Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
Saddad said:
This is a new user name, but I have contributed to the match.com threads over the last couple of years.
Anyway. I had much fun dating probably 40-45 women over an 18 month period. A couple of those turned into short term relationships.
In June, I upped the age limit of my search and matched with someone on match. She had joined that day.
We exchanged so many messages over the next couple of weeks it was insane, but for various reasons weren’t able to meet.
When we did it really was love at first sight. We have been pretty much inseparable since and now live together.
We are getting married in 2020 - both lreviously divorces.
Don’t give up gents. There are some good ones out there . I have never been happier (the fact that she is a tiny ex gymnast is largely irrelevant, but a nice bonus :-) )
Known each other 5 months and getting married? Wowzers.Anyway. I had much fun dating probably 40-45 women over an 18 month period. A couple of those turned into short term relationships.
In June, I upped the age limit of my search and matched with someone on match. She had joined that day.
We exchanged so many messages over the next couple of weeks it was insane, but for various reasons weren’t able to meet.
When we did it really was love at first sight. We have been pretty much inseparable since and now live together.
We are getting married in 2020 - both lreviously divorces.
Don’t give up gents. There are some good ones out there . I have never been happier (the fact that she is a tiny ex gymnast is largely irrelevant, but a nice bonus :-) )
mjb1 said:
I'm not picky on tinder either (probably swipe right 9 out of 10 times)
That's absolutely the wrong thing to do. I don't fully understand the way it works, but its something like this...You like everyone, because you're desperate, and desperate for someone to like you back.
Tinder knows you're a desperate mug because of the above.
See the stunners that are being liked by EVERYONE, because they're stunners? You're not even being shown them. You're getting shown the f
king dross.Because you're acting like dross by liking everyone in sight.
BTW the way to prove this is to delete your account and start from scratch. For a short period you'll be shown the stunners, until the algorithm realises it's you again, and that you'll like anyone, so it'll show you the ones who usually get f
k all.TL;DR: don't swipe right on everyone, it doesn't work the way you think it does.
technodup said:
mjb1 said:
I'm not picky on tinder either (probably swipe right 9 out of 10 times)
That's absolutely the wrong thing to do. I don't fully understand the way it works, but its something like this...You like everyone, because you're desperate, and desperate for someone to like you back.
Tinder knows you're a desperate mug because of the above.
See the stunners that are being liked by EVERYONE, because they're stunners? You're not even being shown them. You're getting shown the f
king dross.Because you're acting like dross by liking everyone in sight.
BTW the way to prove this is to delete your account and start from scratch. For a short period you'll be shown the stunners, until the algorithm realises it's you again, and that you'll like anyone, so it'll show you the ones who usually get f
k all.TL;DR: don't swipe right on everyone, it doesn't work the way you think it does.
I know Tinder has it's algorithms. But if I followed your suggestion, and only swiped right on the rare 9's or 10's, how is that going to help me? If even the 'dross' isn't swiping right on me, how is there any way in the world that just the super hot ones will?? I think Tinder's algorithms filter it's suggestions more based upon who and how many people swipe right on you, rather than how many you've swiped on yourself. And on that basis I'd be straight back to being shown the 'dross' again.
mjb1 said:
I think Tinder's algorithms filter it's suggestions more based upon who and how many people swipe right on you, rather than how many you've swiped on yourself. And on that basis I'd be straight back to being shown the 'dross' again.
Who you swipe on (or more accurately the ratio) is definitely part of it. I'm not saying only swipe the page 3 models, but be a bit more picky. 9/10 is way too desperate, and Tinder knows it.You can't change you very much. So you're left with your profile and your 'approach' (i.e. the above, I don't mean your first message- that's another thing altogether). If we assume your profile is OK (although we shouldn't, because it won't be) then it's down to doing something different in how you play the game.
Because if you're saying yes to 9/10 and it's still not working...
technodup said:
ho you swipe on (or more accurately the ratio) is definitely part of it. I'm not saying only swipe the page 3 models, but be a bit more picky. 9/10 is way too desperate, and Tinder knows it.
You can't change you very much. So you're left with your profile and your 'approach' (i.e. the above, I don't mean your first message- that's another thing altogether). If we assume your profile is OK (although we shouldn't, because it won't be) then it's down to doing something different in how you play the game.
Because if you're saying yes to 9/10 and it's still not working...
Well maybe 9/10 is a slight exaggeration - but it's probably not far off, after I've already excluded the profiles with no face photo and the obvious tourists who are just passing through. No, I doubt my profile is much good, I've probably said too much on it, compared to the typical tinder profile text of a bunch of emoji's and a witty one liner. In fact, I think I actually got more people swipe right on me when I left it completely blank! But then some of the women that I did match and chatted to said they only swiped right on people who'd bothered to write something meaningful, one said she'd have preferred it if I'd mentioned that I've got kids already, so I did add that in there, which probably puts off 95% of women anyway. And it also leaves me thinking that these older women who are swiping right on me are only interested in a one nighter, as I can't imagine a woman in her 50's wanting a relationship with a bloke with 3 young kids?? You can't change you very much. So you're left with your profile and your 'approach' (i.e. the above, I don't mean your first message- that's another thing altogether). If we assume your profile is OK (although we shouldn't, because it won't be) then it's down to doing something different in how you play the game.
Because if you're saying yes to 9/10 and it's still not working...
mjb1 said:
technodup said:
ho you swipe on (or more accurately the ratio) is definitely part of it. I'm not saying only swipe the page 3 models, but be a bit more picky. 9/10 is way too desperate, and Tinder knows it.
