Helping someone get over their fear of dogs

[TallTony]

Hope this is the right place for a topic like this...

My wife is terrified of dogs. She had a bad experience as a child and I don’t blame her for feeling the way she does. However we have two young children aged 3 and 6 who are both following their mothers lead for no real reason. Any time a dog comes close they get terrified, and they panic if they see a dog in the distance with no lead.

I always had dogs growing up and would love to get one now, so I do guess this thread is selfish, however if nothing else I don’t want my children to grow up with a strong fear that has no reason to be there. Many people don’t understand and there seems to be an element of derision towards people with fears like this.

I always act friendly to dogs to demonstrate there is nothing to be scared of, and I let my girls watch me rather than push them to join me. My sister has a cockapoo puppy which I hoped would break some barriers due to the cuteness factor, alas no.

So I’m wondering if anyone can share their experiences of dealing with similar situations.

[anonymous-user]

There is a reason, they're copying her anxiety and being trained by it.

How about contacting a local dog trainer or behaviourist and see if they have any super docile dogs they could meet in a safe environment?

But note, it won't help unless your wife is helped as she'll undo all the other good stuff

[Black_S3]

I like little harmless dogs but am scared stless of the bigger guard type dogs... There was one huge German Shepard (over 6ft tall when it put its paws onto your shoulders and went onto its back legs) I used to see regularly on walks that I knew was perfectly friendly as it would always greet me and my exes dog in an extremely friendly way but I always felt a paralysing fear that if it wanted to it could kill me without much effort..... given I knew this dog was friendly I’d class it as an irrational fear rather than being wary of a strong animal.

I think the start is little ball of furr type dogs that just want to jump up and sit on your lap. Cuteness wins over fear within minutes.

[juice]

keirik said:

There is a reason, they're copying her anxiety and being trained by it.

How about contacting a local dog trainer or behaviourist and see if they have any super docile dogs they could meet in a safe environment?

But note, it won't help unless your wife is helped as she'll undo all the other good stuff

Yep, I was going to suggest finding a local assistance dog trainer and asking if she could meet one of the dogs.

[Jasandjules]

I know a few people who use PAT dogs - where in the country are you? (some of them are large dogs too, used to go into hospitals/prisons for cuddles)

[garythesign]

I think an irrational fear is very hard to overcome.

You could contact pets as therapy. Apart from hospital visits etc. I believe they also offer help with fear of dogs.

Good luck

Edited by garythesign on Friday 31st May 08:52

[sc0tt]

I love dogs until one bit me, now I hate all dogs that look “scary”, no changing that and I still have the scars to show.

My own fault though

[TallTony]

Jasandjules said:

I know a few people who use PAT dogs - where in the country are you? (some of them are large dogs too, used to go into hospitals/prisons for cuddles)

Firstly, thanks everyone for the replies.

What is a PAT dog? We are near York.

[garythesign]

TallTony said:

Firstly, thanks everyone for the replies.

What is a PAT dog? We are near York.

PAT is Pets as Therapy. They are based in Oxfordshire, but operate all around the UK.

[mids]

The therapy dog suggestion is a good idea and I'd have thought that'd be a better option than your sister's puppy. A puppy can look cute and harmless but a young pup with it's razor sharp teeth and wanting to bite/play with anything near (including fingers!) can be a bit intense, difficult to cope with and can hurt.

Good luck...

[Orchid1]

I had a slight fear of dogs in my late teens early twenties.

What cured me was going round to a friend's parents house whilst at University only to be greeted by a ginormous Great Dane bounding down the hall to excitedly greet me.

I got a fright at first but turned out to be the friendliest dog I ever met who wanted nothing more than to stand on it's hind legs with it's paws on your shoulders for a hug.

I've always loved dogs, especially large ones ever since.

[geeks]

TallTony said:

Jasandjules said:

I know a few people who use PAT dogs - where in the country are you? (some of them are large dogs too, used to go into hospitals/prisons for cuddles)

Firstly, thanks everyone for the replies.

What is a PAT dog? We are near York.

