A note to my beloved Ruby.
Discussion
I thought I would just pop some words down here, just as a way of trying to cope as I'm utterly and totally broken at the moment. Me and the wife had to have our 5 year old Bulldog, Ruby put to sleep yesterday, after she was diagnosed with a late stage, aggressive brain tumour.
It just has completely taken us by surprise, as this time last week she appeared to be a happy, healthy dog. On Thursday night, she started having small seizures; salivating and shaking her head. We took her to the vet on Friday morning, who weren't overly concerned as the seizures had been minor and less than 30 seconds long. They gave us some diazepam and discharged her. Friday night about 9pm, she then started having full blown grand mal seizures, legs flailing, foaming at the mouth, eyes darting all about the place. She had one of these every 2.5 hours throughout the night, lasting about 45 seconds each time so we took her back to the vets at 8am on the Saturday. They sedated her and gave her some anti-epilepsy medications to make her comfortable, and then in the afternoon they discharged her and we took her to a neuro specialist vet a short while away.
She had no seizures for the remainder of Saturday and all of Sunday, whilst under the care of the neuro specialist, and they booked her in for an MRI on Monday morning. About 11am on Monday, my whole world came shattering down as I could just tell as soon as I picked up the phone it wasn't going to be good news. Massive tumour on the left hand side of her brain, likely a Glioma. I discussed treatment options with them and pretty much everything was going to be palliative, to just make her comfortable for what time she had left, or maybe give her an extra week/month.
After the distress we saw her in with the seizures, we didn't want her to potentially go through that ordeal again, so we made the incredibly tough decision to have her put to sleep yesterday evening at 6pm. I'm so thankful that the vets who performed it allowed the 2 of us to be in the room with her, although Ruby was a bit confused as we had to adorn full PPE because of COVID restrictions. I know a lot of vets aren't allowing people in the practice at all, so I'm thankful for that compromise. We held her paws and stroked her head, and told her we loved her, as she was first rendered unconscious, and then the lethal dose was administered.
I told myself yesterday that it would be the hardest day, and that each day would be better but I've done nothing but look at pictures of her today and cry. Everything around the house reminds me of her. I found her toy Fox in our bedroom earlier and just broke down in tears. The feelings at the moment range from guilt to sadness. Why didn't we pick up on any other signs, were there any other signs? What could we have possibly done to have gotten a different outcome? Our little 5 year old dog, who had never growled at anybody and just wanted love and attention all the time has been cruelly ripped away from us. She just didn't deserve it.
Even though my little dog couldn't speak a word of English, I knew EXACTLY what she wanted at all times. At around 5pm she'd jump on the bay window and wait for my wife to arrive home from work. She'd then demand her daily logbone treat as soon as my wife was through the door. If she wanted to come up on the bed, she'd put her front paws on the side and wait to be lifted up (she couldn't jump up on her own). I'm going to miss my winter morning lay ins, where she would come under the duvet and snuggle in between me and my wife. I'm just generally going to miss my best mate, who has helped keep me sane whilst I have been working from home since March. Life doesn't seem fair sometimes and it feels weird getting this cut up over what some people would say is 'just a dog'. She wasn't just a dog, she was a member of my family.
I can take a little bit of solace in that, I believe we did the right thing for her, in not wanting her to be in any more pain or discomfort. She had a feast of mashed potatoes and toast (2 of her favourite treats) before making the transition last night and I believe she knew how incredibly loved she was. I just feel totally empty without her and my wife is exactly the same.
Forgive my ramblings, I just needed to get it out of my head. Forever alive inside my heart, Ruby.
It just has completely taken us by surprise, as this time last week she appeared to be a happy, healthy dog. On Thursday night, she started having small seizures; salivating and shaking her head. We took her to the vet on Friday morning, who weren't overly concerned as the seizures had been minor and less than 30 seconds long. They gave us some diazepam and discharged her. Friday night about 9pm, she then started having full blown grand mal seizures, legs flailing, foaming at the mouth, eyes darting all about the place. She had one of these every 2.5 hours throughout the night, lasting about 45 seconds each time so we took her back to the vets at 8am on the Saturday. They sedated her and gave her some anti-epilepsy medications to make her comfortable, and then in the afternoon they discharged her and we took her to a neuro specialist vet a short while away.
