Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[FRMATT]

v8250 said:

ApOrbital said:

65 minutes?

I'll correct that for you, "90 minutes?"

[Scousefella]

kowalski655 said:

I'm amazed she manages to find her arse with both hands!

[J4CKO]

Brian Fantana said:

My enthusiastic attendance at a gig a couple of weeks ago left me with a very deep voice the next day.

According to my fiancee I sounded "like Barry Manilow"...

I assume you think she was thinking of Barry White, the husky voiced Walrus of Love, she may have just been saying you sound like a bit of an old Queen in denial ?

[marshalla]

v8250 said:

ApOrbital said:

65 minutes?

I'll correct that for you, "90 minutes?"

or 110 ? (playing devil's advocate - I had to think about it for a while to find that alternative, but I can almost see how someone might come up with it - downhill, with a following wind, and their eyes shut).

[james_tigerwoods]

"What's the Holocaust"

Me: Seriously?

She couldn't understand my utter confusion

[hidetheelephants]

Brian Fantana said:

My enthusiastic attendance at a gig a couple of weeks ago left me with a very deep voice the next day.

According to my fiancee I sounded "like Barry Manilow"...

Perhaps; do you normally sound like Joe Pasquale on helium?

[Hooli]

hidetheelephants said:

Perhaps; do you normally sound like Joe Pasquale on helium?

Surely only dogs could hear that?


Hang on, are you calling his wife....

[Spiffing]

Colleague is insisting all the livestock on the New Forest are rounded up every evening.
I asked where they are put, she stumbled and said she would "get back to me on that".

[simoid]

james_tigerwoods said:

"What's the Holocaust"

Me: Seriously?

She couldn't understand my utter confusion

Was it written down somewhere? Sometimes people have seen words but not heard them. Or heard, but not seen in another language, etc.

[james_tigerwoods]

simoid said:

james_tigerwoods said:

"What's the Holocaust"

Me: Seriously?

She couldn't understand my utter confusion

Was it written down somewhere? Sometimes people have seen words but not heard them. Or heard, but not seen in another language, etc.

It was on the calendar as "holocaust memorial day" or something

[Steamer]

james_tigerwoods said:

"What's the Holocaust"

Me: Seriously?

She couldn't understand my utter confusion

not a comparison - but it did remind me:

Sat in a pub talking about finance and house buying with a friend. His mrs chipped in 'whats a recession?'....

She didn't apear in the pub much after that.

[handpaper]

Apparently the wife is going with friends to see "50 Grades of Shale" later.
I didn't know she shared my interest in Geology

[Scousefella]

handpaper said:

Apparently the wife is going with friends to see "50 Grades of Shale" later.

Sounds like a fracking nightmare.

[Tyre Tread]

Scousefella said:

handpaper said:

Apparently the wife is going with friends to see "50 Grades of Shale" later.

Sounds like a fracking nightmare.

Genuine LOL at both!

[simoid]

Lamp in the corner of the room behind Mrs S starts flickering. She looks across to me at the opposite corner of the room, and exclaims: "will you bloody well stop that!?"

[DeuxCentCinq]

Spiffing said:

Colleague is insisting all the livestock on the New Forest are rounded up every evening.
I asked where they are put, she stumbled and said she would "get back to me on that".

Having nearly hit a horse while out on my mountain bike the other night (my cheap Chinese light ran out of juice half a mile from the end), I can confirm that they just stand around and sleep, often obscuring paths.

[uncle tez]

james_tigerwoods said:

"What's the Holocaust"

Me: Seriously?

She couldn't understand my utter confusion

My wifes cousin is married to a woman who is extremely underweight. So much so that my private nickname for her was Mrs auschwitz. My wife was talking to her sister about her and the nickname cropped up. She didn't understand it so went and asked the woman why we called her that. Luckily she didn't understand it either. Seems common that a lot of people have never heard of it.

I also know that the nickname may be in poor humor

[SunsetZed]

uncle tez said:

My wifes cousin is married to a woman who is extremely underweight. So much so that my private nickname for her was Mrs auschwitz.

[vx220]

Key "swab"...

FOB! IT'S FOB!!!

[vx220]

Key "swab"...

FOB! IT'S FOB!!!