Ungrateful/Argumentative wife
Discussion
judas said:
Me and the missus just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary, so let's put one myth to rest: marriage isn't hard, or it shouldn't be - if it is, you're doing it wrong or, more likely, with someone you should never have married in the first place. There may be hard times, but they come and go regardless of marital status.
This. I've been with my wife for nearly 20 years now. Hand on heart I can say we've never argued or had a fight over anything. We don't always agree, but we just talk it through and work out a compromise. It's never felt hard and crucially I've always felt like I can be myself and be honest 100% of the time around her, and I know she feels similarly. In summary, my life would be immeasurably worse without her in it. With my ex, who I wrote about a few posts ago, I was constantly having to censor myself and deliberately behave differently so that it didn't trigger one of her outbursts. Despite my best efforts I still sometimes "got it completely wrong" and was constantly being accused of being selfish or inconsiderate, or being the quantum butterfly that caused a huge problem. Acting differently all of the time took a massive toll on my mental health.
OP - you need to think about the things in your life that are making you miserable and/or anxious right now, and what/who the causes of that are. I'd be willing to bet that at least 90% of it boils down to one individual.
There's no room in anyone's life for toxic people.
Clearly you need to leave OP and get a divorce, the first year should be all fun and happiness. It’s not going to get better, if you get her pregnant she will dig in further than she already is.
Time to walk away.
I expect to see another thread soon though about how she is now pregnant.
Time to walk away.
I expect to see another thread soon though about how she is now pregnant.
M4cruiser said:
Hello Great Dane
Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
Gloria Gaynor's first draft of "I Will Survive" wasn't very catchy, was it? Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
TheGreatDane said:
I've spoken with my family.
I'm getting the ball rolling.
And, again, please remember that leaving is not something subject to negotiation. You can choose to leave and no-one need agree with it.I'm getting the ball rolling.
Separately, ownership of your house and other assets is not down to where you choose to sleep for the next few weeks or months.
But as a very first step, please speak to a lawyer.
Exasperated said:
M4cruiser said:
Hello Great Dane
Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
Gloria Gaynor's first draft of "I Will Survive" wasn't very catchy, was it? Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
FWIW said:
Exasperated said:
M4cruiser said:
Hello Great Dane
Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
Gloria Gaynor's first draft of "I Will Survive" wasn't very catchy, was it? Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
NRG1976 said:
Some stuff where he didn't find the OPs decision making "optimal".
I have redacted NRG's actual words as he felt them harsh and has retracted his post, but what I had written in reply still stands so I will leave it below...Not everyone can treat matters of marriage and family with snap decisions taken entirely on logic. He will be battling with embarrassment, the thought of disappointing family and friends, worries about his future, worries about finances, worries about whether he's blowing it all out of proportion or whether he's absolutely in the right. Perhaps he's somehow to blame, even if only a little. And he's been gaslit into half believing some of the stuff his wife has been saying about him. There's so much more to it than just making a decision. He has to be in the right frame of mind to arrive at the same decision by himself that all of us here are telling him to make. It just isn't as easy as you make out.
Give the man a chance!!
Edited by LunarOne on Wednesday 12th June 23:29
LunarOne said:
NRG1976 said:
This thread should be on the Jeremy Kyle show. Sorry for being harsh but the OP is a clown and deserves the mess he is in, honestly his decision making beggars belief.
Not everyone can treat matters of marriage and family with snap decisions taken entirely on logic. He will be battling with embarrassment, the thought of disappointing family and friends, worries about his future, worries about finances, worries about whether he's blowing it all out of proportion or whether he's absolutely in the right. Perhaps he's somehow to blame, even if only a little. And he's been gaslit into half believing some of the stuff his wife has been saying about him. There's so much more to it than just making a decision. He has to be in the right frame of mind to arrive at the same decision by himself that all of us here are telling him to make. It just isn't as easy as you make out.Give the man a chance!!
FMOB said:
NRG1976 said:
LunarOne said:
NRG1976 said:
This thread should be on the Jeremy Kyle show. Sorry for being harsh but the OP is a clown and deserves the mess he is in, honestly his decision making beggars belief.
Not everyone can treat matters of marriage and family with snap decisions taken entirely on logic. He will be battling with embarrassment, the thought of disappointing family and friends, worries about his future, worries about finances, worries about whether he's blowing it all out of proportion or whether he's absolutely in the right. Perhaps he's somehow to blame, even if only a little. And he's been gaslit into half believing some of the stuff his wife has been saying about him. There's so much more to it than just making a decision. He has to be in the right frame of mind to arrive at the same decision by himself that all of us here are telling him to make. It just isn't as easy as you make out.Give the man a chance!!
NelsonM3 said:
FWIW said:
Exasperated said:
M4cruiser said:
Hello Great Dane
Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
Gloria Gaynor's first draft of "I Will Survive" wasn't very catchy, was it? Stand up
Pick up your mobile phone (yes do it now)
Pick up your laptop if you have one
Pick up your keys and wallet
Now turn to face the front door, open it,, ... yes now, go on, ... walk outside, close the door.
Carry on walking and go book into a hotel.
Then call your wife and tell her you've left. Don't need to give a reason.
Tomorrow call a solicitor.
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