Help please; Separation Anxiety
Discussion
Our pub, Lamb, is now approaching 5 months and we still haven't solved his separation issues. I could do with some advise on how to solve this please as it has required my wife and I to take turns sleeping downstairs to avoid keeping the kids awake all night.
We had made the decision to get a dog last year but for various reasons, we don't get Lamb until towards the end of lockdown.
Consequently, with both of us WFH, all three kids off school, Lamb has grown up with constant access to us.
He has been crated since day one and he has a blanket over his crate. But it simply isn't possible to leave him and he will bark and whine until someone returns to the lounge where his crate is.
With kids back at school, it's not possible to just let him get on with it. Hard enough getting the kids back into the swing of school and a new school for one without tiredness adding to the problem.
So, what do we do? I am open to any and all suggestions. Happy to pay someone to help us if that's the correct path.
Lamb is a border collie.
We had made the decision to get a dog last year but for various reasons, we don't get Lamb until towards the end of lockdown.
Consequently, with both of us WFH, all three kids off school, Lamb has grown up with constant access to us.
He has been crated since day one and he has a blanket over his crate. But it simply isn't possible to leave him and he will bark and whine until someone returns to the lounge where his crate is.
With kids back at school, it's not possible to just let him get on with it. Hard enough getting the kids back into the swing of school and a new school for one without tiredness adding to the problem.
So, what do we do? I am open to any and all suggestions. Happy to pay someone to help us if that's the correct path.
Lamb is a border collie.
Have you restricted his access to you at all during the daytime? If not, it may be expecting too much of him to accept it overnight.
In the interim, could you not move his crate into your bedroom or onto the landing, so that he can be near to you at night? You may then, over time, be able to move him downstairs.
In the interim, could you not move his crate into your bedroom or onto the landing, so that he can be near to you at night? You may then, over time, be able to move him downstairs.
“... he will bark and whine until someone returns to the lounge where his crate is.”
I suspect this is the problem. He has learned that barking and whining works. Is there any way you can take the children to stay away from home for a few nights and then you sit out the whining on your own? You need to break the association he has between whining/barking and you going to comfort him. It’ll probably be excruciating for you at the beginning. Maybe set a timer and see how long he whines on the first night and keep doing that every night. Hopefully the times will get shorter each night.
Also, how was he crate trained? Does he see his crate as his safe space? I suggest giving him loads of treats in his crate at bedtime so he make an association between crate, bedtime and good things.
Good luck!
I suspect this is the problem. He has learned that barking and whining works. Is there any way you can take the children to stay away from home for a few nights and then you sit out the whining on your own? You need to break the association he has between whining/barking and you going to comfort him. It’ll probably be excruciating for you at the beginning. Maybe set a timer and see how long he whines on the first night and keep doing that every night. Hopefully the times will get shorter each night.
Also, how was he crate trained? Does he see his crate as his safe space? I suggest giving him loads of treats in his crate at bedtime so he make an association between crate, bedtime and good things.
Good luck!
I remember when we first got our pup and left him for his first night alone, it was awful! He barked, whined, howled and shrieked for what seemed like an eternity. In reality it was probably no longer than a few hour-long bouts throughout the night. Took about three nights and stopped completely. Now he will sleep downstairs at just about anyone’s house without any fuss. Earplugs and perseverance really is the only way to break the habit I’m afraid! Good luck it will pay off.
foxbody-87 said:
I remember when we first got our pup and left him for his first night alone, it was awful! He barked, whined, howled and shrieked for what seemed like an eternity. In reality it was probably no longer than a few hour-long bouts throughout the night. Took about three nights and stopped completely. Now he will sleep downstairs at just about anyone’s house without any fuss. Earplugs and perseverance really is the only way to break the habit I’m afraid! Good luck it will pay off.
It worked a treat with my children too. It was excruciating for the first night but by night three they slept like logs. Best thing we ever did. Right now his barking and whining does the job... it makes you return.
You should start crating him and leaving him for longer and longer. Don't make a big deal of it, just pop him in the crate and go out for 10 minutes or so. You should be able to easily keep increasing the time.
If its not working at all or you don't think its worth the hassle in the end then you could move the crate into your bedroom where he can see your bed. I've had to use that approach with a bunch of foster dogs purely to get a good nights sleep in the end.
With my own dog Potato he has serious separation issues to the point it wasn't really worth trying to fix. I just gave up and let him sleep in my bedroom, not in a crate. Not ideal but I just couldn't manage being woke up repeatedly through the night with no end in sight.
You should start crating him and leaving him for longer and longer. Don't make a big deal of it, just pop him in the crate and go out for 10 minutes or so. You should be able to easily keep increasing the time.
If its not working at all or you don't think its worth the hassle in the end then you could move the crate into your bedroom where he can see your bed. I've had to use that approach with a bunch of foster dogs purely to get a good nights sleep in the end.
