.
Keep talking here, it will help. I did the same as you 6 years ago. Best thing I ever did.
You have to look after yourself first and foremost.
Well done so far, it’s tough but you are getting somewhere now.
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