You can't change you very much. So you're left with your profile and your 'approach' (i.e. the above, I don't mean your first message- that's another thing altogether). If we assume your profile is OK (although we shouldn't, because it won't be) then it's down to doing something different in how you play the game.
Because if you're saying yes to 9/10 and it's still not working...
Well maybe 9/10 is a slight exaggeration - but it's probably not far off, after I've already excluded the profiles with no face photo and the obvious tourists who are just passing through. No, I doubt my profile is much good, I've probably said too much on it, compared to the typical tinder profile text of a bunch of emoji's and a witty one liner. In fact, I think I actually got more people swipe right on me when I left it completely blank! But then some of the women that I did match and chatted to said they only swiped right on people who'd bothered to write something meaningful, one said she'd have preferred it if I'd mentioned that I've got kids already, so I did add that in there, which probably puts off 95% of women anyway. And it also leaves me thinking that these older women who are swiping right on me are only interested in a one nighter, as I can't imagine a woman in her 50's wanting a relationship with a bloke with 3 young kids?? You can't change you very much. So you're left with your profile and your 'approach' (i.e. the above, I don't mean your first message- that's another thing altogether). If we assume your profile is OK (although we shouldn't, because it won't be) then it's down to doing something different in how you play the game.
Because if you're saying yes to 9/10 and it's still not working...
I await the flaming but I think a reality check is needed : you're in your 40s with 3 kids in tow and reek of desperation which women folk can smell from a mile away. You've openly admitted earlier on the thread you're some low number out of 10 for physical attractiveness. That makes you about as appealing as having root canal surgery.
Solution : lose the reek of desperation you're dragging around with you, then:
1. get ripped.
2. become a millionaire.
3. get good at bantz.
or a combination of all 3.
mjb1 said:
Well maybe 9/10 is a slight exaggeration - but it's probably not far off, after I've already excluded the profiles with no face photo and the obvious tourists who are just passing through. No, I doubt my profile is much good, I've probably said too much on it, compared to the typical tinder profile text of a bunch of emoji's and a witty one liner. In fact, I think I actually got more people swipe right on me when I left it completely blank! But then some of the women that I did match and chatted to said they only swiped right on people who'd bothered to write something meaningful, one said she'd have preferred it if I'd mentioned that I've got kids already, so I did add that in there, which probably puts off 95% of women anyway. And it also leaves me thinking that these older women who are swiping right on me are only interested in a one nighter, as I can't imagine a woman in her 50's wanting a relationship with a bloke with 3 young kids??
You're probably right about the women in their 50's but a couple of one night stands might do your confidence the world of good right now. Might not be what you're ultimately looking for but while you have a busy life looking after 3 young kids, a few fun nights out might be a welcome 'release'. I did the opposite to you, on Tinder I'd say I swiped right on about 1 in 30. On Bumble the number would be slightly less, on POF it was a hell of a lot higher and I stopped using it. Why swipe right on women you're not attracted to, or go on dates with them if they match. Waste of time and money, and if they don't match an even bigger dent to your confidence.
Personally in your situation I'd be grabbing some quick no strings attached sex, then deleting your profile that's not working for you. Online dating can easily become something to obsess about. Take a break to forget about it for 2 or 3 months them come back with a new one and new photos.
If you want advice on your profile then I'm sure there's some (not all) on here who'd be happy to critique and offer advice via PM (me included) without being too brutal.
Lemming Train said:
Just get yourself down to your local red light area. Change from a tenner for a shag if you catch them on a night when they're short of cash for their next crack fix. That's far cheaper and less effort than trying to schmooze your way into their pants over a meal, and that's assuming you can get them out of a date in the first place, which you can't. How much for a date? Best part of £100 for somewhere decent, depending whereabouts you are, and more if you need new togs for the occasion.
I await the flaming but I think a reality check is needed : you're in your 40s with 3 kids in tow and reek of desperation which women folk can smell from a mile away. You've openly admitted earlier on the thread you're some low number out of 10 for physical attractiveness. That makes you about as appealing as having root canal surgery.
Solution : lose the reek of desperation you're dragging around with you, then:
1. get ripped.
2. become a millionaire.
3. get good at bantz.
or a combination of all 3.
This is brilliant - mainly due to its accuracy. Ironically my date on Thursday was £100 on the nose - then went for cocktails. I await the flaming but I think a reality check is needed : you're in your 40s with 3 kids in tow and reek of desperation which women folk can smell from a mile away. You've openly admitted earlier on the thread you're some low number out of 10 for physical attractiveness. That makes you about as appealing as having root canal surgery.
Solution : lose the reek of desperation you're dragging around with you, then:
1. get ripped.
2. become a millionaire.
3. get good at bantz.
or a combination of all 3.
£9 for a f
Why the hotel, does she not live near? Does paying for 2-3 dates a week mean you don't have your own place?
Wouldn't have been cheaper to cook her a meal and stay over. As you said it was a girl from the past so guessing just quick fun rather than potential life partner to sweep off her feet.
Or more simply, she was gagging for it and approached you, why spend the cash on someone you don't see.
Wouldn't have been cheaper to cook her a meal and stay over. As you said it was a girl from the past so guessing just quick fun rather than potential life partner to sweep off her feet.
Or more simply, she was gagging for it and approached you, why spend the cash on someone you don't see.
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