She had no seizures for the remainder of Saturday and all of Sunday, whilst under the care of the neuro specialist, and they booked her in for an MRI on Monday morning. About 11am on Monday, my whole world came shattering down as I could just tell as soon as I picked up the phone it wasn't going to be good news. Massive tumour on the left hand side of her brain, likely a Glioma. I discussed treatment options with them and pretty much everything was going to be palliative, to just make her comfortable for what time she had left, or maybe give her an extra week/month.
After the distress we saw her in with the seizures, we didn't want her to potentially go through that ordeal again, so we made the incredibly tough decision to have her put to sleep yesterday evening at 6pm. I'm so thankful that the vets who performed it allowed the 2 of us to be in the room with her, although Ruby was a bit confused as we had to adorn full PPE because of COVID restrictions. I know a lot of vets aren't allowing people in the practice at all, so I'm thankful for that compromise. We held her paws and stroked her head, and told her we loved her, as she was first rendered unconscious, and then the lethal dose was administered.
I told myself yesterday that it would be the hardest day, and that each day would be better but I've done nothing but look at pictures of her today and cry. Everything around the house reminds me of her. I found her toy Fox in our bedroom earlier and just broke down in tears. The feelings at the moment range from guilt to sadness. Why didn't we pick up on any other signs, were there any other signs? What could we have possibly done to have gotten a different outcome? Our little 5 year old dog, who had never growled at anybody and just wanted love and attention all the time has been cruelly ripped away from us. She just didn't deserve it.
Even though my little dog couldn't speak a word of English, I knew EXACTLY what she wanted at all times. At around 5pm she'd jump on the bay window and wait for my wife to arrive home from work. She'd then demand her daily logbone treat as soon as my wife was through the door. If she wanted to come up on the bed, she'd put her front paws on the side and wait to be lifted up (she couldn't jump up on her own). I'm going to miss my winter morning lay ins, where she would come under the duvet and snuggle in between me and my wife. I'm just generally going to miss my best mate, who has helped keep me sane whilst I have been working from home since March. Life doesn't seem fair sometimes and it feels weird getting this cut up over what some people would say is 'just a dog'. She wasn't just a dog, she was a member of my family.
I can take a little bit of solace in that, I believe we did the right thing for her, in not wanting her to be in any more pain or discomfort. She had a feast of mashed potatoes and toast (2 of her favourite treats) before making the transition last night and I believe she knew how incredibly loved she was. I just feel totally empty without her and my wife is exactly the same.
Forgive my ramblings, I just needed to get it out of my head. Forever alive inside my heart, Ruby.
So sorry to read that, I'm sure she knew she was so loved, must be so hard to go through this.
My dog was seriously ill back in march, at one point I feared the worst, and ill admit I was dreading the thought of losing him, stupid to say, but I suspect I'd feel worse losing him than I have when some members of my family have passed.
My dog was seriously ill back in march, at one point I feared the worst, and ill admit I was dreading the thought of losing him, stupid to say, but I suspect I'd feel worse losing him than I have when some members of my family have passed.
What a beautiful girl, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Dogs are so loving and loyal and it’s so hard when they go. Sounds like she was loved very much by you and your wife but you did the right thing for her.
Yes she was your family member, that’s exactly the how I feel about my two cats.
Our family dog died 10 years ago, we were all heartbroken and there’s never a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about him. You’ll be the same and they’ll be happy memories of her.
Yes she was your family member, that’s exactly the how I feel about my two cats.
Our family dog died 10 years ago, we were all heartbroken and there’s never a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about him. You’ll be the same and they’ll be happy memories of her.
Commiserations. It's something a responsible dog owner has to accept. That one day you have to think of what is best for the dog ,rather than any feelings you may have. I still remember the day last year when I found my little lass in agony on the front room floor. She's lost the use of her rear end and vets said it was spinal. I was given options, but she looked at me and gave me one option "end it now dad" .I knew what treatment might mean to her and her lack of lack of dignity and mobility meant a lot to me. So there was only one decision. Be proud that you had the courage to make it for the dogs sake.
So sorry for your loss... My late mum lost her Golden Labrador some years ago with tumours, and what I found hard, and I know it's obvious, but you can't explain to your pet why it is suffering. Like you, we did the right thing and put our dog over and above our own turmoil.
Those of us who have had and loved our pets should just look back at all those simple, yet happy times..
Those of us who have had and loved our pets should just look back at all those simple, yet happy times..