Shame you aren't near Milton Keynes, I would lend you our Schnoodle, she just wants to be loved by one and all. She should have been born 40 years ago as she is all peace love and harmony and is exceptional with people who are nervous with dogs.
We have used her on a few occasions for this for friends of the family who are similar. We did look at having her trained as a therapy type dog and are currently looking into taking her into old peoples homes for visits having seem it on the local news the other week where people are taking dogs in to see the older generation and how it helps them.

[garythesign]

geeks said:

Shame you aren't near Milton Keynes, I would lend you our Schnoodle, she just wants to be loved by one and all. She should have been born 40 years ago as she is all peace love and harmony and is exceptional with people who are nervous with dogs.
We have used her on a few occasions for this for friends of the family who are similar. We did look at having her trained as a therapy type dog and are currently looking into taking her into old peoples homes for visits having seem it on the local news the other week where people are taking dogs in to see the older generation and how it helps them.

PAT dogs do not need special training. They need to be well behaved and reasonably calm.

They are assessed for their suitability.

I have had two and we used to visit the local cancer hospice.

It is very rewarding and does a huge amount of good for the patients.

I urge you to look further into this.

[popeyewhite]

garythesign said:

I think an irrational fear is very hard to overcome.

It's not irrational. A bit excessive probably.
Desensitisation is not the only way to address inconvenient anxiety/fear.

[TallTony]

mids said:

The therapy dog suggestion is a good idea and I'd have thought that'd be a better option than your sister's puppy. A puppy can look cute and harmless but a young pup with it's razor sharp teeth and wanting to bite/play with anything near (including fingers!) can be a bit intense, difficult to cope with and can hurt.

Good luck...

That’s a good point, and I can confirm she has razor sharp little teeth. My sister is actually intending to train her to be a therapy dog so I’m sure she will know more about them.

[TallTony]

keirik said:

There is a reason, they're copying her anxiety and being trained by it.

I completely agree. When I said there was no real reason why my girls are scared I meant they had no historical traumatic experience to cause this.

It is frustrating as sometimes I can get my eldest to accept dogs and then the following weekend, after a week of walking to school with my wife and being with her reactions to dogs, she’s back to being terrified.

My wife does accept she is the root cause and that causes anxiety in itself.

[popeyewhite]

TallTony said:

When I said there was no real reason why my girls are scared I meant they had no historical traumatic experience to cause this.

Apart from the fact over human history wolves have/can/do eat humans? It's more natural to fear dogs than not. Same for snakes, spiders etc

[geeks]

garythesign said:

geeks said:

Shame you aren't near Milton Keynes, I would lend you our Schnoodle, she just wants to be loved by one and all. She should have been born 40 years ago as she is all peace love and harmony and is exceptional with people who are nervous with dogs.
We have used her on a few occasions for this for friends of the family who are similar. We did look at having her trained as a therapy type dog and are currently looking into taking her into old peoples homes for visits having seem it on the local news the other week where people are taking dogs in to see the older generation and how it helps them.

PAT dogs do not need special training. They need to be well behaved and reasonably calm.

They are assessed for their suitability.

I have had two and we used to visit the local cancer hospice.

It is very rewarding and does a huge amount of good for the patients.

I urge you to look further into this.

Useful info, when I meant trained we want to have her a little calmer for it. She just wants to love everyone but can be excitable but its over affection! We are looking further into it but if you fancy PM'ing me some of your experience I would really love to hear more!

We also have Nara the Jug but she is very shy but would be ideal if we can get her past her shyness as well.

[Jasandjules]

TallTony said:

Firstly, thanks everyone for the replies.

What is a PAT dog? We are near York.

I think one lady is that far North, I can check if you like. Her dogs are huge.. But very cuddly, they look a bit like a large teddy bear....

[PurpleTurtle]

I was scared of dogs as a child until I was about 12, then my friend got a frindly but not particularly docile one - a lab/collie cross, so fairly energetic.

I got over my fear by spending a lot of time with her, taking her for walks with him etc. Just spending time with a friendly dog helped me overcome my fear.

My son is 4 and was a bit of a scaredy cat with dogs, as my wife is, but we've dealt with this by dogsitting a fellow PHer's Jack Russell when he does on holiday (High five, ES!) which has got both of them so used to it that in June we're having a night out because my son is going for a sleepover at the dog's house!