Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Adam.]

KiloRomeo said:

Absolutely this
Says the man who used to be a prolific contributor to this thread, but now has no cause to.

Very sad to hear that

[shtu]

havoc said:

I feel like our wives must all be related. Mrs H does this all the time - you ask a closed question and get a vaguely-related sentence back.

They're all related somehow. Literally minutes ago.

"Are you going to the gym tomorrow?"
"It's the pilates class on Mondays."

I know.

I asked if you were going. To the gym. Tomorrow.

[PositronicRay]

shtu said:

They're all related somehow. Literally minutes ago.

"Are you going to the gym tomorrow?"
"It's the pilates class on Mondays."

I know.

I asked if you were going. To the gym. Tomorrow.

Pilates class on a bank holiday?

[ambuletz]

I have similar annoyances with my mum whenever I'm helping her cook

Me: how long do you want to boil it for
her: not too long

Me: how to you want this cut
Her: not too big, a little small, but not too small.

[romft123]

"what are you doing/planning tomorrow". When that is said, she has a plan that she wants to do something and she wants my help, but of course she doesnt say any of that....So my reply nowadays is anything from, washing the car, sitting infront on the TV watching...whatever....to cleaning...whatever. I then leave it at that....then after a minute its...."well coz I am ...........then out comes what she would like me to help her with or .....whatever BUT of course NEVER asks that at the start!

JUST FECKIN ASK ME.

[S2r]

"you don't need to bend your toes when you walk, I just put one foot in front of the other"

(I have a problem with my foot at the moment, it hurts to bend my toes so I am struggling to walk, this was her response)

[mikey_b]

QBee said:

..... And they don’t understand saving power.

This was their part of the house one January evening…..



It wouldn’t be so bad, but they were all in the downstairs right hand room watching TV

Edited by QBee on Saturday 18th May 20:16

I know it's symptomatic of a wider issue, but since lighting went mostly LED, it's just not worth arguing about any more. Desk lights are usually about 2W and ceiling lights maybe 5 to 7W. The whole house could be lit and use no more power in total than one or two rooms would consume back in the day.

[CanAm]

KiloRomeo said:

Absolutely this
Says the man who used to be a prolific contributor to this thread, but now has no cause to.

Me too. There must be plenty of old material, if only I could remember it......

[Blown2CV]

talking to the mrs last night...

for context i am 46 and my daughter is 7.

Wife would not have it that daughter would be 10 before i am 50. She kept going back to the fact that my daughter was present at my 40th as 'proof'.

Yes... she was.

[Gordon Hill]

Back in the days when we used terry towel nappies instead of disposable (soft pr#cks) my mother asked the ex wife if she wanted her to buy her another dozen, no it's ok she replied, 12 should be enough.

Classic from the wife in the days before she could drive and when nobody had sat nav. We go to Dorset a lot on holiday, quite a drive from South Yorkshire. She asked me how I knew how to get there. When you set off she said how do you know what road to take, when I looked at her puzzled she went on that there are no signs to the Isle of Portland from Yorkshire, factually correct but I just couldn't be bothered so I just answered no you're right, there isn't.

Edited by Gordon Hill on Monday 27th May 10:25

[Skyedriver]

romft123 said:

"what are you doing/planning tomorrow". When that is said, she has a plan that she wants to do something and she wants my help, but of course she doesnt say any of that....So my reply nowadays is anything from, washing the car, sitting infront on the TV watching...whatever....to cleaning...whatever. I then leave it at that....then after a minute its...."well coz I am ...........then out comes what she would like me to help her with or .....whatever BUT of course NEVER asks that at the start!

JUST FECKIN ASK ME.

I get that Q but when i ask why, she says just asking....I get the feeling she wants to say "the XXX needs cleaning/the YYY needs painting/ we could take the dogs too ZZZ for a walk"
It just un nerves me, feel like if I say "I'm going for a run/working on the car/project etc" I'll get an "oh grumph!"

[QBee]

mikey_b said:

QBee said:

..... And they don’t understand saving power.

This was their part of the house one January evening…..



