Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
ThingsBehindTheSun said:
When I was online dating at 40 I was dating women between 35 and 45. Lots of them were inundated by messages from men in their 20s.
The reason for this is they are low hanging fruit to these young men. It's pretty much guaranteed no string sex, dating women their own age is much more difficult.
I totally get why they do it, women in this age range are still attractive and there is the older experienced woman fantasy thing going on. Plus the women like the attention and ego boost, although it does wear off for some once they realise they are pump and dump fodder.
But younger men going for women in their 50s and 60s? Yuck. I really struggle to believe that even someone in their 30s or 40s is going to want to date someone in their 50s unless they are top 5%.
The women I dated or talked to were definitely not top 5% The reason for this is they are low hanging fruit to these young men. It's pretty much guaranteed no string sex, dating women their own age is much more difficult.
I totally get why they do it, women in this age range are still attractive and there is the older experienced woman fantasy thing going on. Plus the women like the attention and ego boost, although it does wear off for some once they realise they are pump and dump fodder.
But younger men going for women in their 50s and 60s? Yuck. I really struggle to believe that even someone in their 30s or 40s is going to want to date someone in their 50s unless they are top 5%.
Well I definitely ain't like most of you on this thread lol which in fairness suits me I love never been a conformist. If your are so bothered about how someone looks , I find that pretty superficial and shallow and definitely not me.
Might help if there was a failed relationships count next to the username, so I know whose opinion to validate lol
Might help if there was a failed relationships count next to the username, so I know whose opinion to validate lol
Edited by mickythefish on Monday 17th June 11:58
ThingsBehindTheSun said:
I'm 50, there are hardly any women my age that I actually find attractive.
My partner is 42, I really don't think I would want to date much older than that. I could be persuaded if it was Liz Hurley, Kate Beckinsdale or Carol Vorderman though.....
But seriously I would say 99% of non celeb over 50s don't do it for me, they are largely anonymous when I am out and about.
I really cannot imagine being single in my 50s and 60s and looking to date someone new. Honestly I think I would rather be single than date women in that age range.
Everyone is different and that is what works for you. I am the opposite and as a fifty something I have no interest in a woman in her 40s, 30s.My partner is 42, I really don't think I would want to date much older than that. I could be persuaded if it was Liz Hurley, Kate Beckinsdale or Carol Vorderman though.....
But seriously I would say 99% of non celeb over 50s don't do it for me, they are largely anonymous when I am out and about.
I really cannot imagine being single in my 50s and 60s and looking to date someone new. Honestly I think I would rather be single than date women in that age range.
A lot of 50s women are content in their relationships or content on their own. Dressing to attract a new partner is not their focus in life. Different motivations can apply in 30s and 40s.
There are some gorgeous women in their 50s, same as any other era. A 50 something looking for a partner knows how to look good. Dating in your 50s and 60s can be a lot of fun.
I am late 50's now.
I dated a hot hot one many yr back, she was just 25, 23 yrs younger than me at the time. She was an absolute humdinger, thick brunette hair, super dark eye's, proper eye candy she was but very valid reasons suffocated the relationship. I was gutted tbh and yes, you do get spoilt if you get lucky with these.
Then I dated one 16 yrs younger, this one was a proper nut job but she did dish up in the sack. That ended as she admitted she wanted to multi date, which is fine. Told me I was her longest date/ bf, how long you guys are thinking, 3 1/2 months we was together. biggrin. You can bet your life she will be on the apps, still.
Now, I am with a lady 6 yrs younger and I am very happy, I understand why the above has been said but I also feel that many guys do not give it a shot.
Yes, she is one of the hotter ones and the bonus, her head is in good order.
Good luck to all
I dated a hot hot one many yr back, she was just 25, 23 yrs younger than me at the time. She was an absolute humdinger, thick brunette hair, super dark eye's, proper eye candy she was but very valid reasons suffocated the relationship. I was gutted tbh and yes, you do get spoilt if you get lucky with these.
Then I dated one 16 yrs younger, this one was a proper nut job but she did dish up in the sack. That ended as she admitted she wanted to multi date, which is fine. Told me I was her longest date/ bf, how long you guys are thinking, 3 1/2 months we was together. biggrin. You can bet your life she will be on the apps, still.
Now, I am with a lady 6 yrs younger and I am very happy, I understand why the above has been said but I also feel that many guys do not give it a shot.
