Parents moving away
Discussion
S100HP said:
Well. Things have kind of escalated this week.
As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "we’re off now, will let you know when we arrive
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then f
ked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.
So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
You are massively over sensitive and are concluding everything from a very selfish space. As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "we’re off now, will let you know when we arrive
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then f
ked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
S100HP said:
Well. Things have kind of escalated this week.
As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "were off now, will let you know when we arrive".
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then fked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.
So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
Really sorry to hear that. As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "were off now, will let you know when we arrive".
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then f
ked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
This isn’t going to be easy. Compared with others posting here, your situation is more complex.
Looks like your mum is going into the “low contact”/“no contact” world. And, sad though it is, I think that’s what you’re going to have to do yourself. It’s worth reading about it.
There is clearly something more going on here with your step father’s influence and the whole horse thing (I’ve suffered some of that).
If it was me, I’d send one message to say that you’re sorry it has come to this and you will happily see her whenever she wants to. And then send her your family’s love and wish her well.
Hug your kids, tell them you love them then never speak about it again. And go see a therapist for your own wellbeing.
borcy said:
Expecting to have some communication with your parents is selfish?
Throughout the thread he has given off the impression that he is a needy 5 year old despite being a grown man. Wahhh mummy come back and hug me waaaaa
I don't necessarily agree with the way she seems to have handled it for what's it's worth, but she wants a new type of life and seemingly isn't arsed about OP whining about it, so she f
ked off accordingly. I'm sure she won't miss the constant begging for boob milk Edited by Sycamore on Friday 28th June 21:47
borcy said:
Seventyseven7 said:
You are massively over sensitive and are concluding everything from a very selfish space.
Expecting to have some communication with your parents is selfish?Also completely irrelevant to what I had quoted.
Sycamore said:
borcy said:
Expecting to have some communication with your parents is selfish?
Throughout the thread he has given off the impression that he is a needy 5 year old despite being a grown man. Wahhh mummy come back and hug me waaaaa
I don't necessarily agree with the way she seems to have handled it for what's it's worth, but she wants a new type of life and seemingly isn't arsed about OP whining about it, so she f
ked off accordingly. I'm sure she won't miss the constant begging for boob milk Edited by Sycamore on Friday 28th June 21:47
Seems he would like his mum to have some relationship with his kids rather than him.
borcy said:
I think there's a lot of ground between wanting some communication with your parents and constantly begging for boob milk.
Seems he would like his mum to have some relationship with his kids rather than him.
I guess I’d like my parents to be many things, but first and foremost though I support their right to live their lives as best they see fit. Even if it doesn’t fit my view. Seems he would like his mum to have some relationship with his kids rather than him.
I’m sure as a son, I’m not 100% what they think I should be either. But no big need to fall out with each other.
Sycamore said:
Throughout the thread he has given off the impression that he is a needy 5 year old despite being a grown man.
Wahhh mummy come back and hug me waaaaa
I don't necessarily agree with the way she seems to have handled it for what's it's worth, but she wants a new type of life and seemingly isn't arsed about OP whining about it, so she fked off accordingly. I'm sure she won't miss the constant begging for boob milk
Wahhh mummy come back and hug me waaaaa
I don't necessarily agree with the way she seems to have handled it for what's it's worth, but she wants a new type of life and seemingly isn't arsed about OP whining about it, so she f
ked off accordingly. I'm sure she won't miss the constant begging for boob milk Seventyseven7 said:
You are massively over sensitive and are concluding everything from a very selfish space.
There’s some proper low IQ / EQ individuals trolling on here, ignore them OP.It’s not normal she’s not attempted to say goodbye, nor advised / visited when collecting her horse.
Just focus on your family unit, the advice given earlier to calmly share how you feel privately is probably best.
bennno said:
Sycamore said:
Throughout the thread he has given off the impression that he is a needy 5 year old despite being a grown man.
Wahhh mummy come back and hug me waaaaa
I don't necessarily agree with the way she seems to have handled it for what's it's worth, but she wants a new type of life and seemingly isn't arsed about OP whining about it, so she fked off accordingly. I'm sure she won't miss the constant begging for boob milk
Wahhh mummy come back and hug me waaaaa
I don't necessarily agree with the way she seems to have handled it for what's it's worth, but she wants a new type of life and seemingly isn't arsed about OP whining about it, so she f
ked off accordingly. I'm sure she won't miss the constant begging for boob milk Seventyseven7 said:
You are massively over sensitive and are concluding everything from a very selfish space.
There’s some proper low IQ / EQ individuals trolling on here, ignore them OP.It’s not normal she’s not attempted to say goodbye, nor advised / visited when collecting her horse.
