Tell us something really trivial about your life Volume 40

[DickyC]

Bobberoo said:

Honey roasted peanuts and cashews, lovely.

Is it Christmas already?

[DickyC]

glenrobbo said:

Biker's Nemesis said:

Kia K5.

Panther Kallista

Dear glengobbo,

To fit the bill it would have to be either a Panther Pallista or Kanther Kallista.

/DickyD

[DickyC]

Granddaughter #1 (one) - sixteen (16) this week and party here yesterday - has finished her GCSEs and is already looking forward to going back to do her A levels.

Except.

Her school, a very nice girls' grammar school in Manchester where the sixth year accepts boys, is a bit up to the minute with various fashionable sensibilities. In view of this, because there will be boys and because some girls wear their skirts unbelievably short and because some girls identify as boys...

All sixth year students are to wear trousers.

WTF?*

*That was me. I added that bit.

[DickyC]

Loxley Lozenge

ETA

Edited by DickyC on Sunday 16th June 14:10

[DickyC]

Biker's Nemesis said:

Another day of rain, another weekend of rain. God alive, can this carry on much longer!

Look out for a dove carrying an olive branch.

[DickyC]

Fullook said:

slopes said:

Clagged it down here earlier but been sunny with clouds since about 11 this morning, managed a 4 mile circular walk with the doggos

With apologies to the long-standing residents who might know all this already slopes - please tell me about your dogs.

I would love a dog but Mrs F is so far resisting all attempts at persuasion to get one, so I'm relying on the vicarious consolations of others' experiences...

A brace of Slopeshounds*

*Slopeshound - soon to be recognised as a breed in its own right by the Kennel Club.

[DickyC]

glenrobbo said:

YAY!!! GO TEAM SNOWY!
Magnificent post tally young feller!
Phurty-nine pharzend gazillion and counting! Jolly good effort!.

And 1 (one)

[DickyC]

My brother once woke up in bed with a girl and called her the wrong name. It didn't go down at all well apparently. But calling girls Sheraton irrespective of their actual names doesn't seem like a good solution either.

[DickyC]

psi310398 said:

DickyC said:

My brother once woke up in bed with a girl and called her the wrong name. It didn't go down at all well apparently. But calling girls Sheraton irrespective of their actual names doesn't seem like a good solution either.

Tru dat, but it’s all relative. I’d still fancy my chances more with Sheraton or Hilton than Travelodge or Comfort Inn.

There's Posh for you.

[DickyC]

psi310398 said:

DickyC said:

There's Posh for you.

No, I think she goes by Victoria.

Victoria? I once stopped to ask directions behind King's Cross and wished I hadn't. The inexplicably diverse assortment of humanity all standing singly by the edge of the road didn't strike me as odd immediately. None had heard of the road I was seeking and all seemed keen to end our conversation swiftly. It was odd because the road was just round the corner. Thank goodness for sat nav, I say.

[DickyC]

slopes said:

Just had a salad for dinner, after yesterday's Roast Beef & Horseradish baggy ette which also had salad, i am being good.

Right, haven't i got some biscuits round here somewhere?

Cardiologists go into all sorts of lengthy details about what you should and shouldn't eat when, in fact, all they need say is, "Don't eat anything nice."

[DickyC]

slopes said:

There is a Vietnamese Cafe in Sheffield that does some amazing food, if you are ever in Sheffield find London Road and look for Saigon 68

Is there a Yorkshire Cafe in Da Nang?

More importantly, why would you keep a friend of Sacha Distel in your apartment?

You live in a fancy apartment
Off the Boulevard St. Michel
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records
And a friend of Sacha Distel, yes, you do

And no mistake.

[DickyC]

We'd have to take him out for walks and stuff. Can't keep him cooped to all day like what happened when we kept a friend of Constable Dunstable in the Guest Room at the Towers.

[DickyC]

Ambleton said:

I had an emergency operation yesterday.

Post op pain is pretty awful right now but I'm well informed that'll subside over the next 24hrs as they inflated my stomach with gas like a balloon to move it out the way. They deflate it after, but the excruciating pain I've got now is trapped gas bubbles manifesting as terrible shoulder, back and chest pain.