So sorry for your loss. They’re never just a dog! They are part of your family and you should grieve them as that.
You made the right choice and were there till the end so she knew your love until that final moment. It’s a horrible decision to make but if it’s best for your dog then it’s the right decision.
When we lost our last dog, Sula, I looked at pictures and videos of her every day for about 3 months. I was heartbroken and I just needed to see her. It helped. What helped more was Sula’s breeder having another litter of pups and, despite my OH’s reservations, we brought one home. Same breed, same bloodlines but our latest pupster is so different! She’s brought joy again, in a very different way because she’s a very different dog. In time you may think about having another dog in your life, it just depends how you feel but don’t discount it.
Take care, it’s the s
tty bit about having animals, they rarely outlive you. But it’s also the best having them in your life.
You made the right choice and were there till the end so she knew your love until that final moment. It’s a horrible decision to make but if it’s best for your dog then it’s the right decision.
When we lost our last dog, Sula, I looked at pictures and videos of her every day for about 3 months. I was heartbroken and I just needed to see her. It helped. What helped more was Sula’s breeder having another litter of pups and, despite my OH’s reservations, we brought one home. Same breed, same bloodlines but our latest pupster is so different! She’s brought joy again, in a very different way because she’s a very different dog. In time you may think about having another dog in your life, it just depends how you feel but don’t discount it.
Take care, it’s the s
tty bit about having animals, they rarely outlive you. But it’s also the best having them in your life. I feel your pain, we lost our boy six weeks ago tonight and we are still very much grieving for him. As has been said above pets are part of the family, they are so loyal and loving, how could we not treat them as family. Ruby was a beautiful girl, she knew how much you loved her.
There is no time limit on grief, grief is a very personal thing. I’ve lost members of my immediate family and I certainly didn’t grieve this much. Baxter’s bed is still at the top of the stairs. We’re in no rush to move it.
Run free Ruby.
There is no time limit on grief, grief is a very personal thing. I’ve lost members of my immediate family and I certainly didn’t grieve this much. Baxter’s bed is still at the top of the stairs. We’re in no rush to move it.
Run free Ruby.
Ructions said:
I feel your pain, we lost our boy six weeks ago tonight and we are still very much grieving for him. As has been said above pets are part of the family, they are so loyal and loving, how could we not treat them as family. Ruby was a beautiful girl, she knew how much you loved her.
There is no time limit on grief, grief is a very personal thing. I’ve lost members of my immediate family and I certainly didn’t grieve this much. Baxter’s bed is still at the top of the stairs. We’re in no rush to move it.
Run free Ruby.
What you said is perfect *big love heart emoji*There is no time limit on grief, grief is a very personal thing. I’ve lost members of my immediate family and I certainly didn’t grieve this much. Baxter’s bed is still at the top of the stairs. We’re in no rush to move it.
Run free Ruby.
Edited by BoggoStump on Wednesday 14th October 02:36
Sorry to hear about your news .
Like the person above said time is a great healer , at some point you'll stop thinking about your dog and being sad and transition to thinking about the funny/stupid things your dog did .
Just think how much better off you've been to have lived with Ruby for 5 years than if you never let her into your lives.
Like the person above said time is a great healer , at some point you'll stop thinking about your dog and being sad and transition to thinking about the funny/stupid things your dog did .
Just think how much better off you've been to have lived with Ruby for 5 years than if you never let her into your lives.
Thank you so much everyone for your replies, reading them all through has made me cry, but smile too.
Both mine and Katie's families have had dogs whilst growing up. Ruby isn't the first one we've each said goodbye to, but she was OUR first dog, and the fact that she has had her life cut short by such a great deal is something I'm struggling with. Our other dogs made it to 12/13 years old, and at that age you sort of know you are on borrowed time even though saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do.
It's all just happened so suddenly and that is why I think its hit me as hard as it has. I know we gave her the best life we possibly could have, and that she had nothing but love and affection for the 5 and a bit years she was with us, and we have so many happy memories together. In time I'll be able to look back and remember her for the absolute sweetheart she was.
My house just feels so empty without her, even with 2 lunatic cats chasing each other around! Needless to say, I think for mine and my wife's mental wellbeing, when the time is right we will look to get another dog and probably a rescue one at that (we've already discussed it), but not until we are happy that we have grieved enough for our Ruby. Like our family dogs beforehand, nothing can ever replace them, each one is their own personality.
