Went ballistic at my OH browsing my facebook

[Slinky1989]

It's obviously over because of this. Shoot her in the face or something.

[Martial Arts Man]

The way I see it, the access to information rules get more relaxed as a relationship progresses.

It's easy to give the OP a hard time, but he may have only been with his partner for a short period. That is a totally different kettle of fish to being married guys!

Thing is, I'm not sure I would be comfortable to open my whole life to a girlfriend at all. A wife, no problem, you're in it together. But no way a girlfriend!


Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

[Dick_Phallus]

Martial Arts Man said:

The way I see it, the access to information rules get more relaxed as a relationship progresses.

It's easy to give the OP a hard time, but he may have only been with his partner for a short period. That is a totally different kettle of fish to being married guys!

Thing is, I'm not sure I would be comfortable to open my whole life to a girlfriend at all. A wife, no problem, you're in it together. But no way a girlfriend!


Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

Fair point, but this is Facebook. It's not going to have sensitive or commercial information on it. He's going to be seeing what people have been doing since school, and sending flirty messages to women. That's what it's for.

If she'd been accessing his online banking I could see his upset, even emails, but this just screams 'I'm keeping a couple of other women on the boil' incase things go tits up with you...which is fine but don't be upset when you get caught doing this.

[Dr Imran T]

I personally think you have over reacted. If as you say, there was nothing on there 'dodgy' then perhaps it was no big deal that she read your facebook messages.

I suppose it depends on how open the relationship is with your partner. However, I can see the other side of the coin too. Maybe she should not have been looking into your stuff.
Nevertheless, you could have been firm and diplomatic in your approah and achieved a better result.

[GT 1]

Martial Arts Man said:

Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

So what if you've been a girlfriend for 23 years?

Still hell no?

[Scrubs]

Dr Imran T said:

Nevertheless, you could have been firm and diplomatic in your approah and achieved a better result.

fk that st Doctor. Reason she was snooping on his Facial-book is that she was hoping to find something fishy on there. Lack of trust is what she has. Dont leave it too long though if you want to sort it all out.

[Dr Imran T]

Scrubs said:

Dr Imran T said:

Nevertheless, you could have been firm and diplomatic in your approah and achieved a better result.

fk that st Doctor. Reason she was snooping on his Facial-book is that she was hoping to find something fishy on there. Lack of trust is what she has. Dont leave it too long though if you want to sort it all out.

I see your point, however his approach has not achieved much. I just think in this case a different approach would have been more effective. His approach has ended up with him getting the silent treatment. If he was more diplomatic yet firm he could have gave her the 'real' guilt trip.

I agree with many posters on this thread that she is the one that was at fault though.

[308mate]

I keep my facebook profile for family (overseas) and friends I rarely see. Its a strict policy. Never had more than 57 "friends" on there.

Until missus decides she wants in (to be added as a friend) and is going to huff till she gets it.

I said ok because I have nothing to hide, but on the condition that she doesnt get bent out of shape about anything she sees on there.

2 weeks later, shes screaming at me about some pictures she saw and how after checking the dates (that would be the date they were added, NOT the date they were taken), I must have cheated on her.

I deleted her from Facebook the next morning from my blackberry.

It really is more trouble than its worth.

[tinman0]

escargot said:

What the fk? Why are people siding with the psychotic, jealous bunny boiler in this?

Because if you love someone you have nothing to hide. Couldn't care less if MsT started reading my Facebook account.

The OP's relationship is over frankly.

[King Herald]

isee said:

Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?

Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.

I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...

It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.

Go and punch her, let her know who is the BOSS! Just walk up, check first base, then WHAM, sucker punch her on the jaw.

[jessica]

V8mate said:

isee said:

V8mate said:

I'll give it seven days until you post again bleating about your wife having left you.

in 7 days maybe but at this precise moment in time i feel like i'd help her pack her things.

If you want to play 'secret messages' with other women - unless you are asking their advice on buying your OH a fk-off huge diamond - you have no business being married.

Edited by V8mate on Tuesday 31st March 16:55

quite..................
if you happy you dont go messing around.,and you certainley dont have a prob with other half reading your posts.......nothing to hide?????? I thinks NOT..!!!!!!!!!
If she is looking then she must feel she has reason too.

[BenjC]

King Herald said:

Go and punch her, let her know who is the BOSS! Just walk up, check first base, then WHAM, sucker punch her on the jaw.

I'd follow that with a kick to the tits.

That'll learn her not to stick her nose in.

Fella - look up Hamid Karzai, he sounds right up your street.

[crmcatee]

I hope you've updated your status to show that your missus isn't talking to you..

Isee is getting the cold shoulder from his missus...

[isee]

Dick_Phallus said:

Martial Arts Man said:

The way I see it, the access to information rules get more relaxed as a relationship progresses.

It's easy to give the OP a hard time, but he may have only been with his partner for a short period. That is a totally different kettle of fish to being married guys!

Thing is, I'm not sure I would be comfortable to open my whole life to a girlfriend at all. A wife, no problem, you're in it together. But no way a girlfriend!


Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

Fair point, but this is Facebook. It's not going to have sensitive or commercial information on it. He's going to be seeing what people have been doing since school, and sending flirty messages to women. That's what it's for.

If she'd been accessing his online banking I could see his upset, even emails, but this just screams 'I'm keeping a couple of other women on the boil' incase things go tits up with you...which is fine but don't be upset when you get caught doing this.

funnily enough, she has access to my online banking and is free within reason to use the funds there for personal needs provided she tells me beforehand. And this is all I wanted with the FB. I would have had no problem if she had asked to browse my FB (I wouldn't have been ecstatic about it, but I would have let her do it). As many people on here have said, it's not the fact that she has done it, it's the obvious distrust that her actions have shown that pissed me off. Why else would you read someone's messages otherwise?