Yes, she is one of the hotter ones and the bonus, her head is in good order.
Good luck to all
mickythefish said:
Lol I would rather someone I like chatting with than looks as just enjoy that more. Anyway just wondered. Yeh I haven't even met her, probably won't she live like 150 miles away and petrol ain't cheap.
Definitely won't be doing any apps ever again.
150 miles; what is the point? You've not even met her but are chatting like it's a done deal and then reveal that nugget and complain about the price of petrolDefinitely won't be doing any apps ever again.
this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
westberks said:
150 miles; what is the point? You've not even met her but are chatting like it's a done deal and then reveal that nugget and complain about the price of petrol
this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
Anything more than an hour drive is a complete waste of time in my experience. The only times I have done this is when it has been virtually guaranteed sex. These have then turned into a semi casual thing where I have gone over for the weekend when they don't have their children. It doesn't last long as the travel gets very boring quickly, especially with post nut clarity and when real life starts to creep in (ex baby daddies, children, hints about problems with the house/car etc.) . this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
As for looks, surely online dating is driven by this. If you are a 8 or above looks wise, what you write on your profile is largely irrelevant.
I have seen numerous studies on online dating and the conclusion is the top 20% of men looks wise are getting the vast majority of the attention. Anyone less than a six out of ten is not going to get a sniff.
But it you are honestly not bothered about looks and you look OK then you must be able to easily fill your boots.
The few times I have gone on dates with women who were not on a par with me looks wise due to untruthful pictures I have not been able to get rid of them. This has got nothing to do with my amazing personality, I put zero effort into the dates other than thinking "how do I get out of this". One I ended up just basically saying goodbye to and leaving, she ended up messaging me asking what happened and inviting me over for sex. Other ones I have completely ignored their messages and they end up calling me essentially saying the same.
If I treated a girl who was on a par or slightly above me looks wise the same way she would never have contacted me again.
Harsh I know, but very few people (especially women) are going to date someone who they consider lower than them looks wise.
westberks said:
150 miles; what is the point? You've not even met her but are chatting like it's a done deal and then reveal that nugget and complain about the price of petrol
this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
Not really I said I had no luck on apps etc but have been chatting with a women. I've said to her I just want to be friends, same as her.this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
What's the problem lol this thread is funny. I'm no playa, I don't want a women to show my mates how well I'm doing by how young she is. I'm happy with someone to share interests like travelling, hiking etc age makes no one jot to me. I like the person .
You don't always have to do what ever I've else does you know?
mickythefish said:
westberks said:
150 miles; what is the point? You've not even met her but are chatting like it's a done deal and then reveal that nugget and complain about the price of petrol
this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
Not really I said I had no luck on apps etc but have been chatting with a women. I've said to her I just want to be friends, same as her.this seems to be random posts just to make people twitch.
as for the comments about being looks driven and shallow; that's pretty much where it all starts, all of the time.
What's the problem lol this thread is funny. I'm no playa, I don't want a women to show my mates how well I'm doing by how young she is. I'm happy with someone to share interests like travelling, hiking etc age makes no one jot to me. I like the person .
You don't always have to do what ever I've else does you know?
i get the not being motivated by looks, but the random bouncing from tiktok to facebook groups and women 150 miles away will achieve exactly what it has done so far; nothing.
I genuinely suspect you are just making stuff up to post for the s
ts and giggles as it all seems too farcical to be true, and the results are exactly as anyone with OLD experience would expect.
Yeah, it’s really important imo to value your partner as a person.
Values, character, how you enjoy time together, communication styles, aligned on future goals etc.
But personally I just couldn’t / wouldn’t be in a relationship with a woman that I didn’t also find highly physically attractive. Nothing to do with showing off to others, everything to do with basic carnal desire. If that’s not there from the start, it’s just a non starter for me. Appreciate we’re all different, but I see it as a vital piece of the jigsaw puzzle when choosing a relationship partner.
I remember when OLD years back going on regular dates, I’d inevitably meet a ‘maybe’ for a local drink on an empty Tuesday night who was then worse than their pictures. Ok not my cuppa tea, but no probs, no need to be a dick about it because this is a real person with real feelings and they’ve made the effort to meet up. But if they vibed the date wrong and tried to get a bit amorous at the end of the drinks… I now fully understand what women refer to as the ‘ick’.
