Ungrateful/Argumentative wife

[MC Bodge]

Has the OP ever divulged his family's cultural background?

I am interested to know as his situation seems very different to the vast majority of (virtually secular) UK people that I am aware of in recent decades (probably post WW2)

There are of course people who regret marrying somebody, but given the earlier threads, including pre-marriage, most people would probably not have gone this far before getting out of it

Edited by MC Bodge on Thursday 13th June 19:47

[LunarOne]

MC Bodge said:

Has the OP ever divulged his family's cultural background?

No, he hasn't.

Not being facetious, but you know there's a "OP posts only" button? That's always a quick way to see everything the OP has contributes, even in multi-page threads. It seems most people don't seem to know about it!

[NRG1976]

I’d stick around. Get camera up. Gather evidence. Then push for divorce.

[MC Bodge]

LunarOne said:

MC Bodge said:

Has the OP ever divulged his family's cultural background?

No, he hasn't.

Not being facetious, but you know there's a "OP posts only" button? That's always a quick way to see everything the OP has contributes, even in multi-page threads. It seems most people don't seem to know about it!

I am aware of that. He has posted various threads from what I recall. I was not intending to trawl through them.

[TheGreatDane]

By getting the ball rolling I have told my family that I want a divorce, they are fully supportive of it.

Going to sort things Monday, due to it being Eid Sunday and I don't want to ruin everyones day.

We are both British Pakistani and it wasn't arranged, we met fell in love and got married.

I'm not backing out but I feel extremely beaten up inside, almost like someone has died.

[MC Bodge]

TheGreatDane said:

By getting the ball rolling I have told my family that I want a divorce, they are fully supportive of it.

Going to sort things Monday, due to it being Eid Sunday and I don't want to ruin everyones day.

We are both British Pakistani and it wasn't arranged, we met fell in love and got married.

I'm not backing out but I feel extremely beaten up inside, almost like someone has died.

Thanks for answering, it gives a bit of context.

I hope that you can resolve what sounds to be a very a difficult situation.

[Jimjimhim]

TheGreatDane said:

By getting the ball rolling I have told my family that I want a divorce, they are fully supportive of it.

Going to sort things Monday, due to it being Eid Sunday and I don't want to ruin everyones day.

We are both British Pakistani and it wasn't arranged, we met fell in love and got married.

I'm not backing out but I feel extremely beaten up inside, almost like someone has died.

Keep the momentum going, do something towards it every day. The sooner you're single the sooner you can get on with enjoying your life.

[Starfighter]

There is no need for any evidence. Divorce does not require there to be blame. The applicant just needs to indicate the reason for the application but not any proof.

[loudlashadjuster]

TheGreatDane said:

By getting the ball rolling I have told my family that I want a divorce, they are fully supportive of it.

Going to sort things Monday, due to it being Eid Sunday and I don't want to ruin everyones day.

We are both British Pakistani and it wasn't arranged, we met fell in love and got married.

I'm not backing out but I feel extremely beaten up inside, almost like someone has died.

well done

It’s natural to feel hollowed-out inside, and I’m sure there will be manipulation and coercion to try to get you to change your mind, which might be tempting (“I’ll change!” “I see now how I was acting!”) but something tells me that’s not the right path for you.

Stay the course. Good luck!

[Hugo Stiglitz]

OP how old are you both?

I'm not saying it is this but when my wife was Perimenopause nothing I did was right, ever. It went on for a year.

[Double Fault]

Don't forget to keep an eye on where you want to get to.

Sure, you're giving something up here, but you're gaining a whole lot more.

[TheGreatDane]

Told her.

She's crying her eyes out and literally begging me, won't let me leave a room until I change my mind.

This is beyond tough.

[chrisgtx]

It’s hard I know, but stick to your guns.
You’ve given it your best shot to try and improve things.
Stick to your plan.

[Starfighter]

TheGreatDane said:

Told her.

She's crying her eyes out and literally begging me, won't let me leave a room until I change my mind.

This is beyond tough.

Be prepared to call the police on 112 and ask for them to attend whilst you leave.
One sniff of you pushing past her and you can expect to be arrested.

[interstellar]

It will get worse before better in reality but focus on the end goal of being happy and you will get there.

Do not give in whatever she says. You’ve got this

[GliderRider]

TheGreatDane said:

Told her.

She's crying her eyes out and literally begging me, won't let me leave a room until I change my mind.

This is beyond tough.

TheGreatDane, it will be tough; very tough. Your wife will be convinced she's done nothing wrong. People who behave as she has have absolutely no self-awareness. If you do cave in, you are going to spend your lives like a couple of battling tops, and any children you have will grow up in a toxic stress-laden environment in which their parents do not communicate and are not a cohesive team.

For the long term good of everyone you must stick to your guns. The fact that your parents, who, as I recall, live with you, agreed pretty quickly that it was the right thing, shows that they are not blind to how hard it has been for you.

There are seven billion people in the world. At least two of those people are a better match for you and your wife. Be strong, be firm.

[Digger]

TheGreatDane said:

Told her.

She's crying her eyes out and literally begging me, won't let me leave a room until I change my mind.

This is beyond tough.

Get out the house & go for a walk. Take keys obviously. . .

[Mortarboard]

Digger said:

Get out the house & go for a walk. Take keys obviously. . .

And make an appointment with your GP. You need to look after your health too.

M.

[king arthur]

Digger said:

Get out the house & go for a walk. Take keys obviously. . .

Yes, and when you are in the house make sure you have essentials with you at all times. E.g. do not go into the bathroom in the morning without your wallet. If she's anything like mine was, she will take any opportunity to go in there and remove all your cash and cards so you do not have access to any money if you leave the house. And that was long before we even separated.

[NRG1976]

If you’re a Pakistani couple talk it through and if need be bring the parents into the discussion to create a balance. Don’t push the nuclear button yet.