Lost my best friend
Discussion
I had to have my poor dog put to sleep on Tuesday and can’t forgive myself for letting the vet carry this out. The grief I’m suffering is overwhelming and at the moment I can’t see a way through this. Any help would would be appreciated. He was a 14 year old Border Terrier and was suffering from gallbladder mucoceles.
I'm so very sorry. I've been through this more times than I care to remember (I'm on my 14th dog now, although we have 3 currently) and it doesn't matter how inevitable it is in terms of prognosis, there will always be guilt. You will always question yourself. It's a horrible position to be in but it's the ultimate 'cost' of dog ownership. My dear old nan used to say they take a piece of your heart with you when they go - and they do 
If you need it, Blue Cross offer a bereavement service:
https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-p...
I haven't used it, although I came seriously close when I lost one of my dogs in very traumatic circumstances. I am lucky that all of my friends and family are dog owners, so I could talk to them if I needed to - although I still haven't talked to most of them about that one.
Otherwise, please share memories on here when you are ready. This is a generally a very nice part of PH where you will have everyone's sympathy.
As someone else has already said, be kind to yourself and give yourself time.
If you need it, Blue Cross offer a bereavement service:
https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-p...
I haven't used it, although I came seriously close when I lost one of my dogs in very traumatic circumstances. I am lucky that all of my friends and family are dog owners, so I could talk to them if I needed to - although I still haven't talked to most of them about that one.
Otherwise, please share memories on here when you are ready. This is a generally a very nice part of PH where you will have everyone's sympathy.
As someone else has already said, be kind to yourself and give yourself time.
Don't beat yourself up OP. It's a horrible situation but you have done what was best for him, at the cost of your own feelings
Remember, when they are ill - it's better to be a day too early, than a day too late
You've done the right thing for them, after the relevant medical advice. It's the kindest thing you can do for them after they have given their life and their love to you
I've seen somebody refuse to deal with the necessary with an old dog. She put her feelings ahead of the dog's welfare and I'm pretty sure her guilt will outlive yours for many years to come.
Remember, when they are ill - it's better to be a day too early, than a day too late
You've done the right thing for them, after the relevant medical advice. It's the kindest thing you can do for them after they have given their life and their love to you
I've seen somebody refuse to deal with the necessary with an old dog. She put her feelings ahead of the dog's welfare and I'm pretty sure her guilt will outlive yours for many years to come.
I feel your pain, I've had to do it twice and its the hardest thing I've ever done.
I felt guilty about it, but I think that is a normal thing to feel. Try to remember all the good times you had together, and you did the right thing by putting his needs before yours.
Its hard, but in time what you're feeling now will pass and all you will have left is happy memories of the time you spent together, its quite normal to feel grief like you are and it shows how much you loved him.
I felt guilty about it, but I think that is a normal thing to feel. Try to remember all the good times you had together, and you did the right thing by putting his needs before yours.
Its hard, but in time what you're feeling now will pass and all you will have left is happy memories of the time you spent together, its quite normal to feel grief like you are and it shows how much you loved him.
It is not an easy time.
But the one thing you know in your heart, is that only the body is gone, the souls stay with us through eternity.
Don't beat yourself up at all, remember that you did the hardest thing that we all have to do - let them go so they do not suffer. You did the right thing.
But the one thing you know in your heart, is that only the body is gone, the souls stay with us through eternity.
Don't beat yourself up at all, remember that you did the hardest thing that we all have to do - let them go so they do not suffer. You did the right thing.
Letting animals share our hearts means that this will often be the dilemma, it’s a test as old as time. You know you did the right thing, at the right time. I’m so sorry for your loss, but know that you did the best kindness for your friend.
Please post some pictures if you feel up to it, I’m sure the community that you are reaching out to would love to see your beautiful friend.
Please post some pictures if you feel up to it, I’m sure the community that you are reaching out to would love to see your beautiful friend.
Edited by GH911 on Thursday 13th April 23:37
juice said:
I'm so sorry...
I have 2 woofs that, even though I know it's inevitable I'm dreading that day.
Ditto this. Although mine are cats, they've just turned 15 and as much as I'd like to pretend they're still kittens, 15 isn't young I have 2 woofs that, even though I know it's inevitable I'm dreading that day.
Hope time starts to heal for you OP - it will, but slowly.
I've had to go through this a couple of times & I try & console myself by thinking that if our pet had been left to it's own devices it could have had a long period of suffering whereas we can intervene & make the decision in their best interest & help them avoid any suffering. Easier said than done to think like this but it does help me.
Your job as a pet owner is to give your pet the best life it could have for the short amount of time it's here for. Whatever joy you got back was a reflection of the love and affection you paid your dog. Sounds like your friend had the best life they could have hoped for, so rest easy that you smashed it.
Owning animals is always painful, but you have all those positive memories and experiences to look back on that you wouldn't have had otherwise. It's worth it.
Owning animals is always painful, but you have all those positive memories and experiences to look back on that you wouldn't have had otherwise. It's worth it.
Its always such a tough time when this happens, it really is.
You have my sympathies, I have been there with 4 of my own in the past, and just this week,with one that I counted as my own as well.
Time is the only thing that eases the pain, and then the memories become even fonder as the pain subsides.
You have my sympathies, I have been there with 4 of my own in the past, and just this week,with one that I counted as my own as well.
Time is the only thing that eases the pain, and then the memories become even fonder as the pain subsides.
We have been through this 10 times, the latest just 2 weeks ago with our 12 year old Cocker. She was still happy and waggy on the day which was just awful but had a huge tumour that would have put her in awful pain within a day or so. As said above, always better a day early than late.
The day it ever becomes easier is the day I'll stop having dogs. They absolutely do take a piece of your heart with you but when the hurting stops and you look back at the memories they left you with, it is always worth the heartache.
The day it ever becomes easier is the day I'll stop having dogs. They absolutely do take a piece of your heart with you but when the hurting stops and you look back at the memories they left you with, it is always worth the heartache.
Nix P said:
Many many thanks for all the kind comments, these will help me get through this difficult period.
Maybe one day we’ll home another dog, perhaps another Border Terrier, but the thought of going through this grief again really puts us off.
Probably too early to think about it now, but at some point I'm sure you'll be ready to give another dog an amazing life and enjoy each other for many many years. Maybe one day we’ll home another dog, perhaps another Border Terrier, but the thought of going through this grief again really puts us off.
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