Sounds harsh to a degree but also agree with going younger. My partner isn’t a generation age gap difference, but she is 6 years younger.
Just looking at women 6 years older is a struggle because 99% are literally invisible to my eyes except the odd 1% exception. And that’s just poor odds.
I’d choose a happy non compromised single life ahead of settling for an average middle aged woman just to be in a relationship I’m afraid. Relationships by their very nature involve compromise, and the juice just wouldn’t be worth the squeeze so theirs no point in it.
Values, character, how you enjoy time together, communication styles, aligned on future goals etc.
But personally I just couldn’t / wouldn’t be in a relationship with a woman that I didn’t also find highly physically attractive. Nothing to do with showing off to others, everything to do with basic carnal desire. If that’s not there from the start, it’s just a non starter for me. Appreciate we’re all different, but I see it as a vital piece of the jigsaw puzzle when choosing a relationship partner.
I remember when OLD years back going on regular dates, I’d inevitably meet a ‘maybe’ for a local drink on an empty Tuesday night who was then worse than their pictures. Ok not my cuppa tea, but no probs, no need to be a dick about it because this is a real person with real feelings and they’ve made the effort to meet up. But if they vibed the date wrong and tried to get a bit amorous at the end of the drinks… I now fully understand what women refer to as the ‘ick’.
Sounds harsh to a degree but also agree with going younger. My partner isn’t a generation age gap difference, but she is 6 years younger.
Just looking at women 6 years older is a struggle because 99% are literally invisible to my eyes except the odd 1% exception. And that’s just poor odds.
I’d choose a happy non compromised single life ahead of settling for an average middle aged woman just to be in a relationship I’m afraid. Relationships by their very nature involve compromise, and the juice just wouldn’t be worth the squeeze so theirs no point in it.
Edited by Capitan Obvio on Tuesday 18th June 12:40
westberks said:
I genuinely suspect you are just making stuff up to post for the sts and giggles as it all seems too farcical to be true, and the results are exactly as anyone with OLD experience would expect.
starting to think the same, bouncing around different methods without any patience seems oddts and giggles as it all seems too farcical to be true, and the results are exactly as anyone with OLD experience would expect.and what 44yo uses the word "playa"?
Word for word my sentiment on the process these days. When I first tried it I would take the risk and go on a first date with a "maybe" but these days I have to really fancy them in their pics to even fire off an initial message, back 10 years ago before the apps then OLD was still slightly underground and the odds were far better and participants more genuine, since the apps and the rise of social media the pool is far more tainted and therefore the odds are far worse in finding a genuine person, of course yes it happens and many on here have shown, but people also win the lottery, does not mean you can rely on it to clear your debts!
I noticed a huge change during the covid years, I started a relationship just before it kicked off so was out of the loop and then became single again a little under 3 years later, the process had become way more toxic in that time.
I feel sorry for those just dipping their toe in the water now and thinking it has always been as bad, I had a great few online dating years back then.
I see friends still in dead relationships who claimed they were going to quit years ago, I would rather be doing what I am doing than living in such.
I noticed a huge change during the covid years, I started a relationship just before it kicked off so was out of the loop and then became single again a little under 3 years later, the process had become way more toxic in that time.
I feel sorry for those just dipping their toe in the water now and thinking it has always been as bad, I had a great few online dating years back then.
I see friends still in dead relationships who claimed they were going to quit years ago, I would rather be doing what I am doing than living in such.
Capitan Obvio said:
I remember when OLD years back going on regular dates, I’d inevitably meet a ‘maybe’ for a local drink on an empty Tuesday night who was then worse than their pictures. Ok not my cuppa tea, but no probs, no need to be a dick about it because this is a real person with real feelings and they’ve made the effort to meet up. But if they vibed the date wrong and tried to get a bit amorous at the end of the drinks… I now fully understand what women refer to as the ‘ick’.
Sounds harsh to a degree but also agree with going younger. My partner isn’t a generation age gap difference, but she is 6 years younger.
Just looking at women 6 years older is a struggle because 99% are literally invisible to my eyes except the odd 1% exception. And that’s just poor odds.
I’d choose a happy non compromised single life ahead of settling for an average middle aged woman just to be in a relationship I’m afraid. Relationships by their very nature involve compromise, and the juice just wouldn’t be worth the squeeze so theirs no point in it.