Just focus on your family unit, the advice given earlier to calmly share how you feel privately is probably best.
I bolded the above where the OP is upset because his parents didn’t pop in to say goodbye in the middle of a huge house move. The OP is a fully grown adult. Moving house is stressful enough, and moving such a distance adds even more stress. It’s completely reasonable for the parents to focus on the move and not feel they need to pop in and see their adult son during the move. There are several actions in which the OP is being completely unreasonable over and making himself even more angry because of it.
You're calling the OP a baby, but don't like a bit of ad hom back. 
OMITN said:
S100HP said:
Well. Things have kind of escalated this week.
As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "were off now, will let you know when we arrive".
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then fked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.
So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
Really sorry to hear that. As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "were off now, will let you know when we arrive".
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then f
ked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
This isn’t going to be easy. Compared with others posting here, your situation is more complex.
Looks like your mum is going into the “low contact”/“no contact” world. And, sad though it is, I think that’s what you’re going to have to do yourself. It’s worth reading about it.
There is clearly something more going on here with your step father’s influence and the whole horse thing (I’ve suffered some of that).
If it was me, I’d send one message to say that you’re sorry it has come to this and you will happily see her whenever she wants to. And then send her your family’s love and wish her well.
Hug your kids, tell them you love them then never speak about it again. And go see a therapist for your own wellbeing.
S100HP said:
Well. Things have kind of escalated this week.
As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "were off now, will let you know when we arrive".
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then fked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.
So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
Just hold a nice funeral for your mother and take plenty of pictures of the wake of everyone having fun and post them on FB. Job done. Message sent. Life moved on. As mentioned, I got a message Thursday morning saying they were going Friday, which they did, without further communication. No popping in to say goodbye to myself or the kids, nor my nan. She spoke with my nan on the phone as said she was going, and she'd see her when she came back for her horse.
My kids were pretty upset they didn't get to say goodbye to her. I'm was pretty annoyed too. Not even a message to say "were off now, will let you know when we arrive".
That evening she posted on Facebook about her new place. My step sister saw this and rightly was pissed. Basically said "WTF". Her mum, his ex, also saw this and went mental at them. My mother then deleted them both. She's been her stepmother for 40 years, yet just blocked her.
I had a couple of civil messages from my mother saying she was hopefully coming back to get her horse this week, asking how we were etc. Nothing major.
The on Wednesday my Nan told me she had been back to get her horse. She arrived on Tuesday evening, stayed with a friend and left Wednesday morning, without telling me, and not seeing her mother. She then posted a picture of her horse at their new place for everyone to see, but purposely blocked me from seeing it (you can choose who to exclude from seeing certain things), but not my wife, who then showed me.
Was pretty pissed off now. Not only had she left without saying bye, but returned then f
ked off again. When she originally went I thought maybe we'd see her when she came back and that would be goodbye, but clearly not in her book.So I told her that leaving like she did is incredibly hurtful, and what they've done to my step sister is unforgivable. So that's where we are at. I now have zero relationship with my mother. Cannot believe it's ended like this.
Thanks for all the feedback, in it's varying forms. I am reading it all and taking it all in.
As I've mentioned several times if it was just me, I'd not really care. I genuinely mean that. I spent several years living in France when younger, so it's nothing to do with needing "boob milk". My frustration is much more how its been done, especially with grandkids involved, alongside abandoning her 88 year old partially sighted mother.
Mine are 7 and 11, my sisters kid (who remember they didn't even tell beforehand) is now 15. Again, if my stepdad wasn't such an ahole to people, kids especially, then I'd not feel so negative.
Regardless, what is done is done now. He's not made contact with his daughter as yet despite her trying.
Interestingly my mother did message my son yesterday an apology for leaving without seeing them both and why she didn't see them when she popped back so maybe her conscious has briefly reappeared.
As I've mentioned several times if it was just me, I'd not really care. I genuinely mean that. I spent several years living in France when younger, so it's nothing to do with needing "boob milk". My frustration is much more how its been done, especially with grandkids involved, alongside abandoning her 88 year old partially sighted mother.
Mine are 7 and 11, my sisters kid (who remember they didn't even tell beforehand) is now 15. Again, if my stepdad wasn't such an a
hole to people, kids especially, then I'd not feel so negative.Regardless, what is done is done now. He's not made contact with his daughter as yet despite her trying.
Interestingly my mother did message my son yesterday an apology for leaving without seeing them both and why she didn't see them when she popped back so maybe her conscious has briefly reappeared.
Edited by S100HP on Saturday 29th June 15:35
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