It wouldn’t be so bad, but they were all in the downstairs right hand room watching TV

Edited by QBee on Saturday 18th May 20:16

I know it's symptomatic of a wider issue, but since lighting went mostly LED, it's just not worth arguing about any more. Desk lights are usually about 2W and ceiling lights maybe 5 to 7W. The whole house could be lit and use no more power in total than one or two rooms would consume back in the day.

Agreed, but it's what it says about their attitude (and laziness).
And it was teaching the kids (both under 11 at the time) bad habits.

Their other favourite trick was leaving the outside door wide open for hours at a time - in winter.
Reasons were two fold:
1. Going out to do something outside, and if they shut the door then they would have to open it again to get back in, or
2. All sitting in the lounge watching TV in pyjamas and it had got a bit warm in there. Never occurred to them that the thermostat default setting of 26 degrees might have something to do with it.

They moved out two years ago and now have their own bills - jumpers and sensible thermostat settings are suddenly the way to go.
And I am solvent again.

[CivicDuties]

Her: "Did you see that thing that happened at the Cannes Fist Festival the other day?"

Me: 3 days spontaneously bursting out laughing every time I remember that one.

[CanAm]

Mrs CanAm is sadly no longer with us. But our daughter is carrying the baton on her behalf:-
"You know, daddy, for a man of your age, you look quite slim......... from behind !

Edited by CanAm on Tuesday 28th May 12:28

[QBee]

CanAm said:

Mrs CanAm is sadly no.longer with us. But our daughter is carrying the baton on her behalf:-
"You know, daddy, for a man of your age, you look quite slim......... from behind !

Your daughter is definitely a woman - always the sting in the tail, after the measured pause.
I get my own back by embarrassing mine and her mother with groan jokes and dad dancing.

[Pit Pony]

PositronicRay said:

shtu said:

They're all related somehow. Literally minutes ago.

"Are you going to the gym tomorrow?"
"It's the pilates class on Mondays."

I know.

I asked if you were going. To the gym. Tomorrow.

Pilates class on a bank holiday?

I wanted to go swimming at my local council run pool yesterday, but the only time that fitted my busy schedule, they'd closed it for aqua aerobics.
Went to their gym instead. Because its closed for 2 days this week, to replace all the electronic machines. £150k investment apparently. Three of the cycling machines were out of order, along with 2 running machines and a cross fit thing, so it's about time.

[5 In a Row]

Pit Pony said:

5 In a Row said:

Mrs 5 has some form of angine, despite being an otherwise ffit and healthy 49 year old.
She occasionally gets a bit of 'chest squeezing' from it but it goes away after a while.

However on Saturday evening it lasted longer and became more painful than usual so she phoned NHS 24 who organised a visit from the paramedics (which thankfully didn't result in a free trip to A&E).

On the conclusion of the call to NHS 24 her greatest concern wasn't the ongoing pain in her chest but, obviously, that the house was untidy (it wasn't) and what would the paramedics think!

She's special

It would be better if she got taken to a&e and did a bit more investigation. Maybe?

Says the man who ignored the occassional test pains, until he had a heart attack and then had a free trip in an ?? And a stent.

That was the advice the paramedics gave her - if it happens again call 999.

She's at the docs today for an ECG as a follow up to the appointment she had last week where she was given a GTN (?) spray.
She used that at the weekend and had to sit down!

At this rate the house will never get cleaned

[5 In a Row]

CanAm said:

KiloRomeo said:

Absolutely this
Says the man who used to be a prolific contributor to this thread, but now has no cause to.

Me too. There must be plenty of old material, if only I could remember it......

Sorry to hear this for both of you

[havoc]

My condolences here too.

...and in the spirit of the thread, please can I add:-

If it's too soon / too raw for either of you, please say and I'll remove it...purely tongue-in-cheek post

[KiloRomeo]

havoc said:

My condolences here too.

...and in the spirit of the thread, please can I add:-

If it's too soon / too raw for either of you, please say and I'll remove it...purely tongue-in-cheek post

No sympathy sought or required, reading back through the old posts caused a few smiles and fond memories.