Could have been written by me word for word. Back in the early days of OLD I too would go on dates with women who didn't have great photos as they might be a "maybe". As I said earlier, they would often get the wrong idea and either try something or not leave me alone after the date. As for the ick, I remember going to a Meetup group and not knowing anyone so ended up chatting to a woman there for a bit. At the end of the evening we left, were waiting at the traffic lights to cross the road and she tried to kiss me. I just didn't fancy her at all and it was awful. Sounds harsh to a degree but also agree with going younger. My partner isn’t a generation age gap difference, but she is 6 years younger.
Just looking at women 6 years older is a struggle because 99% are literally invisible to my eyes except the odd 1% exception. And that’s just poor odds.
I’d choose a happy non compromised single life ahead of settling for an average middle aged woman just to be in a relationship I’m afraid. Relationships by their very nature involve compromise, and the juice just wouldn’t be worth the squeeze so theirs no point in it.
Honestly it is just not worth going on dates with women you are not physically attracted too. Firstly it is just leading them on, and secondly it just gets really awkward and messy if they like you.
My partners dad is 75 now and has been online dating for about 15 years or so. When I look at him and the women he dates I honestly think I would rather be on my own. The difference is I am perfectly content in my own company, often I prefer it and he doesn't seem to be able to cope with being on his own.
I just cannot imagine dating someone I didn't find attractive just for some company.
ThingsBehindTheSun said:
I just cannot imagine dating someone I didn't find attractive just for some company.
When I get older, if I find myself single and craving company at home because life has gotten unexpectedly lonely, I’d genuinely rather adopt a rescue dog and give it a bloody good life. God that sounds harsh doesn’t it.
Capitan Obvio said:
When I get older, if I find myself single and craving company at home because life has gotten unexpectedly lonely, I’d genuinely rather adopt a rescue dog and give it a bloody good life.
God that sounds harsh doesn’t it.
Not at all, I feel the same. As you say, relationships involve compromise, do I really want to compromise my life, do things I don't want to do and listen to all the problems in their life for someone I am just not into?God that sounds harsh doesn’t it.
Plus it would need to be someone financially stable and who had their own house as there is no way I would want to live with anyone else again.
The majority of women my partners father dates don't seem to have much money and are still working. I am certain that to some of them he is a possible retirement plan.
Different if you have been together for decades and grow old together, I can't imagine dating a new person in their 50s, 60s or even 70s.
^^^^
I think you are viewing it through who your partner's father dates. Lots of women in their 50s, 60s own their house, financially independent, don't want to live with you full time and are physically attractive. Perhaps your partner's father attracts (perhaps he does it deliberately) a certain type of woman.
I am with you on not dating a woman you do not find sexually attractive as otherwise it's just friendship. Not all 50+ women are poor and unattractive though, just as not all 50+ men are rich desirable hunks (except on PH)
One thing you do find is an increase in poly relationships and part time (timewise) relationships in the 50+ as people look to manage their lives and relationships in a more self centred way. It takes a shift in mindset. Feeld is a good dating app for this (Feeld is my OLD app of choice).
Attracting and dating a successful 50+ who is not looking for the 'one', is comfortable with themselves, and sees you as an addition to their life rather than the centre of it has different rules and expectations. Some people can find this hard to adapt to.
I think you are viewing it through who your partner's father dates. Lots of women in their 50s, 60s own their house, financially independent, don't want to live with you full time and are physically attractive. Perhaps your partner's father attracts (perhaps he does it deliberately) a certain type of woman.
I am with you on not dating a woman you do not find sexually attractive as otherwise it's just friendship. Not all 50+ women are poor and unattractive though, just as not all 50+ men are rich desirable hunks (except on PH
)One thing you do find is an increase in poly relationships and part time (timewise) relationships in the 50+ as people look to manage their lives and relationships in a more self centred way. It takes a shift in mindset. Feeld is a good dating app for this (Feeld is my OLD app of choice).
Attracting and dating a successful 50+ who is not looking for the 'one', is comfortable with themselves, and sees you as an addition to their life rather than the centre of it has different rules and expectations. Some people can find this hard to adapt to.
Edited by C4ME on Tuesday 18th June 22:15
Need to up our game with a little vid to add to the OLD profiles;
https://x.com/sarah_katilyn/status/180285428175150...
https://x.com/sarah_katilyn/status/180285428175150...
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