Thankyou again for all of your replies, it means a lot to me during this time. Ant.
My precious Ruby with her beloved Foxxy.
Both mine and Katie's families have had dogs whilst growing up. Ruby isn't the first one we've each said goodbye to, but she was OUR first dog, and the fact that she has had her life cut short by such a great deal is something I'm struggling with. Our other dogs made it to 12/13 years old, and at that age you sort of know you are on borrowed time even though saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do.
It's all just happened so suddenly and that is why I think its hit me as hard as it has. I know we gave her the best life we possibly could have, and that she had nothing but love and affection for the 5 and a bit years she was with us, and we have so many happy memories together. In time I'll be able to look back and remember her for the absolute sweetheart she was.
My house just feels so empty without her, even with 2 lunatic cats chasing each other around! Needless to say, I think for mine and my wife's mental wellbeing, when the time is right we will look to get another dog and probably a rescue one at that (we've already discussed it), but not until we are happy that we have grieved enough for our Ruby. Like our family dogs beforehand, nothing can ever replace them, each one is their own personality.
Thankyou again for all of your replies, it means a lot to me during this time. Ant.
My precious Ruby with her beloved Foxxy.
It is clear from what you have written and the wonderful photos just how loved Ruby was (beautiful name too). It is terribly cruel that she was taken from you so young, but please try to comfort yourself with the thought that dogs live in the moment. It is us who suffer when they leave and take a piece of our heart with them. Ruby will have known how loved she was. How lucky was she to have found you and you to have found her.
As has been said, time is a healer, but don't feel guilty about grieving for her, for as long as it takes - as you say, she was a member of your family.
As has been said, time is a healer, but don't feel guilty about grieving for her, for as long as it takes - as you say, she was a member of your family.
Losing a beloved companion is such a shock to the system. Went through something similar 3 years ago ourselves & have never felt pain like it.
That was our first dog & we just weren’t prepared for the hole that would be left,
We look back fondly & as you will, remember the good times
That was our first dog & we just weren’t prepared for the hole that would be left,
We look back fondly & as you will, remember the good times
Just wanted to say thankyou everyone on here for your incredibly heart-warming replies. It's going to take a long time to get through this, but I've been able to think about Ruby in a much more positive light today and remember her for her sweet and endearing character rather than the agonising few days she went through at the end of her little life. Thanks again.
Kind regards, Ant.
Kind regards, Ant.
Spantney
With you all the way on here. There will be a small hole in your lives any other pet will not fill ( after three Labs believe me) but any replacements will do their best to fill it
Two years ago this months we had to say goodbye to George, a 9 yo Lab/Ridgeback cross who arrive for a few weeks fostering but stayed 6 and a half years. Completely different in every way from outr first two and now sits with then umder the coffee table in their boxes For anyone else Dignity in Winchcome do a fantastic service and have looked after out three. On the coffee table are the first and last pics Mrs Fox took of each of them.
It will ease, slowly and you will get up at 9 oclock and grab the lead amonst other things, but i will add to your feelings by saying that the hreartfelt messages we got helped until George arrived back home. AND we still talk to all three.
Considering the vitriol and sarcasm you fins on 99% on all the other PH threads this is the most honest and friendly. We all feel your loss,if she was your first, you csn now join the club so to speak. And like falling off a bike get another one as quickly as possible.
Love and kises to your good lady and give here a hug from Mrs Fox
With you all the way on here. There will be a small hole in your lives any other pet will not fill ( after three Labs believe me) but any replacements will do their best to fill it
Two years ago this months we had to say goodbye to George, a 9 yo Lab/Ridgeback cross who arrive for a few weeks fostering but stayed 6 and a half years. Completely different in every way from outr first two and now sits with then umder the coffee table in their boxes For anyone else Dignity in Winchcome do a fantastic service and have looked after out three. On the coffee table are the first and last pics Mrs Fox took of each of them.
It will ease, slowly and you will get up at 9 oclock and grab the lead amonst other things, but i will add to your feelings by saying that the hreartfelt messages we got helped until George arrived back home. AND we still talk to all three.
Considering the vitriol and sarcasm you fins on 99% on all the other PH threads this is the most honest and friendly. We all feel your loss,if she was your first, you csn now join the club so to speak. And like falling off a bike get another one as quickly as possible.
Love and kises to your good lady and give here a hug from Mrs Fox
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