I suspect my day will be filled with many slow steps down/around the garden and hopefully quite a lot of burping!

To fulfil your contractual obligations, you're supposed to give us something trivial to work with. That all sounds a bit serious, not to mention uncomfortable. Oh, I see, the burping business. I get it now. Serious with a trivial counterpoint. Understood. Taking the burping in isolation gives 8.901 on the Triv-O-Meter which goes some way to salvaging the situation. Marvellous. Please keep us up to date with developments.

[DickyC]

TT VIGNETTE FOR THE DAY

Granddaughter #2 did not get along at all with mathematics. As she went through primary school it was becoming a thing with her. Her mum enrolled her with a tutor for some private coaching. The tutor is a maths teacher so in love with her subject she offers evening and weekend lessons, more to share her passion than as a source of income. GD2 has stayed with her and now, in her second year at secondary school, enjoys maths and is good. Very good. Yesterday her mum sent us a message to say she had come second in her year-end maths exam. Marvellous. But there was more. The teacher gave her the wrong papers. The front sheets were the same but her questions were GCSE questions, that is two years ahead of her school lessons. She sailed through, did well and, as I say, came second in the class. But with different, harder, questions than her classmates. All this was extraordinarily bad news for the lad who sits next to her. Any questions he couldn't do, he copied her answers. Most of them, as it turns out.

Comedy Gold.

"Did you copy Amelia's answers?"
"No, miss."
"How is it they are the same?"
"Either we're the same standard in maths, or she copied my answers, miss."
"Yes. About that..."

[DickyC]

slopes said:

DickyC said:

Is there a Yorkshire Cafe in Da Nang?

Weirdly, yes there is.
It's called By 'Eck and does a passable Yorkshire pudding - if you like your Yorkshires to taste like soggy cardboard that is - and you can even choose which flavour of street animal you want to go with it. Sadly their roast potatoes are not up to scratch and would best served being shipped to the middle east for stoning purposes.

Their tea is okay but not a proper cuppa and try as they might, the just could not master the art of adding
And no mistake
to any of the sentences. Nice people though, they were trying really hard to add an authentic twist to their establishment, they had local people getting drunk and threatening each other, they had their version of the Parkway Crawl going on and it was grey and miserable, just like Sheffield actually. They even named the local airport in Hoi An the Hoi An Da Nang Robin Hood Airport in an attempt to make any tourists feel right at home

And we cannot mention Da Nang without spending a few minutes here:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BIikfdNIHQE&si=dbY...

[DickyC]

Fullook said:

Forgive the question but I'm not yet familiar with the full roll call of heroes and villains hereabouts, and putting names to faces has been flagged as a development area for me ever since that unfortunate incident with the post-it notes and staple gun.

Anyway - can anybody clarify, is Constable Dunstable the fellow with the face like a forgotten boiled sweet and the unsightly bulge at his hemline with the wall-eye and beautiful smile? Only I saw someone matching that description from my bedroom window this morning and can only say that I was very pleased I was looking out rather than in.

It often helps with the characters if you begin your search in a less obvious manner. With Constable Dunstable, for example, start with Constable Haywain. He's a picture.

[DickyC]

Bobberoo said:

Ambleton, get well soon.

Fullook, Constables Dunstable and Haywain are the local Bobbie's and are to be treated with complete and utter distrust, their equally useless leader Chief Inspector Detecter is also a trouble maker, and the cause of many a lock in being cut short!!!
Our "business associates", the lovely Albanians who prefer late night, unlit use of the landing strip as opposed to the actual runway, have attempted to "pay off" the local constabulary many times, unfortunately it sometimes isn't enough.

Hmm. The whole truth, if you don't mind.

You missed Sergeant Argent.

Unless you have some 'Special Relationship' with the good Sergeant? A relaxation of certain rules in return for a contribution to the Police House Roof Fund, perhaps?

[DickyC]

Fullook said:

Red lentil and spinach deal, with naan bread & yoghurt.

Disappointing.

Adjustments too numerous to mention will need to be made next time this is attempted.

Frank's hot sauce covers a multitude of mundanity.

[DickyC]