With my own dog Potato he has serious separation issues to the point it wasn't really worth trying to fix. I just gave up and let him sleep in my bedroom, not in a crate. Not ideal but I just couldn't manage being woke up repeatedly through the night with no end in sight.
Algarve said:
Right now his barking and whining does the job... it makes you return.
You should start crating him and leaving him for longer and longer. Don't make a big deal of it, just pop him in the crate and go out for 10 minutes or so. You should be able to easily keep increasing the time.
If its not working at all or you don't think its worth the hassle in the end then you could move the crate into your bedroom where he can see your bed. I've had to use that approach with a bunch of foster dogs purely to get a good nights sleep in the end.
With my own dog Potato he has serious separation issues to the point it wasn't really worth trying to fix. I just gave up and let him sleep in my bedroom, not in a crate. Not ideal but I just couldn't manage being woke up repeatedly through the night with no end in sight.
Potato is a great name for a dog!You should start crating him and leaving him for longer and longer. Don't make a big deal of it, just pop him in the crate and go out for 10 minutes or so. You should be able to easily keep increasing the time.
If its not working at all or you don't think its worth the hassle in the end then you could move the crate into your bedroom where he can see your bed. I've had to use that approach with a bunch of foster dogs purely to get a good nights sleep in the end.
With my own dog Potato he has serious separation issues to the point it wasn't really worth trying to fix. I just gave up and let him sleep in my bedroom, not in a crate. Not ideal but I just couldn't manage being woke up repeatedly through the night with no end in sight.
The reason I was allowed to have Chester back after I separated from his 'Mummy' was his dreadful separation anxiety! She kept him for a few months then quit and I got him back, so it can work out for the best sometimes 
However, he has the worst SA I have even known and I cannot even leave him with someone else while out if I need a pee, he goes insane and if you have ever heard a Basset going 'full Basset' continually, then you know it's a terrible thing. It used to bother me, now, not so much (if at all) I just take him with me and strangely, he is absolutely fine in the car and will sit in it for hours, windows down, roof off with out a peep, he just sits there and watches the world go by, occassionally barking at some other dog that dares go by.
It does have one serious downside though: I am quite decrept and it would be great if sometimes, someone else could take him for a walk but he won't go! Even my son tried once, nope, just sits down and refuses and I mean, he REFUSES!
Now worries, I like having a demandng dog, makes me feel loved...
Phoebe on the other hand, totally diferent, can leave her anywhere and anytime without the slightest issue.
However, he has the worst SA I have even known and I cannot even leave him with someone else while out if I need a pee, he goes insane and if you have ever heard a Basset going 'full Basset' continually, then you know it's a terrible thing. It used to bother me, now, not so much (if at all) I just take him with me and strangely, he is absolutely fine in the car and will sit in it for hours, windows down, roof off with out a peep, he just sits there and watches the world go by, occassionally barking at some other dog that dares go by.
It does have one serious downside though: I am quite decrept and it would be great if sometimes, someone else could take him for a walk but he won't go! Even my son tried once, nope, just sits down and refuses and I mean, he REFUSES!
Now worries, I like having a demandng dog, makes me feel loved...
Phoebe on the other hand, totally diferent, can leave her anywhere and anytime without the slightest issue.
Excuse the tardy update to this thread and thanks for all the suggestions.
More or less all points raised, I agree with. This is a problem of our own doing and by responding to him when he kicks off, we're effectively giving him what he wants.
We've taken the easy way out and moved his crate into our bedroom which has solved the problem and in truth has not impacted us in the slightest. He has always had a blanket over his crate and whilst he generally wakes at around 0630, he'll sit quietly until 0700 when he gives a small woof to see if we're awake. Like clockwork.
A problem for another day.
More or less all points raised, I agree with. This is a problem of our own doing and by responding to him when he kicks off, we're effectively giving him what he wants.
We've taken the easy way out and moved his crate into our bedroom which has solved the problem and in truth has not impacted us in the slightest. He has always had a blanket over his crate and whilst he generally wakes at around 0630, he'll sit quietly until 0700 when he gives a small woof to see if we're awake. Like clockwork.
A problem for another day.
Can't give any suggestions, but just my experience. Last year we rescued an RSPCA dog, which was /is very timid. She could not ,even now ,be left for any length of time at home. We've made it a habit that when we go out, she comes with us. She sits in the car whilst we shop( unless the in car temperature is excessive). We've found that when leaving her in the car we give her her freedom.i.e. whilst moving she is clipped to the rear seatbelt. When we leave the car ,she is unclipped and free to move around. I also park away from where there's liable to be passing folk, as she also regard herself as on guard. Of late, we've returned to car to find her relaxed on the rear seat. With mine I'd suggest she is gaining in confidence that we will return quickly and she wil not be left tied up for long periods. On our return she is fussed and praised . All she wants to do on our return is to get in the front and get a cuddle.
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