[Rude Girl]

"confiscated"

[srebbe64]

isee said:

Dick_Phallus said:

Martial Arts Man said:

The way I see it, the access to information rules get more relaxed as a relationship progresses.

It's easy to give the OP a hard time, but he may have only been with his partner for a short period. That is a totally different kettle of fish to being married guys!

Thing is, I'm not sure I would be comfortable to open my whole life to a girlfriend at all. A wife, no problem, you're in it together. But no way a girlfriend!


Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

Fair point, but this is Facebook. It's not going to have sensitive or commercial information on it. He's going to be seeing what people have been doing since school, and sending flirty messages to women. That's what it's for.

If she'd been accessing his online banking I could see his upset, even emails, but this just screams 'I'm keeping a couple of other women on the boil' incase things go tits up with you...which is fine but don't be upset when you get caught doing this.

funnily enough, she has access to my online banking and is free within reason to use the funds there for personal needs provided she tells me beforehand. And this is all I wanted with the FB. I would have had no problem if she had asked to browse my FB (I wouldn't have been ecstatic about it, but I would have let her do it). As many people on here have said, it's not the fact that she has done it, it's the obvious distrust that her actions have shown that pissed me off. Why else would you read someone's messages otherwise?

It's called 'being in a relationship'. You talk these things through and work the problem. What you don't do is bad mouth your other half on the internet - I hope your missus reads this thread because then she'll realise that you've acted as badly as her, as far as the internet is concerned.

[escargot]

tinman0 said:

escargot said:

What the fk? Why are people siding with the psychotic, jealous bunny boiler in this?

Because if you love someone you have nothing to hide. Couldn't care less if MsT started reading my Facebook account.

You couldn't care less that she clearly doesn't trust you?

[Georgiegirl]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

blossom1985

Knock yourself out - but you will go blind.

[stormin]

srebbe64 said:

isee said:

Dick_Phallus said:

Martial Arts Man said:

The way I see it, the access to information rules get more relaxed as a relationship progresses.

It's easy to give the OP a hard time, but he may have only been with his partner for a short period. That is a totally different kettle of fish to being married guys!

Thing is, I'm not sure I would be comfortable to open my whole life to a girlfriend at all. A wife, no problem, you're in it together. But no way a girlfriend!


Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

Fair point, but this is Facebook. It's not going to have sensitive or commercial information on it. He's going to be seeing what people have been doing since school, and sending flirty messages to women. That's what it's for.

If she'd been accessing his online banking I could see his upset, even emails, but this just screams 'I'm keeping a couple of other women on the boil' incase things go tits up with you...which is fine but don't be upset when you get caught doing this.

funnily enough, she has access to my online banking and is free within reason to use the funds there for personal needs provided she tells me beforehand. And this is all I wanted with the FB. I would have had no problem if she had asked to browse my FB (I wouldn't have been ecstatic about it, but I would have let her do it). As many people on here have said, it's not the fact that she has done it, it's the obvious distrust that her actions have shown that pissed me off. Why else would you read someone's messages otherwise?

It's called 'being in a relationship'. You talk these things through and work the problem. What you don't do is bad mouth your other half on the internet - I hope your missus reads this thread because then she'll realise that you've acted as badly as her, as far as the internet is concerned.

- All he's done is blow it out of all proportion. Face it, your relationship with your "mrs" is over.

[isee]

srebbe64 said:

isee said:

Dick_Phallus said:

Martial Arts Man said:

The way I see it, the access to information rules get more relaxed as a relationship progresses.

It's easy to give the OP a hard time, but he may have only been with his partner for a short period. That is a totally different kettle of fish to being married guys!

Thing is, I'm not sure I would be comfortable to open my whole life to a girlfriend at all. A wife, no problem, you're in it together. But no way a girlfriend!


Is it really a girlfriend's place to have access to all one's private (and sometimes sensitive or commercial) info and correspondance?


Hell no!

Fair point, but this is Facebook. It's not going to have sensitive or commercial information on it. He's going to be seeing what people have been doing since school, and sending flirty messages to women. That's what it's for.

If she'd been accessing his online banking I could see his upset, even emails, but this just screams 'I'm keeping a couple of other women on the boil' incase things go tits up with you...which is fine but don't be upset when you get caught doing this.

funnily enough, she has access to my online banking and is free within reason to use the funds there for personal needs provided she tells me beforehand. And this is all I wanted with the FB. I would have had no problem if she had asked to browse my FB (I wouldn't have been ecstatic about it, but I would have let her do it). As many people on here have said, it's not the fact that she has done it, it's the obvious distrust that her actions have shown that pissed me off. Why else would you read someone's messages otherwise?

It's called 'being in a relationship'. You talk these things through and work the problem. What you don't do is bad mouth your other half on the internet - I hope your missus reads this thread because then she'll realise that you've acted as badly as her, as far as the internet is concerned.

Oh noes! I have disgraced my family's honor by posting something anonymously to a bunch of anonymous people on t'internet! The torment my other half will have to go through on her way to work every day, with PHers pointing at her and all, will scar her soul for life! "Oh look it's the "mrs" of that Isee bloke who was caught checking his facebook messages! Look everybody!" - They'll say

So, when you want a second opinion you tell your mates? (or the most trusted mate?) who then tells his most trusted mate, who then tells his girlfriend, who then tells her best mate who happens to be your girlfriend? Yeah I can see how that might be a better option...